Unwelcome Post!

[Lynne]

As some of you may know, my Mum died last week, Weds. 3rd Sept.

The day after she died, what should drop through the postbox but a bill for her week's Respite care, back in April! What immaculate timing

On a slightly different tack, I have been surprised at the reactions of some of Mum's friends & neighbours to the fact that I put in the newspaper announcement of her death
"... as a result of Alzheimer's Disease." Some seem to think it was inappropriate, almost shameful. Funny things, folk

 

[connie]

Sending hugs to you honey. Some things you just don't need.

The day after she died, what should drop through the postbox but a bill for her week's Respite care, back in April!

As to some people's reaction to the wording of your announcement in the newspaper.......what planet are they on.

Stay strong Lynne. You are still doing all the right things for your dear mum.

 

[BeckyJan]

Lynne:

Its good to hear from you as I have wondered how you are feeling.

The reactions of friends and neighbours would seem to be ingnorance of what Alz. is all about. Many just do not realise that people die of it. I say good of you to express it as you did - it need to be aired and understood.

Keep in touch with us - I for one welcome your posts.

Love Jan

 

[jenniferpa]

Dear Lynne

I think the other thing is not only do people not realize that people die of AD as Becky Jan says, it's that some people still think of AD as a "mental illness" (not that anyone should be ashamed about that, but you know what people are) rather than an organic one. Even people who should know better sometimes have a tendency to be secretive about dementia.

 

[Skye]

Dear Lynne,

You did the right thing. The only way to combat ignorance is to keep talking, so well done you!

Good to see you back!

Love,

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Lynne

Keep having the courage of your convictions.

The world at large should wake up to knowing Alzheimers is a fatal illness and you have done your bit to ensure it.

The arrival of the bill for respite care was unfortunate timing and must have been very upsetting for you. One of the unfair quirks of fate.

I hope you are all right Lynne.

Take care xx

 

[Amy]

Hiya Lynne,
Was away last week.....sorry to hear about your mum.

Unfortunately there is so much shame and ignorance surrounding dementia...you did the right thing...all we can do is be proud of the way our folk have dealt with their illness....and the love that has shone through it.

Thinking of you.
Love Helen

 

[Lynne]

Thanks for your good wishes, yes I'm all right. Just ploughing through all the "stuff" that needs to be done, people & organizations informed, funeral arrangements (Weds 17th, 3.15pm). Makes me realise I'm getting old; I have to keep writing myself lists, crossing things off, making notes - once I could have remembered that sort of thing by brainpower!

As to continuing to post here, oh yes, you haven't seen the last of me yet!
And Oh yes, I have just completed an application form for a job as a Carer Support Worker for the local Alzheimer's Society office. Watch this space

 

[Amy]

Thats fantastic Lynne!!
Love Helen

 

[julieann15]

Hi Lynne
Glad that you are holding up well. Very bad timing for the bill!Glad to hear that you are going to continue posting on here- your advice will I am sure be valuable to those of us who are just at the beginning of our stories about Alzheimers Disease. I sometimes marvel at the threads on here and cannot believe that so many carers are "managing" without adequate support?
Good luck Lynne with your new venture- I do hope that it works out for you.
Big hugs and Ian and I will be thinking about you on the 17th.

Julie and Ian xx

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Dear Lynne,

On a slightly different tack, I have been surprised at the reactions of some of Mum's friends & neighbours to the fact that I put in the newspaper announcement of her death
"... as a result of Alzheimer's Disease."

When the time comes, I am going to do exactly as you did. I feel very strongly about people saying to me "Oh she could go on forever. Alzheimer's isn't a terminal disease". We here all know better. I think it would be denying my mother's years of suffering if we were to slide over her cause of death.

I'll be thinking of you on the 17th - I'll also be facilitating my support group meeting that evening.

Love,

 

[gigi]

Hello Lynne,

It's sad that the "older" generations have this "thing" about AD...but people like you...and those of us who are part of TP..will gradually change that perspective.

Even people who should know better sometimes have a tendency to be secretive about dementia.

..As you know I've come across it personally...the more people who realise that Alzheimers is an organic disease..the better.

It's good to hear that you are making plans for your own future...

Your compassion and care over the last few weeks have been a light in the darkness...thankyou for sharing it with us.

Will be thinking about you and your mum on the 17th...

Love gigi xx

 

[Margarita]

As to continuing to post here, oh yes, you haven't seen the last of me yet!

Now that is good to read

Wishing you all the best in getting the Job ,

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Lynne

As to continuing to post here, oh yes, you haven't seen the last of me yet!
And Oh yes, I have just completed an application form for a job as a Carer Support Worker for the local Alzheimer's Society office.

Good news on the first point and full marks for positive thinking on the second point.
You really do have your act together don`t you.

Love xx

 

[daughter]

Dear Lynne,

I haven't been keeping up with all the posts lately but I just read your news about your Mum and wanted to send sympathy and love. I will be thinking of you on the 17th.

Good luck with your application for Carer Support Worker.

Love Hazel. x

 

[Lynne]

You really do have your act together don`t you.
Love xx

It wasn't quite as calculated as it sounds! The advertisement for the job appeared in last Wednesday's local paper. Last Wednesday was the day Mum died, so reading the paper wasn't exactly high on my to-do list. I only learned about it yesterday when talking to our local Alz.Soc. group leader. I'm not a slave to superstition, but as Julia said
"It's almost as if it might have been meant!"

So I went out to the garage & unbundled the papers I had put out there on Saturday (we save them for the local Scout group, who collect them for re-cycling) & found it. Applying for a job is a long way from getting it, but I've got to start somewhere so where better than an organisation which so thoroughly deserves me!
( Joke folks , I'm not THAT confident, in fact after 2 years out of regular employment, not confident at all )

 

[Lynne]

Gigi

Hello Lynne,
It's sad that the "older" generations have this "thing" about AD...Love gigi xx

Sad, but quite understandable in my opinion. When my grannie died, she had what was then called Senile Dementia.
The word senile was & frequently IS used insultingly, applied to all sorts of stupid behaviour unrelated to age or mental decline.
As you know, my Mum was a Nurse (in the 1940s), but she still flinched at the word dementia when it was applied to her,
although she could talk about Alzheimer's Disease quite calmly. It's similar to the way 'Cancer' had to be whispered 20 years ago.

 

[christine_batch]

Dear Lynne,

When my husband passes away, I to will do the same thing Alzheimer's.

Good luck for the job as Carer Support Worker. Our's became a very good friend and she still visits Peter in the E.M.I. Unit.

My thoughts will be with you for the 17th.

Love from
Christine

 

[mel]

Hi Lynne

I don't often visit here now but i am sad to hear your news.

As far as your announcement in the paper I too put it in mums obituary....I was proud of mums battle against the disease. I am pleased I didn't have any negative feedback.

Regarding the post.....the morning after mum died the hospital social worker phoned me to confirm our meeting later on that day to discuss arrangements for mums permanent residential care
ONE YEAR on social services were "pleased to inform me" that mum was now eligible for a "sitter". I was "pleased to inform them "that this was no longer required

Good luck for the future Lynne
LOve xx

 

[sue38]

Hi Lynne,

Just wanted to say that I hope all goes well tomorrow for you. I shall be thinking about you.