Lack of sleep

[MaddieJ]

How can I manage a nights sleep? My OH keeps waking early which can be any time between 2am and 5am and getting dressed for the day, noisily. Is there anything I can say / do to make him realise it is detrimental to both our health? I have tried keeping him awake throughout day, lying with him and stroking him to relax and being cross and angry. Any of them works once but only once. I am exhausted and grumpy now. He laughs at me when I try to reason with him. He threatens to call a doctor or ambulance if I don't get up when he says, usually around 5.30am. Amy ideas?

 

[karaokePete]

No point trying to reason with a person with dementia - if they could do reason they're unlikely to have been diagnosed.
If you feel you have tried everything, maybe a word with the GP could get you something to help him settle.

 

[Tin]

Nothing you can say or do I am afraid, I take it he is not an early to bed person, not that that makes much difference with dementia. It may be time to try some sleep medication.

I had terrible problems with my mum and when she was up I had to get up. Although I did leave a sandwich, biscuits and a drink in the kitchen for her and she went straight for this around 4.30 a.m, but she would never go back to bed and I would hear her constantly moving around the house. I put a lock on my bedroom door, it was too much when she would wander in and try to get me out of bed. Sometime around 7 I would get up and find her fast asleep on the sofa.

Some nights she would go to bed and sleep for a couple of hours then up she got, other nights she would be in bed only for a few minutes and there she was at the sitting room door, smiling at me. Of course I was not smiling, just so tired and desperate!

In the end I turned to the gp and she was prescribed sleeping pills, but not every night. I also used some over the counter products, but these did not work as well as the prescribed medication and the prescribed medication could not be used long term.

 

[love.dad.but..]

My experience with my dad was the same as Tin's. The up and about compulsive night pacing never left dad either when I cared for him in his home or later in his NH. Any zzz drugs have to be balanced carefully against the risk of a fall with a pwd ...dad's gp very reluctant as dad was finding his way around up and down stairs...the NH tried medication but it made no difference and then was too great a risk as he had regular falls. At home...all I could do was to make the house as safe as I could at night and leave dad to it. No point in trying to reason the compulsion was too strong. Try and snatch a snooze when your O H does during the day. Some pass through this phase.

 

[Tin]

The afternoon nap, well feet up on the sofa, was the only thing that got me through the day, front door locked and a note asking visitors to go away!! phone unplugged and house safe for mum to wander around, strangely mum would not disturbed me during these times and so sometimes I was able to get an hour and a half while she fiddled.

Yes, mum has passed this stage and now sleeps through the night, but I still grab a few z's in the afternoon.

 

[maryjoan]

I think it's a bit like babies - sleep when they sleep, and sometimes they don't sleep very much! What a life it is.

 

[Bunpoots]

I wouldn't worry about him calling a doctor or ambulance. Calls will be logged and the operators will soon realise what's going on after a few calls. He may not be able to make the call anyway.
Call his bluff!
I do feel for you. I couldn't cope with sleep deprivation. Is there any chance you could sleep in separate rooms?

 

[marionq]

I have moved into my own room in the last few months and it has taken me most of that time to learn to sleep properly. SS are supposed to be giving me a pressure pad to alert me to John getting out of bed as I usually am sleeping with one eye open waiting for a catastrophe.

In fact he is sleeping more soundly on his own! He does take Trazadone but that is all. I would talk to your GP about occasional sleeping pills as being without sleep makes a care home more likely.

 

[Amethyst59]

It was sleep deprivation that was the final straw for us...my husband has now moved into an apartment in a care home. For the last couple of weeks we were in the same house, we had separate bedrooms and that really helped. I still got up when I heard him moving around (he is not at all with it at night and will pee anywhere) but at least I slept a bit in between. When we share a bed, he begins to talk to me every time he wakes up. Maybe you could try a separate room? My husband wasn’t at all happy about it, but I was desperate for some sleep.

 

[Amethyst59]

@marionq posted while I did...and it reminded me...I came to the conclusion that my husband slept more when he was alone, too.

 

[MaddieJ]

Well I appreciate everyone's comments and I have moved into a separate room and taken to napping in day time with OH.. We also have had visit from Doctor from MC (other reason than sleep issue but taken opportunity to ask) culminating with being advised not to use sleeping tabs but anti depressant were prescribed for him to take at bed time. These have helped in that he now sleeps through until 5am and every night. Also he has short naps a lot more in the day now. In fact he nods off as soon as he sits down. Stays awake whilst we are up and about but nods off when we stop. Also hallucinates on waking from these naps. A bit worrying but we will persevere. Thanks for all your help.

 

[Tin]

The wonderful side effects of anti depressants. Keep grabbing those day time naps for as long as you can.

 

[Optomistic]

My husband has started waking at 4 or 5 for the loo then won’t go back tomorrow to sleep. It’s making me very tired. I won’t let him go downstairs has he messed with plugs and can’t see to brew tea I’d worry more if he wasn’t in bed with me. He has. a sleep after tea sometimes a couple of hours should I stop this,

 

[Tin]

My husband has started waking at 4 or 5 for the loo then won’t go back tomorrow to sleep. It’s making me very tired. I won’t let him go downstairs has he messed with plugs and can’t see to brew tea I’d worry more if he wasn’t in bed with me. He has. a sleep after tea sometimes a couple of hours should I stop this,

Depends what time you have tea, but a couple of hours at that time of day would make going to bed at a proper time harder. Not sure it would do anything to stop the 4 a.m bathroom call though, if you have to go, you have to go. May be more success looking at the time he has his last drink of the day.

 

[Optomistic]

Depends what time you have tea, but a couple of hours at that time of day would make going to bed at a proper time harder. Not sure it would do anything to stop the 4 a.m bathroom call though, if you have to go, you have to go. May be more success looking at the time he has his last drink of the day.

 

[Optomistic]

He has a cup of tea at 9pm but is type 2 diabetic so goes to the loo more often. He gets up about twice each night but used to go straight back to sleep.