help

[aceblytons]

I cant seem to get answers when i ask carers about the way my husband holds his hands.
he keeps one hand closed as if he is holding something and is frightened of letting go,there is nothing in his hand,or try to give me something saying there is something in his hand there is nothing in it.
this can go on for hours and i don't understand why,i just have to try and convince him there is nothing there.
anybody else seen this it would be interesting to know.
thankyou aceblytons
love to all

 

[Lynne]

Hi Ace

I haven't come across this one myself, but have you tried providing him with something small which he can hold?
I'm thinking maybe a large brass button, small ball, or something of negligible value but comfortable to carry around.

 

[Helen33]

Hello Ace

It seems a pity that your husband's carers aren't able to reassure you that it is nothing to worry about - if it was then they would need to refer him to a specialist!!

It seems your husband believes that he is holding something which sometimes he wants to pass to you. It would be more comforting to him, and probably to you, to go along with it.
Lynne's idea of giving him something very small to hold seems like a very good idea although he might not want to open his hand to take it. You could place something on his lap (or somewhere else suitable) and perhaps he might, over time, pick it up. It's worth a try.

Love

 

[Skye]

I have seen this happen, though not with John. Some of the residents of his unit will hold out their hands to me as if to give me something, but there is nothing there.

I think they're just wanting contact, and to give me something for being there and speaking to them.

Have you tried taking what he is offering, and thanking him for it? I'm afraid arguing will simply make your husband more anxious.

Worth a try!

 

[Grannie G]

Hello aceblytons

I would go along with the suggestions to take whatever your husband thinks he is holding from him.
It`s certainly worth a try.

 

[jude1950]

My Husband also has imaginary things in his hands, when he offers them to me I simply take it , somtimes I say thankyou other times I don't say anything. One note of caution be careful what you do with it I once brushed the imaginary item of my hand and was told off because I had killed it ....apparently it was a pixie

Sometimes Jim will alo indicate that there is something on the floor that needs picking up in that instance I usually say that "I can't see anything it must be that I have the wrong glasses on." he usually accepts this and forgets about it.

just go with the flow

regards Judith

 

[aceblytons]

hi judith
just read your message and les is doing the same,showing me something on the floor and there is nothing
there,its helps a lot when i read the messages and you find your not on your own others are going through the same problem,as for closing his hand i will try what you do,and what other messages have said to try.
just see how we go from here
thanks for all advice.
aceblytons

 

[Amy]

Hiya Judie...the pixie made me smile...thank you.
Love Helen

 

[jude1950]

Your welcome

 

[alfjess]

Hi aceblytons

My Dad is always giving me something but there is nothing there.
I just say thanks, I will put it "here, in my bag, or wherever??" It seems to satisfy him.

He is not the only one in the unit, to have imaginery things in their hands and to pass them on to me. A few of the other residents do this.

Go with it, there is no harm done and if it keeps them happy, great.

Alfjess

 

[Luca]

Hello.
I have not heard of this imainary 'thingy' before and it made me sad. I agreed with going along with the taking of it.

If my husband goes this way I will remember all your threads.

If one can't bend, one will break. Luca.