Husband getting slower

[Guzelle]

My OH has AD/Alzheimer’s he diagnosed over 2years ago. He is now getting much slower in his walking and thinking skills. He can’t remember where milk,teabags are. Confusing me with other women all the time when we are out . He keeps following other women and I have to chase after him. He has hearing aides and I don’t he asked me if I had mine in this morning. He just seems more confused daily.

Judt wondered if anyone else has experience of this?

 

[karaokePete]

Sounds a bit like my life @Guzelle, right down to the fact that my wife and I are a couple of years post diagnosis.

My wife is now very slow in everything and I find that a bit of a struggle as I rush to get everything done. It gets harder to find things that I can just leave my wife to do by herself as I try to keep her involved with as much as I can.

 

[karaokePete]

Oh, and don’t mention hearing aids!

My wife has double hearing aids that she just about never wears, making communication and her confusion worse. Her answer to this is to continually click hearing aid ads on the computer and fill in her basic details, leaving me to fend off the junk e-mails and phone calls. Last week I even had one sales person say they remembered me when I was explaining the dementia aspect .

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

My OH is so slow. He blames it on our old dog, but we don’t always take her out. I end up walking in front of him sometimes as I just can’t walk that slow. I have tried to get Home to take a stick, but he sees that as an affront to his age. He also falls asleep more during the day, despite sleeping well, now that he takes Mirazapine at night.

 

[Duggies-girl]

My OH is so slow. He blames it on our old dog, but we don’t always take her out. I end up walking in front of him sometimes as I just can’t walk that slow. I have tried to get Home to take a stick, but he sees that as an affront to his age. He also falls asleep more during the day, despite sleeping well, now that he takes Mirazapine at night.

My dad walks behind me however much I slow down. I think he likes to keep me in front so he doesn't lose me. I feel like a snail.

 

[LynneMcV]

Hi @Guzelle , your post brought back memories of how my husband was.

Slowing down is sadly part and parcel of the disease as it progresses, and in the earlier stages, my husband also needed guidance in making tea etc. Eventually we reached a stage where he was unable to do these things, even with guidance.

The bit that really struck a chord with me was your mention of how your husband will follow other women. My husband started to do this too - but only in busy locations such as supermarkets. I had to retrieve him from accidentally following other females several times.

These busy locations can be so overwhelming for someone with dementia, with so much information to process. I believe my husband knew he was out shopping with me but in those moments of extreme confusion he just looked for a woman with a shopping trolley without understanding that it wasn't me. Fortunately, I never came across anyone who acted badly to the situation after being followed, but it was definitely alarming for me the first few times it happened.

I found that it was best to have my husband push the trolley, while I pulled it from the front. He seldom let go of the trolley and that kept us together. In other busy locations such as high streets, garden centres, parks I found that holding my husband's hand was the only way to stop him following the wrong person. Thankfully, he was quite happy to hold hands whenever we were out and about.

I wish you well, and do keep posting - there will always be people who have gone through the same or similar situations, and who are happy to share their experiences.

 

[Roseleigh]

My OH also diagnosed just over two years ago and recently noticeably more confused , when I talk to him, usually about our adult children, he appears to be engaged and to understand, then often comes out with a nonsense question which suggests he has got quite the wrong end of the stick. I dont know if its failure to understand or failure to express himself, but sometimes I just cannot be bothered telling him stuff. I try to keep him up to date with bits of positive news, but my efforts to engage are falling back due to lack of valid responses, or indeed any.

 

[sqeaker]

My OH has AD/Alzheimer’s he diagnosed over 2years ago. He is now getting much slower in his walking and thinking skills. He can’t remember where milk,teabags are. Confusing me with other women all the time when we are out . He keeps following other women and I have to chase after him. He has hearing aides and I don’t he asked me if I had mine in this morning. He just seems more confused daily.

Judt wondered if anyone else has experience of this?

my husband has been getting slower walking and getting uo from the chair and generally

 

[Guzelle]

I wrote in October about OH slowing down well he seems even more slow now! He always walks behind me so he can follow me! He never knows where to go in town and can’t remember what we have done yesterday!He wants to go out but if we are in company he then wants to come home as he can’t keep up with conversations. I can’t do anything right. I never teAch him properly. He made porridge with a teabag the other day, he didn’t eat it as he said it was horrible! It gets harder to keep him entertained as he doesn’t seem to like anything. I take him to dementia friendly activities but he just complains about everyone there and what we are doing .

 

[RosettaT]

Horrible isn't it. My husband was diagnosed 2yr ago and he has slowed considerably over the last 3 months. Sometimes he can make tea others he can't find the fridge. To make things worse his arthritis has spread to his knees and ankles. It took 1.5hrs yesterday to get him out of bed. Once up and about he was better so I think it's being in one position over night that makes it worse as he never turns over these days. He's sleeping a lot too during the day. However he does seem happy and content and if he is in good spirits then it makes my day bearable.

 

[dancer12]

Hi All:

Unfortunately it all sounds so familiar..

 

[Duggies-girl]

Yes, dad completely unable to write his Christmas cards out this morning unless I dictated them to him. Too many for that so I did them for him.

He also sticks to walking behind me if we are out. Doesn't matter how much I slow down. I have tried slowing down and then slipping back next to him but he immediately slips back behind me again.

 

[Baggybreeks]

Yes very familiar. I used to walk holding hands or tucking my arm through his. One day going to the doctor a lady commented on how lovely it was to see us holding hands. Little did she know that my husband would get lost if I didn’t, but it made me smile.
Now 5 years since diagnosis, he sleeps almost all day in the care home where he has been for nearly 2 years. I wish he could walk and talk, but I know I have to keep going along this route.
I still talk to him about the family and friends even though there’s hardly any response. Something may still connect as he might give a sigh or slight smile. It’s worth persevering even if it’s exasperating.
Teepa Snow, an American Dementia Occupational Therapist, has a very good site on google, where she talks about the various stages of dementia being like a box of gemstones. My husband is like the last one which is an oyster shell with a pearl inside . Quite a comfort to think some elements are still intact, but is a struggle, whatever stage you are at.
I’m sorry but it is not going to get better.
Good luck and roll with it, you will only end up exhausted if you try to control him.
And then you feel guilty, but you are not.

 

[PalSal]

My husband has always been strong and healthy , but I think some of you have read my post about our last trip to the high mountains this year. I feared we would not be able to reach our destination by the route I had selected. It was quite scary. I always think of my OH being much fitter than I am. But the truth is the disease now effects his balance. He holds his arms bent at the elbow now and keeps his hands in balls in front of himmself. Why did I not see this before we went to the mountains? but I did not. Now I notice everyday these slight changes in his mobility.