My husband does very little now - he used always to do the washing up, but now if he tries, he just rinses everything under the tap, even dirty pans, and I have to do it all again or out it in the machine anyway.. He mows the lawn and that's about the only thing he does without being asked. I'm torn because he wants to help but doesn't know how, and nearly all the time its quicker for me to do things myself, although I do think its good to keep him active, using his brain a bit and getting up out of the chair. So, as others have said, its a fine line. Tonight we have to put the bins and recycling out, which he does, but not on his own - he doesn't know what bins (its the same each week), where they are kept, or where to put them, so I have to do it with him. Very frustrating but I put up with it. I only get cross, unfairly, when I am doing housework around him, and he just sits and watches!! I know he cant help it but it is irritating.