toilet trouble

[totallyconfused]

recent weeks; saying she cant go but just went two minutes before that, going in to bathroom and standing there, taking tissue and leaving or just standing there and then going back to bed, taking mountains of toilet paper with her.

wasn't happy with the raised toilet seat but then uses it perfectly, the next time she cant remember to even pull down her underwear or that she cant see it and reacts badly when I suggest it and says she knows that.

I try to keep going but this is a struggle but I remain calm as can be and hope its a phase. She also started going to the toilet in the shower so we close the doors on that now and this did not go down well!

this ****** disease, my poor mother. Cruel.

 

[Cazzita]

Yes,a horrible disease indeed. Today I went upstairs to find a trail of poo on the floor, a soiled nightie and bed sheet yet mum did not say a word. So weird and horrible and this is just the start!
Wishing you love and luck in dealing with this awful part of dementia x

 

[totallyconfused]

Yes,a horrible disease indeed. Today I went upstairs to find a trail of poo on the floor, a soiled nightie and bed sheet yet mum did not say a word. So weird and horrible and this is just the start!
Wishing you love and luck in dealing with this awful part of dementia x

oh my goodness. What a day for you. We had that only once so far. Poo on the bedroom floor at 4am, my mother thought nothing of it, didn't think anything was wrong. Put her to bed in spare room and cleaned what I could. It was tough time and it was my late fathers 70th birthday the next day so he was on my mind. I wont lie, tears wee shed at 4am cleaning up. Everything just got to me.

I just hate that this happened to her or to anyone to be honest. I know its not personal attacks, she doesn't know but we are human and it takes a toll.

 

[Jessbow]

What is with the obsession with Loo Roll and tissues? It seems like a really common *thing*. My late mum could go through a hole roll in a day, and never once depositing anything in the loo. !

Its- dare I say it- a really ****** time

 

[Guzelle]

My OH has a few times dropped poop on the bathroom floor trodden in it and walked it throughout the house. I have also arrived home from work to find poo all over the kitchen floor. While cleaning it up he shouts at me for always cleaning. He always blames the cat!

 

[Cazzita]

It is SO horrible - for the carers who have to clean it up. The PWD doesn't seem too fazed by it at all. @Guzelle , how horrible to be shouted at while cleaning it up!

 

[Guzelle]

It was once all over the bedroom carpet and when he saw me cleaning it he shouted at me and shoved me out if the bedroom . He said he liked it like that. I had to wait until he was downstairs to clean it. He has become very aggressive lately. He has been given antidepressants which help a bit, but he has terrible mood swings and shouts at me and our daughter for no reason. I feel so down but can’t seem to get any help as he only wants me and won’t go to day centres. When careers come to the house to talk about him going out with them he then is nasty to me all day!

 

[Cazzita]

It was once all over the bedroom carpet and when he saw me cleaning it he shouted at me and shoved me out if the bedroom . He said he liked it like that. I had to wait until he was downstairs to clean it. He has become very aggressive lately. He has been given antidepressants which help a bit, but he has terrible mood swings and shouts at me and our daughter for no reason. I feel so down but can’t seem to get any help as he only wants me and won’t go to day centres. When careers come to the house to talk about him going out with them he then is nasty to me all day!

Gosh, this is an awful situation to find yourself in. I would push for him to go into respite care so you can have complete days/a week off - it's all too much and you should not have to feel totally responsible because you just aren't. Big hugs XXX

 

[Guzelle]

Thanks @Cazzita, today we have had a better day. We have been to the shops and a walk with the walking group. He has been happier and is understanding more today than he has in the last 4 weeks, it’s all very unpredictable.He will be trying an antipsychotic drug soon. Hopefully that might calm him.

 

[SpanishAnnie]

Just reading posts about ‘poo problems” for some guidance.

My FIL will only use one square of toilet paper and even folds that up to as small as he can get it, of course poo ends up all over his hands & up his nails, then it gets transferred to whatever his touches next.
I’ve tried leaving kitchen roll, thought the larger pieces would help, no, you guessed, gets folded up the same, disposable wet wipes, folded up again, a habit formed over many years, never to change.
Sadly for the last three days has had accidents, no definite pattern, sometimes when we are out, sometimes he breaks wind, much to his own amusement, sat on his bed or in his bed. Washing machine working overtime.
Last night I gave him padded underpants to wear, try to have a chat about why, yes I know you can’t reason. However he seems to have some knowledge he is doing this as he shows me his accidents. He put them on but sometime in the night took them off, accidents again. He knew and came to see me to tell me this a.m. just to say to get his bed stripped and some new jimjams for tonight ! Didn’t want to wear the padded pants as they were ‘all wrong’.

I suppose it’s a long game and will keep encouraging him to wear the padded pants. If you can’t explain and the understanding has gone, I guess that’s that and we have to live with this now.

 

[SpiderEric]

Just reading posts about ‘poo problems” for some guidance.

My FIL will only use one square of toilet paper and even folds that up to as small as he can get it, of course poo ends up all over his hands & up his nails, then it gets transferred to whatever his touches next.
I’ve tried leaving kitchen roll, thought the larger pieces would help, no, you guessed, gets folded up the same, disposable wet wipes, folded up again, a habit formed over many years, never to change.
Sadly for the last three days has had accidents, no definite pattern, sometimes when we are out, sometimes he breaks wind, much to his own amusement, sat on his bed or in his bed. Washing machine working overtime.
Last night I gave him padded underpants to wear, try to have a chat about why, yes I know you can’t reason. However he seems to have some knowledge he is doing this as he shows me his accidents. He put them on but sometime in the night took them off, accidents again. He knew and came to see me to tell me this a.m. just to say to get his bed stripped and some new jimjams for tonight ! Didn’t want to wear the padded pants as they were ‘all wrong’.

I suppose it’s a long game and will keep encouraging him to wear the padded pants. If you can’t explain and the understanding has gone, I guess that’s that and we have to live with this now.

Oh, I could have written that post!
Before dad became confined to bed I used to have the'one sheet' problem all the time. He would fold, then fold again until the size of a postage stamp completely oblivious to the fact that his hands were plastered in poo.
And yes,it is a long game. A year later.... it's nearly 4am, I've cleaned up after 3 incidents so far tonight including a complete bed change......fingers crossed that I manage to get some sleep!

 

[SpanishAnnie]

Oh, I could have written that post!
Before dad became confined to bed I used to have the'one sheet' problem all the time. He would fold, then fold again until the size of a postage stamp completely oblivious to the fact that his hands were plastered in poo.
And yes,it is a long game. A year later.... it's nearly 4am, I've cleaned up after 3 incidents so far tonight including a complete bed change......fingers crossed that I manage to get some sleep!

Hiya SpiderEric, thanks for your reply. Must be a thing from the ‘old days’ hey ? making the very best use of everything, my FIL lived through rationing so had to make everything stretch
He seems to have found the kitchen roll more acceptable to use, still folds but not as small, so a teeny step forward
Will your dad wear pads ? I ask as this is probably going to be our next step, so have bought some incontenance underwear in preparation, so wondered how you’ve gone with that ?
Hope you got some sleep !!

 

[SunnyDelight]

It is SO horrible - for the carers who have to clean it up. The PWD doesn't seem too fazed by it at all. @Guzelle , how horrible to be shouted at while cleaning it up!

You must have good carers.
When challenged about the mess. The ones we had (social services approved) said quote/unquote - 'we don't do housework'. So leaving poo and urine all over the floor (including soiled pads, bedding, kylie pads and clothes) seemed to be standard procedure. Which I discovered to my disgust on returning to the house after a few days.

 

[Katrine]

I know this doesn't help, but the folded paper thing has some basis in early toilet training, I think. Or maybe that was just my family! My mother tried to teach me that it was always possible to use only 2 squares of toilet paper. If there's a wartime Ministry of Information pamphlet about it, I've never seen it. Perhaps there were talks given by the WI?

People used hard toilet paper. It has greater structural integrity. You scrunched and rubbed the sheets before use to break down the fibres and make it semi-absorbent. Remember Izal? The 2-sheet technique involved wiping then folding, wiping then folding, with one sheet, so that eventually you ended up with a small folded square. I think the other sheet was used as a sort of glove, and there was something about tearing a strip off and winding it round your finger. Quite frankly, I chose to blank out the whole thing as being unnecessarily disgusting. If I was down to the last 2 squares I would get another roll, or a box of tissues. If another war came, rationing toilet paper was unlikely to be a feature, since in the 1960's we were expecting WW3 to be nuclear.

So, not helpful to anyone now, but sort of interesting that we can regress to behaviours learned decades ago and long forgotten. Pulling out all the electric plugs is another such behaviour, once an important night-time task.

 

[SpanishAnnie]

I know this doesn't help, but the folded paper thing has some basis in early toilet training, I think. Or maybe that was just my family! My mother tried to teach me that it was always possible to use only 2 squares of toilet paper. If there's a wartime Ministry of Information pamphlet about it, I've never seen it. Perhaps there were talks given by the WI?

People used hard toilet paper. It has greater structural integrity. You scrunched and rubbed the sheets before use to break down the fibres and make it semi-absorbent. Remember Izal? The 2-sheet technique involved wiping then folding, wiping then folding, with one sheet, so that eventually you ended up with a small folded square. I think the other sheet was used as a sort of glove, and there was something about tearing a strip off and winding it round your finger. Quite frankly, I chose to blank out the whole thing as being unnecessarily disgusting. If I was down to the last 2 squares I would get another roll, or a box of tissues. If another war came, rationing toilet paper was unlikely to be a feature, since in the 1960's we were expecting WW3 to be nuclear.

So, not helpful to anyone now, but sort of interesting that we can regress to behaviours learned decades ago and long forgotten. Pulling out all the electric plugs is another such behaviour, once an important night-time task.

Ah yes, can see that now, I thought it was an old habit that’s well engrained. I’ve tried telling my FIL that he can use as much as he likes as we get it free from social services, didn’t work, the habit kicks in.

 

[Cazzita]

You must have good carers.
When challenged about the mess. The ones we had (social services approved) said quote/unquote - 'we don't do housework'. So leaving poo and urine all over the floor (including soiled pads, bedding, kylie pads and clothes) seemed to be standard procedure. Which I discovered to my disgust on returning to the house after a few days.

Oh my God, I cannot believe that they did this! My mum's carers (private agency) are absolutely brilliant and have told me that they are happy to do housework and clean up after mum too! How lazy are these people who clearly do NOT care about the state a person is left in! I am appalled and disgusted in equal measure. Of course when I go in and there is a mess, I clean it up, but if the carers are there, they do it - willingly - and say they would never leave her in a mess. What a system!

 

[Goingitalone]

Just reading posts about ‘poo problems” for some guidance.

My FIL will only use one square of toilet paper and even folds that up to as small as he can get it, of course poo ends up all over his hands & up his nails, then it gets transferred to whatever his touches next.
I’ve tried leaving kitchen roll, thought the larger pieces would help, no, you guessed, gets folded up the same, disposable wet wipes, folded up again, a habit formed over many years, never to change.
Sadly for the last three days has had accidents, no definite pattern, sometimes when we are out, sometimes he breaks wind, much to his own amusement, sat on his bed or in his bed. Washing machine working overtime.
Last night I gave him padded underpants to wear, try to have a chat about why, yes I know you can’t reason. However he seems to have some knowledge he is doing this as he shows me his accidents. He put them on but sometime in the night took them off, accidents again. He knew and came to see me to tell me this a.m. just to say to get his bed stripped and some new jimjams for tonight ! Didn’t want to wear the padded pants as they were ‘all wrong’.

I suppose it’s a long game and will keep encouraging him to wear the padded pants. If you can’t explain and the understanding has gone, I guess that’s that and we have to live with this now.

My mil hated the incontinence pants at first. She kept asking me me where her proper knickers were. But we persevered and managed to cope until the nights when her flow was so great that they would literally drop down with the sheer weight of the urine. . That lady could drink tea like it was going on ration!

One thing that helped was my telling her that even the Queen wears ‘magic knickers’ on her many trips abroad and, of course, I couldn’t prove it because they’re never going to print “by appointment to her majesty” on the packs, now, are they?

 

[kindred]

s

You must have good carers.
When challenged about the mess. The ones we had (social services approved) said quote/unquote - 'we don't do housework'. So leaving poo and urine all over the floor (including soiled pads, bedding, kylie pads and clothes) seemed to be standard procedure. Which I discovered to my disgust on returning to the house after a few days.

Sweetheart, that is absolutely appalling that they say they don't do housework. The carers we had did just about ANYTHING.
I am so sorry, that is horrible for you. Kindred.

 

[Bunpoots]

You must have good carers.
When challenged about the mess. The ones we had (social services approved) said quote/unquote - 'we don't do housework'. So leaving poo and urine all over the floor (including soiled pads, bedding, kylie pads and clothes) seemed to be standard procedure. Which I discovered to my disgust on returning to the house after a few days.

I can’t believe this! Dad’s carers managed to get him clean, fed, changed, wet bed stripped and washing on the line all in a 45 minutes visit by one carer. All accidents were cleaned up and pull-ups appropriately disposed of. That is definitely sub-standard care!