Partner with dementia, alcohol and falling over

[Badger55]

So upset and angry as my partner who has alzheimers has just come back from having a drink with his friend with a cut on his forehead . I have bathed it and put plasters on it.

This is the second time he has fallen over with this friend at a pub. The last time we ended up in A and E. His friend said he had rung me but was so drunk he phoned someone else.

I am at a loss - he needs his independence but his Donzepil will not work with more than one drink a day and he drinks far more than that. His friend likes drinking but does not have much money whereas my partner buys the drinks. I feel it is an abuse of his friendship as the friend knows he has alzheimers.


His only son lives in Berlin and I am very much on my own in supporting him.

So sad to see this happening.

 

[Grannie G]

I`m at a loss too @Badger55. I`ve no idea how you can control this drinking if your partner has capacity and the wherewithal to go out with friends.

The fact the friend is taking advantage is an abuse of the friendship and of your partner. Perhaps if you suggest to the friend he is taking advantage it might appeal to his better nature, if he has one.

 

[marionq]

The abuse by the friend getting free drinks is not uncommon. I have experience of this with my husband and his layabout distant relative and only a few days ago had a neighbour tell me the same thing with her husband who has dementia and terminal cancer. If you are able to curtail his money then do it but otherwise you have an uphill struggle with parasites.

 

[Grahamstown]

So upset and angry as my partner who has alzheimers has just come back from having a drink with his friend with a cut on his forehead . I have bathed it and put plasters on it.

This is the second time he has fallen over with this friend at a pub. The last time we ended up in A and E. His friend said he had rung me but was so drunk he phoned someone else.

I am at a loss - he needs his independence but his Donzepil will not work with more than one drink a day and he drinks far more than that. His friend likes drinking but does not have much money whereas my partner buys the drinks. I feel it is an abuse of his friendship as the friend knows he has alzheimers.


His only son lives in Berlin and I am very much on my own in supporting him.

So sad to see this happening.

I can sympathise with you immediately because I have been wrestling with this problem since my husband collapsed and was taken into hospital in February, probably caused by alcohol although I wasn’t there, diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and I have struggled ever since with the same donepezil and alcohol don’t mix problem. I have posted about it on TP, and had a lot of help from other members. He still craves alcohol, although I have managed to keep him largely alcohol free for a while now but at the expense of any social life because then I cannot control him from drinking too much. I can’t imagine how you can control his intake when he goes alone with someone else so cannot help there. My husband is deteriorating quite fast and gets anxious and tired very quickly, wants to go to bed early so we rarely go out in the evenings. I have managed to switch him to non alcoholic drinks and quite frankly he doesn’t seem to know the difference because his taste has gone. I guess he doesn’t get that kick that alcohol gives. He has never been a heavy drinker but I think Alzheimer’s disease makes people less tolerant of it. I find posting on TP helps me to cope.
Our local pub lady lady realised what was going on and said that she would call me if I left my mobile number so they have my telephone number and will call me if necessary.

 

[Janie M]

Oh @Badger55 , this is such a hard 1. My OH like to go for a game of snooker with some old friends, while I think 1 of them realises he has a problem, I don’t think they take it seriously. As he’s 1 of 6 siblings, trying to get through to them that he shouldn’t drink I lot, well, it’s easier to put a rocket on the moon!! Just get “ oh he’ll be ok”, but it’s me that has to pick up the pieces. . It’s caused quite a few arguments to say the least. Now I just try to avoid TP many social gatherings. Xx

 

[Janie M]

Oh @Badger55 , this is such a hard 1. My OH like to go for a game of snooker with some old friends, while I think 1 of them realises he has a problem, I don’t think they take it seriously. As he’s 1 of 6 siblings, trying to get through to them that he shouldn’t drink I lot, well, it’s easier to put a rocket on the moon!! Just get “ oh he’ll be ok”, but it’s me that has to pick up the pieces. . It’s caused quite a few arguments to say the least. Now I just try to avoid too many social gatherings. Xx