Can I ... Should I?

[CeliaW]

Hi Sam

Could you ask for a falls mat by the side of her bed? It would warm you when she awoke and got out of bed

Also, maybe someone could lend you a baby monitor that you could set up and take one unit into the garden or wherever so you would hear her wake and call out..

Just a thought

Hugs xx

 

[Cat27]

Thank you, I have a feeling I’m going to need it. This feels different this evening. I’ve decided I’m not as ready as I thought, but I have to let her go if she will

We’re never ready to say goodbye. Even though we know it’s coming the finality of it is such a shock.

 

[Sam Luvit]

Huggles and cuggles are extra special hugs and cuddles to help you through this time xxxxx

Thank you I do feel I need extra strength ... the Captain will be joining me for dinner later ... large dose

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @CeliaW

I have a mat in the bed, but she sets it off bywiggling around getting comfortable, so I’ve not had it in today. I am trying to think of who might have a baby monitor I could borrow but I can’t think of anyone. I wish I’d bought one for youngest already.

They are good ideas, I might do a shout out on FB & see if anyone has one. I’d go buy one if I couid leave the house.

Why is life so blooming hard?

 

[canary]

There’s something different about her breathing now, I can’t explain it, it’s just different

This feels different this evening.

I will be thinking of you in particular this evening
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Sam Luvit]

We’re never ready to say goodbye. Even though we know it’s coming the finality of it is such a shock.

 

[Sam Luvit]

In the middle of all this, I got a message from someone in the TP team. No it wasn’t another wrist slap for using a bad word

They want permission to use a quote from one of my posts I’m flattered. Made me perk right up

Now I want to know, what is the Program Partnership, what is their “retail guide” & where can I find it so I can see myself in print

 

[Baby Bunty]

Hi sam..being reading your thread and to say its heartbreaking is an understatement..as an outside looking in..i would ask nurse about syringe driver..as they can put nausea medication and meds for anxiety and pain..so your mum is more comfortable..no one should be in pain..and also the reaching out at night is most likely caused by terminal agitation .so if this sound a little to much..but my be you she see if its needed.xx thoughts and prayeres to you and your mumxxx

 

[Baby Bunty]

Sorry spelling aweful..xx

 

[Sam Luvit]

The Hospice team have called back, apparently I should have phoned the mobile & not the office number. I figured it was during the day, so I called the office, but they’ve been out all day. Oh well. I’ll know if I need to call again.

I filled them in on the afternoons excitement & she suggested she wouId send out the night Team when they arrive. They start at 19.00.

I asked about the nurses comment regarding me being told it was very near the end. The deafening silence said a lot. So I said, I’d not been told, but I was guessing we are near the end & she confirmed that.

Brother is coming back soon.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Hi @love.dad.but..

I know I need to sort my own life vest first, I am trying to. I tell Mum I’m going to make a coffee, hang washing etc & will be back soon. I do the necessary, then sit outside the back door, in the sunshine & have 10 minutes to myself.

My problem is, Mum goes to sleep, wakes up, I’m not there & she’s forgotten what I’ve said. So she gets up & furniture walks to the kitchen. It’s maybe 10 normal steps. She has no balance & struggles to walk far, in fact by the time she’s that far, she’s about ready to face plant

I don’t know how to get around this. Short of tying her to the bed. I was sooooo tired this afternoon I needed to sleep, which I normally do in the lounge with her. I couldn’t as I was waiting on the DN’s arrival.

I think doing this at home, rather than going into a Hospice means you do need someone with her all the time. I can only step away when someone is here.

I know you are right @love.dad.but.. , but I don’t know how to get .the step away time. I will try getting something for her anxiety, maybe that will help

Oh dear Sam..I can see how difficult it is if your mum still has the strength and inclination to independently get out of bed. Dad went instantly 'off legs' when he collapsed at his NH and from then on in hospital a week and NH for a week as end of life neared he made no attempt to move his legs. A baby monitor suggested could be a good idea. A sensor mat on the floor rather than in the bed would alert you to her stepping out of bed rather than just wiggling and then settling again. The hospice team may be able to send a night nurse...a friend had one...if end of life is deemed to be close. X

 

[love.dad.but..]

...ah..just seen your post about hospice sending someone now...that's good. Change of breathing pattern is a strong indicator. Try and get some rest tonight...pass the caring duty baton over for a few hours.

 

[Cat27]

The Hospice team have called back, apparently I should have phoned the mobile & not the office number. I figured it was during the day, so I called the office, but they’ve been out all day. Oh well. I’ll know if I need to call again.

I filled them in on the afternoons excitement & she suggested she wouId send out the night Team when they arrive. They start at 19.00.

I asked about the nurses comment regarding me being told it was very near the end. The deafening silence said a lot. So I said, I’d not been told, but I was guessing we are near the end & she confirmed that.

Brother is coming back soon.

Please use that number if you’re unsure about anything Sam.

 

[Prudence9]

Oh Sam many hugs to you, so hard for you to hear that...

Re the baby monitor, Asda sell them, would you be able to find a few minutes to buy online? Or Argos, they may be able to do a 2 hour delivery slot for you?

I can't add to all the wonderful advice you've had today, I just hope that anxiety and pain meds are being covered now.

More ((((HUGS)))), love and support, I just wish it was real and not virtual xxx

 

[Sam Luvit]

Thank you @Baby Bunty

The Hospice team are coming out to check in Mum & sort anxiety meds from the Just in Case box.

I’m giving her oramorph & liquid paracetamol by syringe as it’s the only way to get it in her. I don’t want her in pain. She’s in a lot & today has been doubly difficult with her vomiting

 

[Sam Luvit]

Sorry spelling aweful..xx

You should see mine before I scan & edit

 

[Earthgirl72]

As usual, I have nothing useful to add to what everyone else has said so eloquently. Try to look after yourself too, and know that I - along with so many others here - are right next to you in spirit.

Sending so many huge Cornish hugs your way right now

Sam xx

 

[Sam Luvit]

Lol @love.dad.but.. My mum has to be different. She is still walking, or shuffling, but is a very determined lady. Although she struggles, she can get out of bed, hence the need to be close by all the time.

They gave us the mattress mat, as Mum was getting up in the night & I was so tired I wasn’t always waking up. I think we’ve had it 2 or maybe 3 weeks Honestly, Dementia aids have a shorter shelf life than computer equipment

The time it takes to get assessed, the company to arrange delivery & if it’s in stock or not ... anywhere from a week to a month

DN on Saturday said she was requesting a night sitter for this week, 2 or 3 nights .... not heard anything

 

[Baby Bunty]

Glad they are coming out and reviewing your mum ..just so you are aware oromorph is renowed to cause nausea.xxx

 

[Sam Luvit]

Please use that number if you’re unsure about anything Sam.

I will @Cat27. It just seemed logical to phone the landline during office hours