I know I will be asked what mum would like for Christmas but my ideas are so limited. At 98, newly in a lovely care home and with the dementia having progressed over the last year more quickly than before I do not know what to suggest. So many people give her food - from special biscuits to a hamper from Betty's they are all lovely but will not get eaten. What do you find is "just the right thing when it comes to Christmas presents for your PWD?
Suggestions for Christmas presents
- Thread starter MothersCarer
- Start date
My mother still likes clothes so I've bought her a couple of jumpers, plus some chocolate and posh shower gel. There isn't really anything else she would be interested in.
She also loves cuddly toys as suggested by Katrine, but she has a collection of about twenty so I think she's got enough for now!
She also loves cuddly toys as suggested by Katrine, but she has a collection of about twenty so I think she's got enough for now!
My friend loves lap blankets, they give her comfort. Also if someone can knit/crochet maybe a twiddle muff? they can be cute. I made a few as xmas presents for several of my older friends and people with dementia I know and they have been a great success in all cases. They don't take very long to make.
What about Robert Opie's 'Scrap books - there's one for 1930s when she would have been 10 yrs old, and they continue after that. They are large, thin hardback books full of the most wonderful pictures of things that would have been very familiar to her - hardly any writing. She may not think to get the book out to look at, but I guarantee that if you or a carer get it out and look together she will have some memories of the things that are in there, and will tell you about things she recognises if she is able.
My tip is to get one with memories further back than you would think. MIL, who had dementia and died at 84 still had very clear memories of when she was living at home with her Mum and Dad and her brothers in the 1930s ,1940s- very little memory of her 50 years of marriage, her daughter , husband or son.
Maybe that fits in with the very familiar pleas of our relatives who just want to "Go Home" Just an idea - hope it helps.
My tip is to get one with memories further back than you would think. MIL, who had dementia and died at 84 still had very clear memories of when she was living at home with her Mum and Dad and her brothers in the 1930s ,1940s- very little memory of her 50 years of marriage, her daughter , husband or son.
Maybe that fits in with the very familiar pleas of our relatives who just want to "Go Home" Just an idea - hope it helps.
I’m thinking of making a scrapbook for my dad, from his childhood through to his early family life when we were children. Not sure what he’ll think of it but it’ll give the carers at his carehome something to talk to him about.
I can't really be bothered with Christmas, but have been buying CDs and music DVDs to listen to on cold dark winter nights.
That's a nice idea about theRobert Opie scrapbook I have just found it on Amazon,mum was born in 38,I think I will miss the war years and get the 1950's version,I would enjoy reading the book with mum and talking about the pictures
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Thanks for the 'heads up' about the Helen Bates and Robert Opie books. Just ordered a couple for Mum (doesn't help that it's her birthday just before Christmas, so 2 lots of gifts to buy).
She already has several patchwork quilts that I have made her for her CH room, however for Xmas I ordered a fleece quilt online, with sherpa backing, that is printed on the fleece side with personal pictures. I used old photos, loaded them and the website designed the scatter effect. It was dead easy to do and printing/delivery was quick. It arrived yesterday - I hope she likes it. I didn't think it was too awfully expensive at £29.99 for such a personalised item.
She already has several patchwork quilts that I have made her for her CH room, however for Xmas I ordered a fleece quilt online, with sherpa backing, that is printed on the fleece side with personal pictures. I used old photos, loaded them and the website designed the scatter effect. It was dead easy to do and printing/delivery was quick. It arrived yesterday - I hope she likes it. I didn't think it was too awfully expensive at £29.99 for such a personalised item.
Thank you all for your suggestions. She has so little that she "needs" and is attached to her soft blanket, a family of teddies - one of who is being clutched very tightly since her move into the home. The Robert Opie book sounds like a really good idea. I think I will just suggest flowers - which she loves getting - to other members of the family and extra phone calls. It's a bit of a pain for the home but it will make her day.
That's lovely I'm going to get my mum a new cuddly toy and I ordered the Robert Opie book last night from Amazon,she has a little white seal and a red fox that she likes to snuggle with at the moment
Mum says my dad gave her the bear (he didn't but that's not what is important) I say that means "Sandy" is full of happy memories and she beams at me. I want to weep for her when I think how frightened she must feel at times but the bear is certainly doing sterling duty.
I am getting a large pin board made for mum as she can have pictures up in her room. It is quite a small room and, when I went back to her house it felt a bit soulless and I realised the thing that was most "her" were all the many photos. We put some up before she moved in but a big pin-board will mean we can put up the older cards she has been sent and photos not in frames. As I said at the beginning, it's other members of the family who will ask and I think the books will at least give us a "talking" point.
I put a pinboard in Mum's room with a small whiteboard section. I write on it who will be next visiting and when. Sadly, Mum can only read the words now, but not assimilate the information. However, it's useful for the carers to remind her of visits and make sure she is ready for them.
A couple of other ideas that might be useful:
Silk flowers/plants - less bother than fresh, but Mum kept trying to water them.
Battery operated candles with timer. They flicker safely and effectively and turn themselves on for 6 hours then turn off. The CH love them, however, Mum keeps removing and hiding the batteries
.
As Mum's condition has deteriorated, she no longer appears to gain comfort from soft toys etc. Even her robotic cat (they were inseparable) is put to one side.
I really think Mum's ideal gift would just be a box of tissues that she could take and fold, and fold again and shake and fold again .......
A couple of other ideas that might be useful:
Silk flowers/plants - less bother than fresh, but Mum kept trying to water them.
Battery operated candles with timer. They flicker safely and effectively and turn themselves on for 6 hours then turn off. The CH love them, however, Mum keeps removing and hiding the batteries
.As Mum's condition has deteriorated, she no longer appears to gain comfort from soft toys etc. Even her robotic cat (they were inseparable) is put to one side.
I really think Mum's ideal gift would just be a box of tissues that she could take and fold, and fold again and shake and fold again .......
On her last Christmas I bought mum some OTT sparkly Christmas socks. The carers put them on her and she kept lifting up one foot, wiggling it and giggling
I put a pinboard in Mum's room with a small whiteboard section. I write on it who will be next visiting and when. Sadly, Mum can only read the words now, but not assimilate the information. However, it's useful for the carers to remind her of visits and make sure she is ready for them.
A couple of other ideas that might be useful:
Silk flowers/plants - less bother than fresh, but Mum kept trying to water them.
Battery operated candles with timer. They flicker safely and effectively and turn themselves on for 6 hours then turn off. The CH love them, however, Mum keeps removing and hiding the batteries
As Mum's condition has deteriorated, she no longer appears to gain comfort from soft toys etc. Even her robotic cat (they were inseparable) is put to one side.
I really think Mum's ideal gift would just be a box of tissues that she could take and fold, and fold again and shake and fold again .......
I think a lot of what I am doing now is to help people have what is often a bit of a one sided conversation. I am going to put up a small pinboard mum had at home with pictures of her last cat on it. She doesn't seem upset by the pictures or talk about her cat so that is another "talking point". I also have a picture each of mum and dad in uniform during the war (WAAF and RAF). That time has been quite a big slice of mum's memory pie so again, it may help for a while. I agree with the silk flowers. Fresh are good for sending for birthdays etc., simply because they don't last although mum is inclined to hang on to them even when they are dead. Mum was great at hiding at home - one reason I will be looking at the toy money.
I didn't know the tissues thing was general - what a relief/sadness.
Just a note, @MothersCarer (and others). If the photos and cards have any sentimental value, or are the only copy and younwoukd be upset if they are misplaced, don't take the originals, take a color copy to the care home. Things do go missing and I would hate for you to lose the only photo you have of your great grandparents or similar.
My mother still moves photos around a lot and something I wish I'd thought of sooner, was inexpensive and unbreakable photo frames from the pound shop.
My mother still moves photos around a lot and something I wish I'd thought of sooner, was inexpensive and unbreakable photo frames from the pound shop.
My mother also over waters all plants and flowers, real or artificial, and did a lot of water damage in the process. We had to stop taking flowers in to the care home.
My mother has obsessions not only with facial tissue, but lol roll, as well. I don't know what the dementia thing with paper products is, but it is definitely a thing.
My mother has obsessions not only with facial tissue, but lol roll, as well. I don't know what the dementia thing with paper products is, but it is definitely a thing.
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