Getting Mum dressed

[HippoLady]

My Mum has Parksinsons/Dementia. The only time she gets dressed in when I give her a shower. All the other times she just sits in her chair watching tv in her nightie and dressing gown. When I say to her she ought to get dressed (on the days I don't visit) she says she doesn't want to (she is capable of dressing herself - although it takes a bit of time and normally gets me to dress her when I shower her.

My questions is - Should I just let her be (what does it matter if she stays in her nightwea all day?) or try and ask the Carers - who come every morning to make sure she takes her medication and make her something to eat - to try and persaud her to get dressed.

 

[Louise7]

Welcome to TP. I think if your Mum only gets dressed when you give her a shower it's possible that she is now having problems doing this herself, even if she has previously been capable of doing so. I don't think it would hurt to ask the carers to have a go at encouraging or helping her to get dressed, but if they only come in the morning would your Mum be able to undress herself at night? If sitting watching TV all day in her nightclothes is a recent development it's worth considering if she is depressed but if not, and she is happy staying in her nightwear, then I'd just let her be. You could maybe get her some 'lounge wear' which could double up as day or night wear, such as comfy tops/joggers.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @HippoLady, welcome to TP from me too. I hope you find the forum to be a supportive place.

As has been said, it may be that you mum has lost the ability to dress herself. It can even be a problem of no longer knowing what to wear because the choice of clothes available baffles her. I know my wife gets confused when fazed with making choices. It may be worth just having a single set of day clothes laid out every day and then leaving the same PJs in place for the nighttime change to see if that works.

Again, as has been said, it may even be a symptom of depression or apathy as these issues can raise their heads with dementia.

Both of these issues are covered in AS Factsheets and if you are interested in a read at these you can find them by following these links
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites/default/files/migrate/downloads/factsheet_dressing.pdf

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites...ownloads/factsheet_depression_and_anxiety.pdf

 

[Tin]

I gave up trying to get my mum changed from day to night clothes. She now wears casual, elasticated trousers from Cotton Traders, with a suitable t-shirt top. Perfectly adequate to sleep in and if she does not want to change these in the morning then it does not matter. As long as she allows me to change her pads and so far she does. I can change her clothes every few days without a battle, more amenable to this in the mornings.

 

[HippoLady]

Thanks everyone. She hasn't been bothering so much since my Dad passed away in September, so maybe it is part to do with depression due to him not being there and her dementia and also and not needing to look nice for him. I do try and leave out underwear, trousers (she won't wear skirts) and a top for her so she can get dressed. And when I shower her I always make sure there is a clean nightie on her pillow. I have got into the habit of dressing her when I visit to giver her a shower. Maybe I should try and let her do it herself. I think she like me doing it all for her though. I know that she is capable of undressing at night and putting on her own nightie. She has never been the type of person to wear joggers and t-shirt, but I might see if I can get some sort of lounge wear she can also wear in bed, especially during the winter months as I am sure, even with the heating on full blast, she can't be that warm sitting in a nightie and dressing gown. She has not got to the stage yet that she needs pads.

 

[Winnie10]

Matalan, make fleece pj's in the winter, they look good for lounge wear, and are warm in bed M&S have nice pj's at the moment £12 (for the current weather). Adding a cardigan makes pj's more like day wear.

If Mum is not going out, you can understand her thinking what it the point, I am fine as I am.