Still trying to get to grips with this laptop,which my wife now realy feels is a threat to her,at least thats how i read it so it can only use it before i get her up or after i put her to bed.Iused to love to read,but that upsets her also,so i have had to cut that back.The thing that gives me most pleasure however,is the garden this helps to keep me sane,looks as though i may have down on this also!This sounds selfish i know but it is just to keep my head together.Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away,Now it looks as though ther here to stay.Good night all.
Today.
- Thread starter beech mount
- Start date
Dear beech mount,
Your are not being selfish, please do not think that.
As Carers' we need some quality time or even space. I know it is difficult but as you know Caring is a 24/7 job.
My husband when he was at home use to object to me being on the computer. Peter use to stand behind me and never saying anything. In fact when I come off the computer, he still did not communicate at all. He would just sit in the chair chain smoking.
We both loved our garden but as Peter deteriorated, he would pull up new plants in the spring, leave weeds and just cut back all my climbing plants.
This bit may make you laugh but Peter wanted Lavetera and I tried to tell him that we already had several but no he wanted 12 more. Left him with his Carer for a couple of hours and he planted all of them at the front of the flower bed!!!
So keep on posting.
Best wishes
Christine
Your are not being selfish, please do not think that.
As Carers' we need some quality time or even space. I know it is difficult but as you know Caring is a 24/7 job.
My husband when he was at home use to object to me being on the computer. Peter use to stand behind me and never saying anything. In fact when I come off the computer, he still did not communicate at all. He would just sit in the chair chain smoking.
We both loved our garden but as Peter deteriorated, he would pull up new plants in the spring, leave weeds and just cut back all my climbing plants.
This bit may make you laugh but Peter wanted Lavetera and I tried to tell him that we already had several but no he wanted 12 more. Left him with his Carer for a couple of hours and he planted all of them at the front of the flower bed!!!
So keep on posting.
Best wishes
Christine
Hiya Beechmount.......laptops are dangerous things,,,if allowed they can take over your life....your wife has cause to be jealous
But they are also a window to the world....here is a place for you to relax...a place to reap information and support...a place to let off steam....a place to smile.
Sorry...dont even know what a hardy ginger is!!
Love Helen
But they are also a window to the world....here is a place for you to relax...a place to reap information and support...a place to let off steam....a place to smile.Sorry...dont even know what a hardy ginger is!!
Love Helen
Hi Beech Mount
Since you are quoting The Beatles:
[Moderator note: please see http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/site/scripts/documents_info.php?categoryID=2&documentID=65 regarding reproducing copyright material.
sorry to remove the words [one of the best Beatles songs IMHO] but while a single line quoted is ok, a couple of verses is covered in the tutorial above "Such materials should not be reproduced in full, or in part, on Talking Point"
[lyrics removed]]
Since you are quoting The Beatles:
[Moderator note: please see http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/talkingpoint/site/scripts/documents_info.php?categoryID=2&documentID=65 regarding reproducing copyright material.
sorry to remove the words [one of the best Beatles songs IMHO] but while a single line quoted is ok, a couple of verses is covered in the tutorial above "Such materials should not be reproduced in full, or in part, on Talking Point"
[lyrics removed]]
Last edited by a moderator:
If it helps, this neediness and possessiveness appears to be a common symptom of the disease or at least the effect that having a disease that causes you to lose all control over your life would have on any 'normal' person. Just thought I'd make sure you were aware of that, in case you thought it was your wife who was just particularly frustrating, that it was just her personality causing her to be like this.
Dad used to constantly follow mum everywhere, and even when he could no longer get up and follow her, he'd follow her with his eyes. I think its partly to do with the fact that the dementia sufferer sees the primary carer as the one thing in life they can still control, they can make you cry, they can make you laugh, they can make you go angry...with you they have power. The other side of it is, that they know that you are the key to their survival, so of course they cling on like crazy. The final effect of this two sided coin, is that they can resent you or at least resent anything you do that may appear to suggest that they don't have control over you because common sense or instinct tells them that they are not safe if they can't maintain that control.
Doesn't make it any easier, and possibly you already have thought all this through yourself. Just thought I'd post it in case, you hadn't and because I know other people will read the post too, and it might help them at least come to terms with why the behaviour is occurring at least.
But as I said, doesn't make it any easier does it?
Best wishes with your gardening.
Dad used to constantly follow mum everywhere, and even when he could no longer get up and follow her, he'd follow her with his eyes. I think its partly to do with the fact that the dementia sufferer sees the primary carer as the one thing in life they can still control, they can make you cry, they can make you laugh, they can make you go angry...with you they have power. The other side of it is, that they know that you are the key to their survival, so of course they cling on like crazy. The final effect of this two sided coin, is that they can resent you or at least resent anything you do that may appear to suggest that they don't have control over you because common sense or instinct tells them that they are not safe if they can't maintain that control.
Doesn't make it any easier, and possibly you already have thought all this through yourself. Just thought I'd post it in case, you hadn't and because I know other people will read the post too, and it might help them at least come to terms with why the behaviour is occurring at least.
But as I said, doesn't make it any easier does it?
Best wishes with your gardening.
can so identify
hello beech mount, everything in your last post was so close to how it is in our home, Trev hates me to go on the computer and since i still work as a graphic designer from home ,it does cause problems, the garden is my saviour but when i tell friends that that is what keeps me sane, they say i obviousley do not do enough then.think ginger needs dividing in april, but dont take my word for it.As for song titles my Trev wrote many songs and lyrics prior to the dreaded AD, he wrote me a song entitled the flame still burns it has me in tears just thinking about it, we met on bonfire night so very apt
Nat your post so it the nail on the head as usual , i had not thought of it like that ,thanks.
hello beech mount, everything in your last post was so close to how it is in our home, Trev hates me to go on the computer and since i still work as a graphic designer from home ,it does cause problems, the garden is my saviour but when i tell friends that that is what keeps me sane, they say i obviousley do not do enough then.think ginger needs dividing in april, but dont take my word for it.As for song titles my Trev wrote many songs and lyrics prior to the dreaded AD, he wrote me a song entitled the flame still burns it has me in tears just thinking about it, we met on bonfire night so very apt
Nat your post so it the nail on the head as usual , i had not thought of it like that ,thanks.
Dear Beech Mount.
Know what you mean. B follows me to cmputer and says "I'm lonely" so I have to leave it and go and be 'nagged at' about money, feeler gauges, and car insurances. Follows me to the toiler and say "can I give you a hand" No comment!!!! Luca.
Know what you mean. B follows me to cmputer and says "I'm lonely" so I have to leave it and go and be 'nagged at' about money, feeler gauges, and car insurances. Follows me to the toiler and say "can I give you a hand" No comment!!!! Luca.
My husband hates me being on the computer too...
I bought a laptop so I could spend time in the lounge with him..(he spends most of his day sitting in front of the TV watching old films..or asleep..).
Trouble is the sound is so loud I can't think...and he too will suddenly start asking questions about money, how much pension he gets..and so on.
He calls my laptop "the machine".
He doesn't follow me about..but sits in his chair and shouts for me...
When I do go out and leave him with the sitter he becomes quite agitated after a couple of hours....worrying about when I'm coming back.
It doesn't make for relaxed living, does it..?
My heart goes out to you all ....sharing on TP helps us to realise we are not the only ones...
Love gigi xx
I bought a laptop so I could spend time in the lounge with him..(he spends most of his day sitting in front of the TV watching old films..or asleep..).
Trouble is the sound is so loud I can't think...and he too will suddenly start asking questions about money, how much pension he gets..and so on.
He calls my laptop "the machine".
He doesn't follow me about..but sits in his chair and shouts for me...
When I do go out and leave him with the sitter he becomes quite agitated after a couple of hours....worrying about when I'm coming back.
It doesn't make for relaxed living, does it..?
My heart goes out to you all ....sharing on TP helps us to realise we are not the only ones...
Love gigi xx
