Your tips: when the person you are caring for doesn't want to attend regular check-ups

[HarrietD]

Every issue our magazine includes real life experiences, and they want to hear from you. This time, we're asking for your tips on how to cope when a person with dementia doesn't want to attend regular check-ups.

Do you have any tips about what to do when this happens? For example, when someone refuses to go for a regular check-up with the dentist or opticians? Have there been ways you've dealt with it that might help other carers?

Please feel free to add your comments below, and they may be featured in the next magazine.

Thanks everyone

 

[Duggies-girl]

Every issue our magazine includes real life experiences, and they want to hear from you. This time, we're asking for your tips on how to cope when a person with dementia doesn't want to attend regular check-ups.

Do you have any tips about what to do when this happens? For example, when someone refuses to go for a regular check-up with the dentist or opticians? Have there been ways you've dealt with it that might help other carers?

Please feel free to add your comments below, and they may be featured in the next magazine.

Thanks everyone

I never tell dad beforehand because he will go on and on about it. I just spring it on him. I have even been devious enough to set my phone alarm and then answer it with an Oh yes we can do that. Then I tell dad he has just been fitted in for a check up and we can go now. It always works and there little time for protest. If he does protest then I will say you must go as they have been kind enough to fit you in and so you mustn't waste the appointment.

It works for me and it shifts the blame.

 

[Batsue]

I don't tell mum anything until we are in the car and on our way as I would probably have difficulty getting her out of the house. She usually forgets where we are going within 30 seconds and asks me continually on the hour long drive.

 

[Beate]

I found that house visits (or in our case visits while at the Day Centre) worked terrifically well. OH wasn't averse to medical check-ups but he was more relaxed when they took place in familiar surroundings, plus when his mobility got worse, this saved so much hassle. A lot of community health services now offer house visits, but you might have to be referred. In our case we had an optician, a dentist and a foot health person attend the Day Centre regularly, plus the Memory Clinic consultant was more than willing to come out, but only after I had asked. OH knew that he was being tested by the consultant and even though he tried to cooperate, it stressed both him and me. Once the visits were shifted to his Day Centre, he only had to see the consultant for a few minutes each time and was then able to resume his usual activities while I had a longer chat with the consultant. A community health dentist is also a lot more experienced than a regular dentist in knowing how to put a "difficult" patient at ease. Ours were absolutely marvellous - nothing fazed them.

 

[HarrietD]

Thanks @Duggies-girl, @reedysue and @Beate - really helpful comments so far.

 

[di65]

My husband used to object, as he was in complete denial of his condition. I often used to say that I had a doctor's checkup and that as we needed to do the supermarket shopping afterwards (he always enjoyed that) he could come with me to save me coming back for him. Worked a treat!

 

[Myra_52]

This is all very helpful! Thank you for sharing. I do agree, it is best to fit in these visits between some other errands...then it feels it is a regular part of the day. OR sometimes I book my own check ups at the same time so they are not on their own.

Thanks!

 

[myss]

I've not had an issue with my PWD attending appointments but he's been a bit stubborn at times doing things like having bath or taking his tablets, and the same stance mentioned in the first two reply posts in that they found a solution in not telling them about the appointment worked in these other situations too.

As mentioned in the said two posts, don't tell them about the appointment, mention it just before like it was a routine thing that they've been told about before so that they hadn't the time to think of their opposition for going.