If it was just the caring role.....

[secrets]

My partner David has vascular dementia,but also has very little mobility,and is totally bedbound and incontinent,epilepsy,diabeties to name but a few of his ailments,and I care for him 7 days a week,and am happy to do so but...……...its all the other things I have to deal with,finance,business issues,etc which I find so wearing.
a friend and I are gradually ploughing through David's huge office ,and we believe it will take several years to get through all the paper work and documents which are piled up to the ceiling ,and that is no exaggeration,you need to see it to believe it.
We have found dozens of cheques which have never been cashed,and they are years out of date,stocks and shares,and not knowing if any of it is valid today,an envelope full of old £10 notes,and it continues,and this is the things which are tearing me apart.
I am now having to learn many new things as David always took care of finances,and indeed was very clever,but it exhausts me and I dread every new day as it seems to chuck up something else I have to deal with.
David's office was always his domain and I rarely if ever stepped inside the door,and I am totally in shock with what faced me.
I am very house proud,but this office takes clutter to a new level.

 

[marionq]

IT is overwhelming but if you take your time to bring order to it you will have a real sense of achievement. I am never happy to hear that one partner is in total charge of admin and finance because of just the reasons you describe.
One of my daughters has just been through a divorce and I find she has little idea of organising finance and investment n spite of holding a masters degree in business! In a twenty year marriage her husband took total charge.

How infuriating to find cheques which have never been cashed although the old notes should be able to be exchanged at the bank.

 

[secrets]

IT is overwhelming but if you take your time to bring order to it you will have a real sense of achievement. I am never happy to hear that one partner is in total charge of admin and finance because of just the reasons you describe.
One of my daughters has just been through a divorce and I find she has little idea of organising finance and investment n spite of holding a masters degree in business! In a twenty year marriage her husband took total charge.

How infuriating to find cheques which have never been cashed although the old notes should be able to be exchanged at the bank.

Many thanks marionq….it is indeed overwhelming ,but I will get through.

 

[jugglingmum]

Something my colleagues regularly come across at work is a client dying and his wife not having the first clue what the state of their finances are and how to manage them. Not meant to be patronising, but we do try and have one member of staff skilled in 'looking after old dears' who can kindly guide them through the mess - not a service accountants advertise but we do see it as part of the service we ensure is provided, including making sure adult children don't take over it this isn't what the widow wants, so you are not alone, it does happen less now than 20 years ago.

On a practical level

As far as out of date cheques are concerned - if they are for dividends from shares these can be claimed for 12 years after the date of the dividend, although they make take an admin fee - so is worth collating all of them and writing to the registrar for the company with them in one batch (maybe do this quarterly if there is so much in the room).

Other cheques can be requested to be reissued for 6 years I think.

Stocks and shares - you should be able to google the company and find out if it still exists and request any future divis and interest are paid direct into David's bank account.

One method which might help is to set up a spreadsheet if you are happy with computers or get a notebook, and use a different section for out of date cheques, stocks and shares and other things so you know what you've found and can think about dealing with it.

My mother's financial affairs were a mess and it is extremely time consuming.

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi, as @jugglingmum says, work through it slowly, putting all “like” things together. It won’t feel like you are getting anywhere for a while, but it will gradually get there

Was David self employed? If so, you will need to keep paperwork for a number of years. Also notify HMRC that he has ceased & check his last self assessment has been completed.

When I’ve gone into an office that’s not very organised, I’ve started in one corner & worked my way round a room. If it’s realy hard to work out what’s what, get some boxes from a supermarket, staple a sheet of paper on each with a description: invoices (bills), sales, cheques, bank (cheque books, paying in slips, statements etc), info (Manuel for printers, change of contact details, guarantees etc) & then just drop each item into a box.

You can then take one box at a time into a different room, where it’s less overwhelming & sort through that. As you file the paperwork, you should get an idea of how things are going & what you need to do

No idea what part of the country you are in, but you might be able to get some better local suggestions if you add it to your profile, just a suggestion

Lots of luck