My dad has vascular dementia and Alzheimer's. He is 86. Mom is struggling and has booked him in for 2 days respite beginning of Sept and a week at the end of Sept with the view of seeing how he goes at the first one. This will be the first time for him. We took him a few weeks ago to look around the home which is lovely but he became so angry, banging his stick and shouting etc. He was rude to staff. (He can't walk well and uses a stick and wheelchair. He refused to have anything to do with the place and said he would walk out (he can't walk), he could do what he liked when he liked and nobody could stop him. He would go and drown himself. Obviously this was not how my dad used to behave. He was the calmest, kindest person I know. We're worried about what might happen and whether he would regress if we left him and even whether my mom would be able to leave him there on the day. What will happen if he plays up and they can't keep him. How have other people got on. Have you told them beforehand, only dad refuses to acknowledge anything and says he won't go so we've stopped mentioning it for the time being. Do we take him with suitcase and not tell him we're going. It's all getting really stressful and we don't know what to do for the best. Any advice on what other people have done will be gratefully appreciated.