help please, Mum locks us and carers out , ideas?

[Denie]

Hi thanks for your replys problem sorted Denie

 

[Jessbow]

key safe outside somewhere? or just keep a key somewhere yourself if you are only next door?

 

[Rosettastone57]

Hi , I'm moving mum next door, the house is rented and has a yale latch and old fashioned lock attached to inside, which i can just tell her there's no key for it. but how do i stop her locking us out has there is only one door. She has done this before . Any help with this will be welcome , I'm tearing my hair out trying to solve this puzzle before she gets here in 2 weeks time. she wont lock herself out has she wears her key around her neck at all times. thanks Denie

I suggest a key safe and don't give her the code to get in only you and the carers have that

 

[john51]

I suggest a key safe and don't give her the code to get in only you and the carers have that

My wife and I have had quite a discussion about your post. We agree that I would be really but really annoyed if I thought someone was having information to get into our house that I didn't have.
My wife asked me if I knew the code to our key safe. I agree I've been told it, but no I can't remember it. I also agree that I've been told where it is, but finding things in the filing cabinet are way beyond me these days.
We've come to the agreement that I would be fine if I was told these things but that I would very quickly forget them. I'm learning to live with my dementia, and do what I can. What I can't I'm learning not to worry about. On good days it doesn't worry me that neighbours and those sent round by the lifeline service can get in. On bad days nothing worries me

 

[Havemercy]

Agree about the key safe. You can buy them quite cheaply from B and Q etc. If mum insists on knowing the number how about a date - e.g. day and month of her birthday ( they need four numbers ). My mother had dementia but she could remember the day and month of her wedding anniversary.

 

[Rosettastone57]

My wife and I have had quite a discussion about your post. We agree that I would be really but really annoyed if I thought someone was having information to get into our house that I didn't have.
My wife asked me if I knew the code to our key safe. I agree I've been told it, but no I can't remember it. I also agree that I've been told where it is, but finding things in the filing cabinet are way beyond me these days.
We've come to the agreement that I would be fine if I was told these things but that I would very quickly forget them. I'm learning to live with my dementia, and do what I can. What I can't I'm learning not to worry about. On good days it doesn't worry me that neighbours and those sent round by the lifeline service can get in. On bad days nothing worries me

The only reason we didn't tell MIL about the code was that if she knew it we couldn't trust her not to remove keys from the safe to stop carers coming in

 

[try again]

Can you not simply change the lock?

 

[Onmyown]

We have whats called a snap lock. Mum can lock. It from inside and the key myself and my brother keep. It's about 70 pounds mum has never needed a key.

 

[Denie]

I suggest a key safe and don't give her the code to get in only you and the carers have that

Hi we have that at present but she locks them out . thanks for reply

My wife and I have had quite a discussion about your post. We agree that I would be really but really annoyed if I thought someone was having information to get into our house that I didn't have.
My wife asked me if I knew the code to our key safe. I agree I've been told it, but no I can't remember it. I also agree that I've been told where it is, but finding things in the filing cabinet are way beyond me these days.
We've come to the agreement that I would be fine if I was told these things but that I would very quickly forget them. I'm learning to live with my dementia, and do what I can. What I can't I'm learning not to worry about. On good days it doesn't worry me that neighbours and those sent round by the lifeline service can get in. On bad days nothing worries me

Hi Mum is alone 200 miles away and they are trying to put her in a home as she keeps locking carers out, she does not like strangers telling her what to do, so we have decided to rent the house next door so she gets company everyday and meals and medication, has the 200 mile (400mile round trip) emergency call outs are taking there toll on my already compermized health , i have rhuematoid arthritis. we have manage for almost a year, being called out up to twice a month. we cannot move to her due to having this house converted to my needs.So has the new house has only one door she cannot lock us out , if she needs emergency care or for other reasons , so please this is hard enough watching a very healthy vibrant lady cry like a little girl because she is lonely and cannot go out because she can no longer find her way home , if you have a better sugestion please comment but dont judge until you know at least some of the facts. Denie

 

[Sirena]

Hi Denie
Do you mean that your mum pushes the latch down on a Yale lock, so even if you/the carers have a key, you cannot use it to get in?

If that is the case I would recommend asking the landlord if you can disable the Yale and then just use the other 'old fashioned' lock, which is I assume is a mortice type? As she keeps a key round her neck, she won't be able to lock you out. With a mortice type lock the only way she could lock you out is to leave the key in the lock on the inside, so you can't use a key on the outside. So as long as you have your own key you should be able to get in.

Would that work or have I misunderstood?

 

[jugglingmum]

Hi Mum is alone 200 miles away and they are trying to put her in a home as she keeps locking carers out, she does not like strangers telling her what to do, so we have decided to rent the house next door so she gets company everyday and meals and medication, has the 200 mile (400mile round trip) emergency call outs are taking there toll on my already compermized health , i have rhuematoid arthritis. we have manage for almost a year, being called out up to twice a month. we cannot move to her due to having this house converted to my needs.So has the new house has only one door she cannot lock us out , if she needs emergency care or for other reasons , so please this is hard enough watching a very healthy vibrant lady cry like a little girl because she is lonely and cannot go out because she can no longer find her way home , if you have a better sugestion please comment but dont judge until you know at least some of the facts. Denie

Please bear in mind that John51 has dementia, and was trying to give you an insight into how he finds things with his dementia. He has eloquently documented his struggles with dementia from pre diagnosis whilst he was working to where he is now, and he was trying to offer some help.

 

[try again]

I fitted a new lock to my mothers door similar to the one in the link as she kept leavinig the key in her side of the door when she locked up for the night. That meaning of course that i could not use my key to get in - no good for an emergency.
https://www.homesecureshop.co.uk/lo...MIoIGE6rXv3QIVzbvtCh1g9QENEAQYASABEgIFQ_D_BwE

 

[john51]

Hi we have that at present but she locks them out . thanks for reply

Hi Mum is alone 200 miles away and they are trying to put her in a home as she keeps locking carers out, she does not like strangers telling her what to do, so we have decided to rent the house next door so she gets company everyday and meals and medication, has the 200 mile (400mile round trip) emergency call outs are taking there toll on my already compermized health , i have rhuematoid arthritis. we have manage for almost a year, being called out up to twice a month. we cannot move to her due to having this house converted to my needs.So has the new house has only one door she cannot lock us out , if she needs emergency care or for other reasons , so please this is hard enough watching a very healthy vibrant lady cry like a little girl because she is lonely and cannot go out because she can no longer find her way home , if you have a better sugestion please comment but dont judge until you know at least some of the facts. Denie

I'm very sorry I caused upset. I didn't judge and didn't mean to

 

[john51]

Please bear in mind that John51 has dementia, and was trying to give you an insight into how he finds things with his dementia. He has eloquently documented his struggles with dementia from pre diagnosis whilst he was working to where he is now, and he was trying to offer some help.

Thank you for understanding. The angry response really has upset me