Dad's diagnosis

[Mwbh92]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post so I hope I'm doing this right!

My dad (72) has today received a diagnosis of Alzheimers. I just feel completely overwhelmed. I'm only 26,i feel far too young for this to be happening. My mum and I have known that something wasn't right for a few years (my older brother lives further away and put it all down to normal old age) and it took a year to convince dad to even go to the GP. Now that he has this diagnosis I am feeling unbelievable amounts of guilt. It was me that forced the issue and convinced him to see the doctor, and now I feel like I've brought this misery on everyone. My dad is a stubborn man and I feel like he kept really trying to remember things etc to prove to us nothing was wrong. I'm scared that now he has this diagnosis, he will think there's no point trying to remember because the Alzheimers will make him forget things anyway. I'm terrified that now it's official, he will decline quickly. Currently he's forgetful, irritable sometimes and quite obsessive but he's independent, holds a great conversation and it's very early stages. My parents are handling it so well, already discussing power of attorney and they're so matter so fact I couldn't be prouder of them. I on the other hand haven't really stopped crying. I'm frustrated at myself because I want to be strong for them but it just feels so unfair. Even though deep down we knew, I can't believe it's suddenly real. My parents are genuinely my best friends, I just feel totally heartbroken.

Sorry to waffle, I haven't spoken to anyone other than mum and dad yet so there's a lot to get out I guess.

 

[VerityH]

I don't know what to say to help you really, except that this forum is great for support, and you really shouldn't feel guilty. The fact that your mum and dad are talking about POA etc will mean that when things get worse and decisions have to be made, all the groundwork will have been done and the rest of the family won't be dealing with even more difficult arrangements than are necessary. You are clearly a good and loving son, and should be proud of yourself for caring so much. It is scary though, I'm with you there. I'm a lot older than you, but I find it all very scary.

Keep coming here for support. You'll always find someone who can advise. x

 

[Selinacroft]

Hi , sorry you find yourself dealing with this at such a young age but you really shouldn't feel guilty about getting Dad diagnosed. He probably realised all was not as it should be himself and now he is in the system he has access to help and support. Did the GP prescribe any medication ? In time your dad will probably be referred on to the memory clinic if this has not already happened and he will have access to support and advice on all sorts of things. This website is fantastic for carers and offer a wide range on all aspects of dementia both for patients and their carers so you might want to browse through for something helpful.

 

[canary]

Please dont be guilty, you did not cause your dads dementia and now that he has been diagnosed there will be more help and support for your mum. Having a diagnosis will not cause your dad to progress faster - unfortunately progression is inevitable, but with a diagnosis there are things like singing for the brain, cogs classes etc that can be accessed. I hope your mum is finding out what is available near them as it varies around the country.

Getting POA is important and if he hadnt been diagnosed at this early stage it may have been left until it was too late. It is always better to get a diagnosis early

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Mwbh92, welcome to TP. I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

Don’t feel guilty about pushing for a diagnosis as it’s the right thing to do. A diagnosis will open up access to any available medication and support.

A good place to read up an all the issues of dementia is the publications list and you can find that with this link
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

You can also do a post code search for support services in your area if you follow this link
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

Now that you have found us do keep posting as our members have a combined wealth of knowledge and are very understanding.