Time for Respite or Full Time Care?

[Herewego]

OK - I think I know the answer to this one - I guess I really want my husband to go into full time care now. He started at a day centre in July and is now going 5 days a week. He initially resisted it, but spoke to the DC manager on Friday and she said that while he asked about myself or the children all the time at the beginning, now he rarely if ever even mentions us. He goes without protest and as much as I can tell, enjoys being there.

He is physically fit but mentally no longer there. Talks all the time, although I notice he searches for words more now and his sentences are jumbled up and what he says/talks about is rarely based on reality. Delusions and hallucinations rule, he constantly wants to or thinks he is going somewhere, he walks/paces all the time never sitting down for more than a minute or two, constantly moving things - furniture, books, clothes etc. I have now locked doors to the kitchen as he is not safe in there anymore.

My question is does anyone have experience in Berkshire of finding a place for full time care? If so, how long did it take??

 

[AliceA]

OK - I think I know the answer to this one - I guess I really want my husband to go into full time care now. He started at a day centre in July and is now going 5 days a week. He initially resisted it, but spoke to the DC manager on Friday and she said that while he asked about myself or the children all the time at the beginning, now he rarely if ever even mentions us. He goes without protest and as much as I can tell, enjoys being there.

He is physically fit but mentally no longer there. Talks all the time, although I notice he searches for words more now and his sentences are jumbled up and what he says/talks about is rarely based on reality. Delusions and hallucinations rule, he constantly wants to or thinks he is going somewhere, he walks/paces all the time never sitting down for more than a minute or two, constantly moving things - furniture, books, clothes etc. I have now locked doors to the kitchen as he is not safe in there anymore.

My question is does anyone have experience in Berkshire of finding a place for full time care? If so, how long did it take??

I don't but want to wish you well. Alice.

 

[Guzelle]

Hope you find somewhere suitable soon. It does sound as though it is time for a CH x

 

[Sirena]

Are you self funded? If so you will get little help from Social Services, they will leave it all up to you. I'm not in Berkshire but I would think the process is similar wherever you are. My mother is self funded and I used

https://www.carehome.co.uk/

to find a care home for her last winter. I looked at the websites and read the reviews and the CQC reports and visited a few on the basis of those. (Actually in all honesty I also looked at the fees!) I knew 'the one' when I walked in. It isn't posh but it's homely and all the staff were friendly and cheerful. It only took me a week or two to find the care home, but I then had to make a lot of other arrangements, and the CH needed to do an assessment, so the process took over two months.

Bear in mind that 'dementia care homes' vary greatly, some only want early stage 'easy' residents, so ask them what behaviour they will and won't tolerate, and in particular how they would deal with the behaviours your husband exhibits. If you see residents who are later stage than your husband it's a good sign, as it means they won't ask him to move if he deteriorates. I hope you find the right place for him, I found it difficult and stressful but I know it was the right thing.

 

[Herewego]

Thanks for your responses and support - we are not self funded so need to have the LA/SS on-board. Meeting on Monday should make things a lot clearer - have found a new Care Home locally that is ideal at the moment for respite but outside the cost SS will fund - thinking of ways to fund it for the 4 weeks (top up that is). First question will be whether there is somewhere else within budget that we can put him for 3/4 weeks to give me a break and the family time to find the right care home & one that has space. Problem is that any of the good ones around here appear to be full. Actually to be fair, they all seem to be full..........

 

[canary]

Unfortunately, most care homes have waiting lists these days