Denial of wetting bed, won't accept distraction

[nae sporran]

The second day in a row of wetting the bed. Yesterday I tried to get a urine sample, no luck. Today I suggested it and she just denied it was her who wet the bed. I could offer no other answer, and tried to reassure while promising a dry bed as soon as I can get to the laundry room. She does not accept that and does not want breakfast, it seems to be my fault she had a wet bed, even though I was in the shower after she got up to go to the toilet barely a couple of hours ago now. That was why it is my fault. She takes the pull up pads off and normally it does not matter, but she must have a UTI, its just so hard to get a sample and even then we have submitted them in the past with no diagnosis.
Help, advice and offers a good beer in the afternoon are welcome as ever.

 

[karaokePete]

Thank goodness I have only had to deal with this one time so far. When it happened I was yelled at in a very nasty way and think it was because of embarrassment on my wife's part.

When the dust settles would she accept a suggestion that you both might have a 'chill on the kidneys' and should both be checked for an infection? It's the only thing I can think of.

 

[nae sporran]

A chill on the kidney, that may work. Thanks @karaokePete.

 

[marionq]

My husband denies everything too so I guess it is the default position for dementia. He can be standing there soaked to the skin saying " Well I don't know how this happened". I suppose that is true.

 

[la lucia]

The second day in a row of wetting the bed. Yesterday I tried to get a urine sample, no luck. Today I suggested it and she just denied it was her who wet the bed. I could offer no other answer, and tried to reassure while promising a dry bed as soon as I can get to the laundry room. She does not accept that and does not want breakfast, it seems to be my fault she had a wet bed, even though I was in the shower after she got up to go to the toilet barely a couple of hours ago now. That was why it is my fault. She takes the pull up pads off and normally it does not matter, but she must have a UTI, its just so hard to get a sample and even then we have submitted them in the past with no diagnosis.
Help, advice and offers a good beer in the afternoon are welcome as ever.

I have a regular response to any medical person who asks for a urine sample from my mother: "sure, if you want to come and do it yourself because otherwise it's impossible."

Amazingly, all requests for urine samples cease.

My mother's GP always tells me to list the reasons that I suspect a UTI eg strong smell; behavioural changes, etc.,

He then will make an educated guess and prescribe or not. If the symptoms continue he does a quick blood test for signs of infection and kidney function etc., It's worked so far.

The GP practice in general doesn't really trust urine samples from incontinent people because they are so easily contaminated. If it can be obtained via a disposable toilet pot that's a different matter.

 

[nae sporran]

I have a regular response to any medical person who asks for a urine sample from my mother: "sure, if you want to come and do it yourself because otherwise it's impossible."

Amazingly, all requests for urine samples cease.

My mother's GP always tells me to list the reasons that I suspect a UTI eg strong smell; behavioural changes, etc.,

He then will make an educated guess and prescribe or not. If the symptoms continue he does a quick blood test for signs of infection and kidney function etc., It's worked so far.

The GP practice in general doesn't really trust urine samples from incontinent people because they are so easily contaminated. If it can be obtained via a disposable toilet pot that's a different matter.

That's something I've never tried, thank you la lucia.

 

[Izzy]

I had the same experience in relation to both my husband and my mother. Their GPs trusted my description of the symptoms and prescribed ABs if they thought necessary.

 

[sue_1]

I do feel for you nae sporran my mum is having accidents every night and often throughout the day I suggest using pull ups but mum took offence to this it came to the point that she was being nasty to me every time it happened but I think it was embarrassment, thank fully the financial assessor suggested pull ups and mum is reluctantly wearing them but I still get the “nasty piece of work, evil little b***h etc every morning, I just put the blame on the assessor in the hope she will calm down. I am also trying to get a urine sample from mum but that just seems to be an impossible task at the moment.

 

[nae sporran]

Thanks @Izzy, and sorry @marionq and @sue_1 that you are struggling with the same problem.

 

[Shedrech]

hi @nae sporran
with my dad I took to taking the blame, aplogising for everything, and finding a way to 'explain' any accident which came back to me - that way he saved face and could at times feel he was helping me out of a mess I'd made

eg the bed's wet because silly me spilt my tea all over it and I am so sorry that I forgot to say don't sit down so your pjs are a bit wet now, I know it's a nuisance, shall we get changed then have breakfast ...... and not mention the bedsheets, just bundle them out of sight and deal with them when dad wasn't looking

I did worry that he may start to distrust me for making so many mistakes but I made light of it all as much as I could and he didn't seem to bother

 

[nae sporran]

That was what I should have done, thank @Shedrech. The surgery are not answering their phones today, so not had a chance to talk to nurse or doctor, but it all seems to have been forgotten while C had her cakes with her friend from the agency. I shall ask the care enabler, that seems to be the official title, to try for a sample tomorrow or try again to speak to surgery.