Please don't throw me away, breaking my promise
- Thread starter kindred
- Start date
Hi Kindred hope you feel better soon, I've been trying to pluck up the courage to go for my flu jab as I am a bit of a coward when it comes to needles but I will go as I can't afford to be ill, as for OH he will refuse to have his, the last time he went for a blood test he screamed the place down. Take care Lx
That's it, guys, I will never ever have a flu jab again. Thank you for all your loving and kind messages, so appreciated.
Am still pretty ill, it is actually like a small dose of dementia, problems standing, sequencing, remembering ... grim.
BUT did get to Keith's home today and the welcome, oh the loving welcome from residents and nurses. And Keith not yet down so made a big fuss when he arrived in his wheelchair and he put his arms out for me. Then once he was in his chair he started to sing this song which I didn't recognise, it was as though it was from far far away, but it was a complete and beautiful song.
AND THEN we had THE GREAT TOOTH HUNT because one of the residents cracked the crown on his tooth and it came out with the tooth but where did it go??? Not a good one for someone who is ill and has a bad hip, but I joined in looking under chairs etc. One of the activity nurses did manage to find it, thank goodness, so that's all cleaned and wrapped up waiting for the dentist.
Sung yellow submarine to all, and one of the residents said she would like to see the film, the red shoes. But none of us could remember who was in it. Must look it up.
More halloween decorations are creeping in and we are threatened with a small party next week ...
Sat down next to Keith for a little while after all the tooth excitement and he leaned close to me and said, Are you all right, fruit? He had obviously sensed I was not really myself. So I told him about the flu jab and he nodded and said, well I don't know what he said because I didn't catch or understand it, but I felt the warmth.
One day, well now perhaps, I will see this as one of the most poignantly loving times of our lives.
Thanks guys, I will be myself again very soon, I sincerely hope. Has any of this happened to you with flu jabs??? Geraldinewithlove xxxx
Am still pretty ill, it is actually like a small dose of dementia, problems standing, sequencing, remembering ... grim.
BUT did get to Keith's home today and the welcome, oh the loving welcome from residents and nurses. And Keith not yet down so made a big fuss when he arrived in his wheelchair and he put his arms out for me. Then once he was in his chair he started to sing this song which I didn't recognise, it was as though it was from far far away, but it was a complete and beautiful song.
AND THEN we had THE GREAT TOOTH HUNT because one of the residents cracked the crown on his tooth and it came out with the tooth but where did it go??? Not a good one for someone who is ill and has a bad hip, but I joined in looking under chairs etc. One of the activity nurses did manage to find it, thank goodness, so that's all cleaned and wrapped up waiting for the dentist.
Sung yellow submarine to all, and one of the residents said she would like to see the film, the red shoes. But none of us could remember who was in it. Must look it up.
More halloween decorations are creeping in and we are threatened with a small party next week ...
Sat down next to Keith for a little while after all the tooth excitement and he leaned close to me and said, Are you all right, fruit? He had obviously sensed I was not really myself. So I told him about the flu jab and he nodded and said, well I don't know what he said because I didn't catch or understand it, but I felt the warmth.
One day, well now perhaps, I will see this as one of the most poignantly loving times of our lives.
Thanks guys, I will be myself again very soon, I sincerely hope. Has any of this happened to you with flu jabs??? Geraldinewithlove xxxx
Well, this is it. Can't afford to be ill. I think that my reaction is unusual, and it happened last year. You take care, too and thank you. Gxx
Thank you, and apparently they do differ. The over 65s which I had is by a long way the strongest. Glad you are fine!
warmest, thank you. Geraldinexxx
Moira Shearer was in Red Shoes with I believe Robert Helpman. I was staying with an aunt and a Friday night cinema trip was a real treat.
Re. Flu Jabs.
We have both had the over 65 one FLUAD, one strain less but a carrier to make it work better. Last year apparently the flu jab did not work on older people.
We have had no side affects at at all, not even a bump and itchy area as in other years. The film Logan's Run kept coming to mind!
.
I started to wonder whether it has worked at all. We usually have some effect.
As we have a gt. Grandchild on chemo we have no option, I heard the NHS is expecting all staff with contact with patients to have it or be put on back room duties. Unless they have a good reason. Not sure staff levels will allow that.
Our daughter had the normal one and also no side effects.
I did read extra vit. C helps with any injections, so we did try that. Day before, on and after.
A warning, older people do not always present with typical infection symptoms such as a rise in temperature. So odd behaviour, well odder than usual, is what has to be looked out for.
There is a nasty virus doing the rounds in any case.
Get really better soon, Geraldine
Re. Flu Jabs.
We have both had the over 65 one FLUAD, one strain less but a carrier to make it work better. Last year apparently the flu jab did not work on older people.
We have had no side affects at at all, not even a bump and itchy area as in other years. The film Logan's Run kept coming to mind!
.I started to wonder whether it has worked at all. We usually have some effect.
As we have a gt. Grandchild on chemo we have no option, I heard the NHS is expecting all staff with contact with patients to have it or be put on back room duties. Unless they have a good reason. Not sure staff levels will allow that.
Our daughter had the normal one and also no side effects.
I did read extra vit. C helps with any injections, so we did try that. Day before, on and after.
A warning, older people do not always present with typical infection symptoms such as a rise in temperature. So odd behaviour, well odder than usual, is what has to be looked out for.
There is a nasty virus doing the rounds in any case.
Get really better soon, Geraldine
Oh thank you Alice, thank you. Odd behaviour eh? That's rich!!! Logan's Run? Jenny Agguter? Everyone over thirty bumped off? Thank you so much for info about red shoes.Moira Shearer was in Red Shoes with I believe Robert Helpman. I was staying with an aunt and a Friday night cinema trip was a real treat.
Re. Flu Jabs.
We have both had the over 65 one FLUAD, one strain less but a carrier to make it work better. Last year apparently the flu jab did not work on older people.
We have had no side affects at at all, not even a bump and itchy area as in other years. The film Logan's Run kept coming to mind!
I started to wonder whether it has worked at all. We usually have some effect.
As we have a gt. Grandchild on chemo we have no option, I heard the NHS is expecting all staff with contact with patients to have it or be put on back room duties. Unless they have a good reason. Not sure staff levels will allow that.
Our daughter had the normal one and also no side effects.
I did read extra vit. C helps with any injections, so we did try that. Day before, on and after.
A warning, older people do not always present with typical infection symptoms such as a rise in temperature. So odd behaviour, well odder than usual, is what has to be looked out for.
There is a nasty virus doing the rounds in any case.
Get really better soon, Geraldine
sorry to hear about great grandchild on chemo, Alice.
I'm just unlucky I guess with my reaction. Getting better now, I sincerely hope!
love and best, thank you, Geraldinexxxx
When I arrived, Keith said, Oh thank God for YOU and we sung the William Tell Overture together. He then added, I am so glad to see you, you are so very very good.
AND the nurses tell me he was able to walk a few steps this morning!
I didn't realise that this disease could have some, not just respite, but improvement temporarily! AND he has had a flu jab without suffering like me ... Thank you for all your loving messages guys, I'm better now but feel dizzy a lot of the time. But this could be a normal reaction to this modern world.
AND THEN there was a thunderous BANG BANG BANG as one of the residents had taken herself to the toilet and couldn't find her way out. So I went and let her out. We refrained from singing the song ...
When I came back, I found another resident sitting on the napkin I write notes on, so had to start again ...
Fabulous lunch AND Keith even nicked a bit of the watercress I now bring to eat with my sandwiches while I feed him ... Dear oh dear.
As I left, he confided in me that they are putting beer in the washing powder ...
Lovely autumn day, guys, but so very cold here.
Love and best, thank you all. Geraldine aka kindred.xxxx
AND the nurses tell me he was able to walk a few steps this morning!
I didn't realise that this disease could have some, not just respite, but improvement temporarily! AND he has had a flu jab without suffering like me ... Thank you for all your loving messages guys, I'm better now but feel dizzy a lot of the time. But this could be a normal reaction to this modern world.
AND THEN there was a thunderous BANG BANG BANG as one of the residents had taken herself to the toilet and couldn't find her way out. So I went and let her out. We refrained from singing the song ...
When I came back, I found another resident sitting on the napkin I write notes on, so had to start again ...
Fabulous lunch AND Keith even nicked a bit of the watercress I now bring to eat with my sandwiches while I feed him ... Dear oh dear.
As I left, he confided in me that they are putting beer in the washing powder ...
Lovely autumn day, guys, but so very cold here.
Love and best, thank you all. Geraldine aka kindred.xxxx
Do you know, guys, everytime I see that invitation to contact AA about are you suffering from isolation/loneliness, I want to reply, no, just bog standard heartbreak ...
Anyway, bleak, wet and dark here .. BUT my son, wife and grandchildren here and Pete (son) and I went to see Keith who was not yet down, but when he came down, in his wheelchair, he reached out for Pete and gave him a beautiful welcome ...
I never forget the impact on Pete of seeing his beloved dad like this, and I stay as strong and cheerful as I can, and engage him with talking to Keith and we sang RAWHIDE together. I had brought the words.
After Pete had gone, Keith confided in me that there's intelligent life here ... and then a resident shouted that if she did not have her dinner in 8 minutes, she would die of hunger ...
Sang with other residents, talked to them individually. As activity nurses not here at weekends, there's scope for this. And another family member is being a volunteer, he said he is trying to copy what I do, and that is lovely because it makes another man to talk to the men. If that sounds sexist, I really don't care!!!
Eventually, I said goodbye to Keith and he replied, hello sweetheart.
And that reminded me that back in the day, I worked in Civil Service headquarters in London for a boss who, on full moon, would answer his phone with, Goodbye, Fricker here ...
Back on Monday guys, thank you so much for being with me ... so appreciated. Love and best, Geraldinexxx
Anyway, bleak, wet and dark here .. BUT my son, wife and grandchildren here and Pete (son) and I went to see Keith who was not yet down, but when he came down, in his wheelchair, he reached out for Pete and gave him a beautiful welcome ...
I never forget the impact on Pete of seeing his beloved dad like this, and I stay as strong and cheerful as I can, and engage him with talking to Keith and we sang RAWHIDE together. I had brought the words.
After Pete had gone, Keith confided in me that there's intelligent life here ... and then a resident shouted that if she did not have her dinner in 8 minutes, she would die of hunger ...
Sang with other residents, talked to them individually. As activity nurses not here at weekends, there's scope for this. And another family member is being a volunteer, he said he is trying to copy what I do, and that is lovely because it makes another man to talk to the men. If that sounds sexist, I really don't care!!!
Eventually, I said goodbye to Keith and he replied, hello sweetheart.
And that reminded me that back in the day, I worked in Civil Service headquarters in London for a boss who, on full moon, would answer his phone with, Goodbye, Fricker here ...
Back on Monday guys, thank you so much for being with me ... so appreciated. Love and best, Geraldinexxx
In I go after work, expecting Keith to be asleep but no, he is wide awake and tells me I am looking very beautiful. (??!! not after the morning I've had, but still ...). He then sings what sounds like Lara's theme from Dr Zhivago. So I take it from there and sing the song and there is a gentle chorus of residents joining in. I must get the words (??somewhere my love??) and sing it properly, it's very beautiful.
Hairdressing day again with the usual no I won't, yes I will carryings on ... and then we all sit down with tea and cake and discuss Brexit and waxing, female and male. I know, amazing the variety of topics we get through ...
Sun was beautiful in the residents area, and tomorrow we have a halloween party ... that should be interesting.
As I left, Keith said to me, you've changed you know, you really have. It's not a criticism. I did not ask him how I've changed, but of course I'm more confident and mouthy now that I am not imprisoned by being his sole carer. I just hope I'm still giving as much, if you see what I mean.
Thanks, guys, welcome back. Love it that you are with me. I wonder if the budget will give billions to social care, help us all out a bit ... Geraldinexxxxx
Hairdressing day again with the usual no I won't, yes I will carryings on ... and then we all sit down with tea and cake and discuss Brexit and waxing, female and male. I know, amazing the variety of topics we get through ...
Sun was beautiful in the residents area, and tomorrow we have a halloween party ... that should be interesting.
As I left, Keith said to me, you've changed you know, you really have. It's not a criticism. I did not ask him how I've changed, but of course I'm more confident and mouthy now that I am not imprisoned by being his sole carer. I just hope I'm still giving as much, if you see what I mean.
Thanks, guys, welcome back. Love it that you are with me. I wonder if the budget will give billions to social care, help us all out a bit ... Geraldinexxxxx
Hi @kindred - glad you had a good visit.
The more I read your posts, I just get the impression that Keith knows. He knows you and he has all the feelings that you hope he still has, he just cannot always express things. I'm so sure it's there just under the surface.
Meant to visit Mum today (she's been acting up big time recently) - but I woke with a nasty vertigo attack .... so I've literally been all over the place today, like a drunken sailor (cue for song!) Daughter did her usual Saturday visit and Mum said she couldn't walk around or leave her room as she 'felt so EGGY'? Any ideas?
Keep warm XX
The more I read your posts, I just get the impression that Keith knows. He knows you and he has all the feelings that you hope he still has, he just cannot always express things. I'm so sure it's there just under the surface.
Meant to visit Mum today (she's been acting up big time recently) - but I woke with a nasty vertigo attack .... so I've literally been all over the place today, like a drunken sailor (cue for song!) Daughter did her usual Saturday visit and Mum said she couldn't walk around or leave her room as she 'felt so EGGY'? Any ideas?
Keep warm XX
Sweetheart, I am so sorry about the vertigo. Eggy??? Yukky?
Thank you so much for your lovely words about Keith, oh I believe this, so good that you do too. all my love, Geraldinexxxxx
Never in a million years, guys, could you imagine a halloween party such as just taken place.
Well visit started much as usual with keith being pushed down a bit late and telling me he was sorry but he had had to go to Liverpool ...
Anyway, after lunch the party, balloons, spiders, nurses dressed as witches, a halloween feast, kind of controlled chaos and fun. Family members of residents who were visiting stayed to help and enjoy and sing and make noises.
Oh wow!!! Absolutely fantastic, what an atmosphere.
When I left, Keith fast asleep, tired out I think. He looked so lovely as usual again today. Such a boy, unlined and beautiful.
Tomorrow I have to do extra hours at work so I will not visit. One of the activity nurses said she will spend ages with him and I can phone or e mail her. so I will.
Please, please check in with me again on Thursday.
I wonder what the christmas party is going to be like ... planning has begun!!
all my love and best, Geraldine, thanks guys.xxxxx
Well visit started much as usual with keith being pushed down a bit late and telling me he was sorry but he had had to go to Liverpool ...
Anyway, after lunch the party, balloons, spiders, nurses dressed as witches, a halloween feast, kind of controlled chaos and fun. Family members of residents who were visiting stayed to help and enjoy and sing and make noises.
Oh wow!!! Absolutely fantastic, what an atmosphere.
When I left, Keith fast asleep, tired out I think. He looked so lovely as usual again today. Such a boy, unlined and beautiful.
Tomorrow I have to do extra hours at work so I will not visit. One of the activity nurses said she will spend ages with him and I can phone or e mail her. so I will.
Please, please check in with me again on Thursday.
I wonder what the christmas party is going to be like ... planning has begun!!
all my love and best, Geraldine, thanks guys.xxxxx
Hi Geraldine,
What a lovely Halloween party you all had today. It sounds as though the staff and visitors are brilliant company for all the residents. You make your visits come alive. I’m sure there are so many of us on here that would like to visit with you and meet Keith and his fellow residents.
When the time comes I hope that I can find a wondrous care home like you have... or is it your input that makes it so happy, interesting and infectious.
With much love, Barbara xx
Thank you so much, Barbara. That is a very interesting question. I think that I am reacting to an atmosphere of love and total acceptance that I find there. I walk into the home and can be completely myself. Other families and friends of residents feel the same and so they stay and help/join in and of course that hugely raises energy levels as well as morale. I have seen people being shown around, folk who are what you might say a bit stiff and formal, almost recoil from the creative fun being had, and other families of prospective residents actually join in there and then, start singing with us and clapping.
I was terrified of having to look around homes. I did it several times while Keith was still with me, prospecting for respite, before I realised that if Keith went to respite he would lose the tight framework that enabled him to stay at home. One of the other homes was terrific, creative, the lot but would not have been able to cope with someone with the profound disabilities Keith now has. The hospital social worker helped me, she said, here's a map, put a dot on where you live and we'll draw a circle around walking distance. And of course, she had a list of all the places with vacancies and suggested I go and look at Keith's present home. I did, and they took me to their heart at once, and I loved them from the first visit and cups of tea ...
But the whole thing is a very frightening responsibility, even when, as in my case, there was really no choice but to do it. So good to hear from you, thank y ou with all heart. Geraldine.xxxxx
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