Minimising stress

sue_1

Registered User
Mar 29, 2017
91
0
Bristol
as you all know looking after someone with dementia and any other illnesses causes you a lot of stress but, sometimes I feel that the people who is supposed to be trained, or when trying to make appointments, or when appointment has been made they phone to change that appointment causes more stress than the PWD. Argggggg .....lol. I have been trying to minimise my stress levels but with no luck, how do you all cope with stress ?
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,534
0
N Ireland
I deal with stress by exercising hard for as long as I can most days. I have had to adapt what I do to accommodate my wife’s dementia but I manage quite well most days. If I didn’t do that I’d be a quivering heap in some corner!
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
My stress follows no pattern but I have days when I decide I’m at the end of the road as my life is making no sense. Because John is now less mobile and more frail he is less likely to attempt to wander which was the main issue for years. I now have to assess if I can safely head out for a walk and leave him on his own for an hour to reduce my stress. Haven’t tried it yet but I think I must as I can’t go on like this indefinitely.
 

witts1973

Registered User
Jun 20, 2018
731
0
Leamington Spa
When I can pop out I enjoy having a good chat with people in the shops,it makes me feel as if I have a little piece of life that belongs to me,I also like to have a little power nap for 15-20 mins to recharge,also tinkering on my pc helps me switch off for a short while
 

try again

Registered User
Jun 21, 2018
1,308
0
well my stress as gone, the bottle is finished - though i must admit to feeling a bit queasy. An early night is called for methinks.....bot don't knock it - it works!
 

Mrs Nobby

New member
Nov 23, 2018
3
0
as you all know looking after someone with dementia and any other illnesses causes you a lot of stress but, sometimes I feel that the people who is supposed to be trained, or when trying to make appointments, or when appointment has been made they phone to change that appointment causes more stress than the PWD. Argggggg .....lol. I have been trying to minimise my stress levels but with no luck, how do you all cope with stress ?
Dear Sue

When I feel low, I make a concerted effort to look after myself - eat right, sleep (if I can) and exercise. As I type this, I have just consumed two large gin and tonics after a bit of bad news about my mum who has dementia, but, it's OK to have a mini relapse, as long as you try to get straight afterwards! Seriously, you need to keep well, stay strong. Are you an animal lover by chance? I am, and the company of furry critters never ceases to soothe my soul. I have a horse and he keeps me sane. I am not suggesting for one minute you buy a horse, but just sharing what works for me. Also sharing with good friends and those on this forum. The wisdom and kindness of the people here is amazing and comforting. You are not alone. Take care, Mrs Nobby
 

witts1973

Registered User
Jun 20, 2018
731
0
Leamington Spa
I don't know how we would cope without our two cats (even though mum is under the impression that they steal her things such as cardigans, shoes etc). I know it wouldn't work for everyone but they are great stress relievers for us both. And the idea of a cat walking off, dragging items of clothing in its mouth does make me chuckle a bit!

Our cat makes mum laugh,when I feed my mum and myself at the same time,we have 2 dinner plates on a tray on the side of her bed and our cat stands on his back legs and puts his head over the side of her hospital bed to watch us,he often pops up for a sleep with her too,mum does manage to shout at him when he's naughty and scratching the chairs as he's a rascal but she loves him
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
Well I tried a new tactic this morning and feel the better for it. I have not left my husband on his own with his sister since his Alzheimer's got really serious. She is 83 to his 85 and is profoundly deaf and cannot talk. Other than that she's fit as a fiddle but I had no confidence in her dealing with an emergency. She usually makes a difficult situation worse!

Anyway I'm getting ratty at the weekends without a break so I arranged for her to sit with him while I went out to do a few errands. Left them sitting at the kitchen table with tea and biscuits. Came back an hour and a half later and they hadnt moved an inch! Hallelujah! I'll do the same next Saturday. What a difference a wee bit of freedom makes.
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,911
0
as you all know looking after someone with dementia and any other illnesses causes you a lot of stress but, sometimes I feel that the people who is supposed to be trained, or when trying to make appointments, or when appointment has been made they phone to change that appointment causes more stress than the PWD. Argggggg .....lol. I have been trying to minimise my stress levels but with no luck, how do you all cope with stress ?

So agree, I spent Two and a half hours trying to sort out a matter on phone. Such an effort, no solution either!
Well I tried a new tactic this morning and feel the better for it. I have not left my husband on his own with his sister since his Alzheimer's got really serious. She is 83 to his 85 and is profoundly deaf and cannot talk. Other than that she's fit as a fiddle but I had no confidence in her dealing with an emergency. She usually makes a difficult situation worse!

Anyway I'm getting ratty at the weekends without a break so I arranged for her to sit with him while I went out to do a few errands. Left them sitting at the kitchen table with tea and biscuits. Came back an hour and a half later and they hadnt moved an inch! Hallelujah! I'll do the same next Saturday. What a difference a wee bit of freedom makes.
Well I tried a new tactic this morning and feel the better for it. I have not left my husband on his own with his sister since his Alzheimer's got really serious. She is 83 to his 85 and is profoundly deaf and cannot talk. Other than that she's fit as a fiddle but I had no confidence in her dealing with an emergency. She usually makes a difficult situation worse!

Anyway I'm getting ratty at the weekends without a break so I arranged for her to sit with him while I went out to do a few errands. Left them sitting at the kitchen table with tea and biscuits. Came back an hour and a half later and they hadnt moved an inch! Hallelujah! I'll do the same next Saturday. What a difference a wee bit of freedom makes.

What did you put in the tea? :) Can I have some?
 

Elle3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2016
705
0
I was getting extremely stressed taking care of my dad, I was trying to do everything as well as keep control of him (which was nigh on impossible). It took me breaking my wrist and not being able to drive to take a step back and look at the situation with new eyes. I realised that dad could still cope on his own (yes I didn't like what he was doing) but to him it didn't matter. He might not have been eating at the right time or the right food, but he was eating, he also wasn't changing his clothes or washing as much as I would have liked him to, but that also didn't matter. For 8 weeks I had to satisfy myself with only seeing him 3 times a week, he survived and to be honest he was none the wiser that anything was different.

When my wrist was better, I decided to just go with the flow and not let the little things bother me and turn into big things, I stopped planning and trying to control everything (I am a terrible control freak). So instead I would take a deep breath and just accept that it was just how things are.

I also joined a leisure centre and started going swimming and the gym (in order to help my wrist gain strength and de-stress, Dr's suggestion) Making that time for me early in the morning, before going to visit dad, really helped me. I also have some very good friends who were very supportive and were happy to lend an ear.
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
5,064
0
I'm so glad you managed to come to terms things and turn things round a bit. It's a Very difficult thing to do so "Well done"
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
E381F3E9-18E2-47E9-86CA-21AF6C578550.jpeg
This is how my 51 year old daughter destresses.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
Kay's main sport is cycling @Sue-1 but since her recent divorce she has tackled lots of other regimes. She looks fantastic and says she's never felt fitter in her life. Must be something in it.
 

Feistywoman

Registered User
Aug 11, 2018
108
0
I’m a yoga gal too, only manage two classes a week. Tell a white lie on a Monday that I can’t go to visit my mum as I’m working late and hope for one less accusation. My hubby goes in my place, she prefers him to me just now.