I have been caring for my elderly mother with Dementia for the past 5 years. She lives in private sheltered accommodation. A Carer or myself visit 3 x daily to see that she is okay and I take her out for lots of outings and drives. The lady who lives opposite my Mother also suffers from Dementia but sadly does not seem to get much support from her family. The lady opposite has been continually ringing my Mother's doorbell and going into her apartment throughout the day and helping herself to my Mother's food and asking to borrow money etc. We tried putting a "Please do not disturb as resting" sign but this is just ignored so my Mother has her important rests disturbed. My mother is also frail and registered blind.The other lady has also been going into my Mother's apartment after we have put my Mother to bed. We have been so patient and this problem has been going on for about 2 years. When I asked the Manager about this problem she said she would speak to the lady's family but nothing ever changed. She also said my Mum is fine about it all! Sometimes I find the lady drunk in my Mother's apartment and she slept on my Mother's sofa one night. Unfortunately my Mother is very frail and she is also very kind and her good nature is being taken advantage of. We estimate that this lady is costing my Mother around £75 per week in food and "borrowed" money. I feel very sorry for the other lady as she has very little contact or visits from her family. She definitely meeds support and help. I am wondering in the absence of any support from the Manager what are my Mother's rights?
91 Year Old Mother With Dementia.
- Thread starter Chamois
- Start date
Welcome to TP, Chamois. I'm sorry for your mum's problem and the worry it is causing you.
I live in extra care housing and the manager has recently underlined the need to safeguard vulnerable adults in the scheme after a couple of incidents, which were down to a misunderstanding and not quite as serious. You need to underline to the manager of your mum's scheme that she has a duty of care to her tenants and your mum is vulnerable. If the manager still won't intervene then you should speak to social services and try to get your mum into a safer environment.
I live in extra care housing and the manager has recently underlined the need to safeguard vulnerable adults in the scheme after a couple of incidents, which were down to a misunderstanding and not quite as serious. You need to underline to the manager of your mum's scheme that she has a duty of care to her tenants and your mum is vulnerable. If the manager still won't intervene then you should speak to social services and try to get your mum into a safer environment.
Thank you for your wise words and you are absolutely right the Manager should have a Duty of Care to all the residents. She is relatively new and is ex army with no social care experience whatsoever. The previous Manager was very good and I am confident she would have helped with the current situation. I am feeling that my Mother is not really safe at the sheltered housing anymore.
Perhaps I should be looking at full time residential care for my Mother?
Perhaps I should be looking at full time residential care for my Mother?
Hi @Chamois and I’m sorry to hear about this problem.
I can see why you’re considering moving your mum but it seems a pity she should have the upheaval (unless of course you feel she does need residential care.)
In any case this would not solve the problem in the sheltered housing scheme as a whole. Does the manager have a line manager you could contact to have a joint meeting to discuss the problem? If not, or if they are not helpful, I would contact social services. This is after all a safeguarding issue for your mum, who needs safety and security in her own home.
Good luck
Lindy xx
I can see why you’re considering moving your mum but it seems a pity she should have the upheaval (unless of course you feel she does need residential care.)
In any case this would not solve the problem in the sheltered housing scheme as a whole. Does the manager have a line manager you could contact to have a joint meeting to discuss the problem? If not, or if they are not helpful, I would contact social services. This is after all a safeguarding issue for your mum, who needs safety and security in her own home.
Good luck
Lindy xx
