Hi
@Cirrus777 Do the doctors think that she is at end of life, or just at end stage of dementia? You can be at end stage for many months before reaching end of life.
During the end stage the swallow often starts to go and it becomes difficult to swallow things. This can often be helped by getting things at the right consistency - pureeing food and thickening fluid is usual. Has she been assessed by the SALT (Speech And Language Therapy) team, who are the experts in swallowing problems?
If she is at actual end of life then the body is slowly shutting down and can no longer process food and fluid. This can go on a long time - my mum was without food or fluid for 17 days, but it was not this lack of food/fluid which caused her death - she was dying already. In mums case she was refusing food and fluid during this time, but there is member on here whose mum has recently passed away whose mum said she was thirsty and wanted to drink, but if she drank more than a couple of sips it would make her vomit and cause pain, because her body could not longer process it.
It is also usual for people to become bedbound during this phase, but not always. My mum was up, dressed and in the lounge up until day 14 of her not eating or drinking (ie - 3 days before her death). I have a photo of her during this period where she and her great grandson (7months old) are both banging spoons on the table and laughing. No-one seeing her would realise that she was actively dying at that stage, but she was.
IV fluids have to be given in hospital and they are great if there they suddenly become dehydrated and are expected to recover - like when mum had a TIA. She was still living at home at this point and when she was taken to hospital she was found to be dehydrated and malnourished because she was forgetting to eat and drink. She had IV fluids and when she was better she was transferred to a care home and lived for another 3 years.
At the end of her life, however, when the swallow reflex had completely gone and her body was shutting down, IV fluids wold not have prolonged her life - it would just have extended her death.
I do think that you should go back to the doctor - perhaps ask to see the consultant - and find out whether they think your mum is at end of life or not.