Mum's 60th birthday and I'm not sure how to feel

sford91

Registered User
Nov 4, 2015
115
0
Mum's 60 at the end of the month and were gunna plan a little party with her friends either at the care home or at a local gardens she loves ( weather permitting). I'm not sure how I feel as if mum didn't have dementia we be having a big party and celebrating going out for meal etc I'd want to buy her something beautiful and meaningful but now she has this cruel disease and 60 is a milestone (she's had early onset frontal lobe for 4 years) this is potentially the last big birthday she'll have if that makes sense. I suppose I'm just feeling another sense of sadness and loss again. .
 

Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,242
0
Cotswolds
Mum's 60 at the end of the month and were gunna plan a little party with her friends either at the care home or at a local gardens she loves ( weather permitting). I'm not sure how I feel as if mum didn't have dementia we be having a big party and celebrating going out for meal etc I'd want to buy her something beautiful and meaningful but now she has this cruel disease and 60 is a milestone (she's had early onset frontal lobe for 4 years) this is potentially the last big birthday she'll have if that makes sense. I suppose I'm just feeling another sense of sadness and loss again. .
You have every right to feel sad @sford91 :( I know I would have felt the loss keenly, in your situation. As it is, I am in my late sixties and am the carer for my Mum, who is aged nearly 97. It all goes to show the essential, random unfairness of illness, and from our point of view, of dementia.
I don’t know what to say, really. My first thought was ‘celebrate what you have, in the here and now, and try not to think of what you’ve lost and will lose’ . I do believe that, truly, but it in the circumstances it sounds trite somehow :(
I think I can only send you (((hugs)))
Thinking of you.
Love
Lindy xx
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,534
0
N Ireland
I know how you feel as my wife is also early onset and it sometimes feels as if our planned joint retirement has been robbed from us. However, we just make the best of what we now have and we can still enjoy life much of the time.

I'm sure that your revised plans can still be enjoyed so I hope you all have a good day.
 

sford91

Registered User
Nov 4, 2015
115
0
Thankyou for your replies and to be honest your both right and this is usually what I think and feel, ' live in the hear and now enjoy what time we do have and not think to much about the future'

Take care all x
 

sford91

Registered User
Nov 4, 2015
115
0
Thank you very much for replying I was trying to work out how to post a photo to show you all but don't think you can. She smiled from ear to ear all day :) xx
 

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