Hi
@Upset and tired,
Having caught up with this thread, and your dreadful situation, I just wanted to add my support.
Siblings can be so very hurtful and manipulative, and we need to remind ourselves that we have not behaved in a way which has taken advantage of our parents, actually far from it.
Although my circumstances are different, with both parents in a CH, the situation with my sibling is similar in many respects. Having been the one responsible for their care throughout, I have been accused of manipulation over a gift of money and sibling would often say to me that my father wasn't happy about it, although that was never said to me direct, and the straw that broke the camel's back was when sibling tried to openly goad my father into telling me. We have joint POA but I have by default looked after the finances as there has been no interest shown in sibling managing this, other than being difficult! I have been asked what written evidence exists, and also if I ever came across a copy of their wills.
I have felt bullied and threatened, with the implication that I have done something wrong. I've concluded that I cannot change someone else's behaviour and my way of dealing with it is to accept that and minimise contact to protect my own wellbeing.
I think you have done the right thing to involve a solicitor as an intermediary so you can minimise direct contact. So sorry you are going through this. It does make you evaluate what's really important doesn't it? Take Care, Georgina x