And what rights does one have to decide how far one is prepared to take on this role?
Husband has dementia. Not in advance stage yet but I find it increasingly stressful looking after him and I've had an ECG today heart problem probably because of stress. I am not prepared to be a full time 24/7 carer. I cook, clean, do the shopping, look after the bills and take him out for various pleasure trips and medical appointments. I don't mind doing these things but I am not prepared to be a carer 24/7 or put up with his increasingly spiteful moods. I know it is the disease but that doesn't make it easier as he is no longer the kind loving man I married. I've accepted that man has gone.
Sites focussing on carers, including this one, tend to think everyone is cut out to give their lives up to care for their partner/parent but we aren't all the same and some of us don't want to embrace the role and have limits to what we are prepared to do.
What happens when I reach this limit? Who makes the rules? Where are my rights in all this? Should I simply walk away? I am not prepared to ruin my health looking after someone who is not going to get better. I've seen too many examples of partners worn down by caring.
Sorry for the rant but I can't find any answers to these questions on websites just mimsy words about the 'joy of caring'. Well I don't find it joyful at all.
Husband has dementia. Not in advance stage yet but I find it increasingly stressful looking after him and I've had an ECG today heart problem probably because of stress. I am not prepared to be a full time 24/7 carer. I cook, clean, do the shopping, look after the bills and take him out for various pleasure trips and medical appointments. I don't mind doing these things but I am not prepared to be a carer 24/7 or put up with his increasingly spiteful moods. I know it is the disease but that doesn't make it easier as he is no longer the kind loving man I married. I've accepted that man has gone.
Sites focussing on carers, including this one, tend to think everyone is cut out to give their lives up to care for their partner/parent but we aren't all the same and some of us don't want to embrace the role and have limits to what we are prepared to do.
What happens when I reach this limit? Who makes the rules? Where are my rights in all this? Should I simply walk away? I am not prepared to ruin my health looking after someone who is not going to get better. I've seen too many examples of partners worn down by caring.
Sorry for the rant but I can't find any answers to these questions on websites just mimsy words about the 'joy of caring'. Well I don't find it joyful at all.