Dad's Dragonfly

[jks]

It is 6 months since my beloved Dad died. His death was peaceful, dignified and timely, I have nothing but praise for the way he was looked after in the final week before his death. I would not change a thing. (Except him having Alzheimers in the first place, obviously).

Yesterday, Mum and I took the 250 mile round trip to visit his grave, now that the headstone is complete. This is an accomplishment in itself, as Mum has a bladder the size of a peanut, and we spend as much time in the service stations as on the motorway. She is in a wheelchair, too, which complicates things further. Anyway, we did it, the sun shone, and the new gravestone looked lovely.

As we drove down, we pondered over whether Dad would send us a 'sign' to let us know that he approved of his inscription, liked his flowers, just something to say he knew we were there.

We arrived, arranged the flowers, chatted to him about things, and finally told him we were ready to go now. At that moment, a large dragonfly appeared, and settled on Mums shoulder. It rested there in the sun for several minutes, sunning itself, before soaring away.

Dad sent that dragonfly. I know he did.

Mum and I have both derived great happiness of from this small event. Mum wanted photos of the grave, which I have printed out and put with her photos of the flowers and wreaths from when he died....and now, in the album, we also have a photo of Dad's dragonfly.

jks
x

 

[christine_batch]

Dear jks,

Thank you for sharing that with us.

Over the years I have actually seen butterflies and sometimes white feather.

Coincidence ? Or just something that comes from somewhere when we are grieving?

I have always thought it is the later and if that gives comfort so be it.

Best wishes
Christine

 

[Skye]

Dear jks

I'm sure your dad sent that dragonfly. and how lovely that you were able to get a photograph. I'm sure you and your mum will look at it lots.

I'm glad you managed to make the journey with your mum, I'm sure it must have been comforting for her.

Love,

 

[Canadian Joanne]

That sounds lovely. Please post that picture of the dragonfly for us. It would be so nice to see.

 

[jks]

I don't know how to add a pic....but there's a first time for everything.......

 

[JPG1]

That looks like one very comfortable - and comforting - dragonfly!

A lovely photo and a lovely memory.

JG

 

[Skye]

Fabulous pic, jks. (And well done for resizing and posting!)

It's a beautiful dragonfly.

Love,

 

[jks]

Aww thank you! (Bit bigger than I intended)
I still have a warm and fuzzy feeling from yesterday. Bit like Mum's jumper.

jks
x

 

[Taffy]

Dad sent that dragonfly. I know he did.

Hi jks,

What a lovely memory to have and a picture to remind you of the happiness it brought, I'm happy for you. Love Taffy.

 

[Katie Malarkey]

Dear jks,

I truly believe your dad sent that sign to you - what an absolutely beautiful picture and experience for you! (my friends in Canada all believe dragonfly's are sent from lost loved ones, appearing at significant times like yours).

My lovely mam used to say loved one's were 'over the rainbow' when, at a young age I'd ask where they'd gone... After she died, I had just finished clearing her room out in the nursing home, when I came out and right in front of me in the otherwise completely clear blue sky, was a tiny whisp of cloud with a small band of rainbow - I was choked! Then again on the day of her funeral - exactly the same again, appearing in an otherwise clear sky. I believe mam sent those to me, and I think of her whenever I see one.

Love to you jks.

Katie x

 

[jks]

Update - 5 years on

In the early hours of this morning, my Mum passed away.

I have revisited this old thread of mine, written when my Dad died, because I believe that something fantastic took place this afternoon.

I'm very tearful, Mums death is so raw and painful. All I've actually done today is collected her stuff from the hospital and come home. And opened a bottle of wine
Anyway, I was in the kitchen, looked out the window, and.....there is a massive dragonfly swooping round the garden.

I cannot tell you how glad this makes me feel. And I needed to share with someone.

jks
xx

 

[Noorza]

In the early hours of this morning, my Mum passed away.

I have revisited this old thread of mine, written when my Dad died, because I believe that something fantastic took place this afternoon.

I'm very tearful, Mums death is so raw and painful. All I've actually done today is collected her stuff from the hospital and come home. And opened a bottle of wine
Anyway, I was in the kitchen, looked out the window, and.....there is a massive dragonfly swooping round the garden.

I cannot tell you how glad this makes me feel. And I needed to share with someone.

jks
xx

I believe you totally, I believe it was your Dad's way of comforting you and telling you that it was now his turn to look after Mum, and they're together no longer ill but young again.

I have a similar experience. My son fishes and the bailliff at the fishery was teaching him how to get bait from the trees and showed us both a particular berry. The next time I went to Dad's grave it was the only one which had this same berry overhanging it.

It was my Dad's way of showing me he knows my son and is still with us. It's very comforting.

So sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs.

 

[Noorza]

I wonder if you still have that jumper/cardigan. If it were me I think I may just want to have it close to me now.

 

[Dazmum]

My goodness jks, that has given me tingles, I absolutely believe that it is a sign for you. I'm so very sorry to hear about your mum.

I too believe in signs as the first weekend that mum and I had together after he died, we had had a lovely day and were going back to the car when a white feather floated down on us, seemingly out of nowhere, there were no birds around, and like you it made me feel better.

I'm glad the dragonfly has given you comfort and wish you well for the days to come xxx

 

[CollegeGirl]

Wow. That has made me cry. How absolutely wonderful. What a clever dad x

Edit- I'm so sorry, I wrote my reply before reading the whole thread and didn't realise it was an old one. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, and send you my condolences. But my original sentiment still stands, but now it's a double wow. What a wonderful, comforting memory to treasure forever. Take care x

 

[jks]

Thanks everyone.
I feel blessed to have experienced this, and I know, with absolute certainty, that Mum & Dad are reunited.

jks
xxx

 

[Noorza]

Thanks everyone.
I feel blessed to have experienced this, and I know, with absolute certainty, that Mum & Dad are reunited.

jks
xxx

I am so glad you have some comfort at this awful and difficult time.

 

[rajahh]

These posts have given me tingles too.

You were truly blessed to have those signs.

Such a comfort


Jeannette

 

[Edwina1]

Gosh I can so relate to this. My husband had been in care for over 5 years, having been diagnosed with Alzheimers 10 years ago. I went to visit him 5-6 days a week staying 4hrs day. I needed a break so I went to stay with some friends in Poland. The 5 day I was there my son rang to say that husband/dad has passed away in the early hours of the morning. It was a shock as it wasn't expected. That afternoon we were all sitting in the garden (in Poland) and this big dragonfly came and settled on the arm of my chair and I said look at this. He then flew off and within a minute came back and settled on my lap. I had that same feeling, it was Allen coming to say goodbye, I will never forget it. It is a comfort. Although I miss him so much, for him it was his time to go and escape this horrible desease, and it was as if he had waited for me not to be around so I didn't have to experience his end because if I had been there I would only have rushed to the home and my last picture of him would have been dead in his bed whereas my last time with him was hugging and kissing him goodbye, (although he didn't know me as this stage) and saying see you darling when I get back. I know we never want to face this day but for our loved ones they are free and for us wanting to keep them for as long as possible is only us being selfish because their life ended many years ago and they just exist in their shell - for what!

 

[CollegeGirl]

That's beautiful, Edwina. I'm glad you were comforted x