Difficulties getting into bed

[tss502]

Hi all,

I wonder if anyone can help with this. I've noticed that when my OH gets into bed he can't seem to position himself properly, so he ends up with his head jammed up against the headboard. He can't seem to work out that he needs to move himself further down the bed so that his head is resting on his pillow. When he first gets into bed I have to get him out again and re-position him so that he lies down properly. But if he gets up in the night to go to the loo, he gets into bed in the wrong position again and it's very hard then in the middle of the night to get him to co-operate so I can move him. If I just leave him, he keeps getting up and down, presumably because he can't get comfortable. I can't remove the headboard or replace the bed so the option seems to be to consider moving him to another room where the bed doesn't have a headboard (but I wonder if he will just do the same with the wall instead). This also might lead to more confusion in the night over where the loo is etc. I really need to be able to have a good night of rest if possible, as I work full time and need to be fit for work, so any suggestions which minimise the disruption to me as well would be gratefully accepted!

 

[karaokePete]

I wonder if your OH is doing this because visuospatial problems are making it hard for him to see where his head should go and he is using the headboard as a guide.

This may sound too simple and a bit daft, however, I wonder if using 2 pillows for him, with one vertical against the headboard would guide him into position in a gentle way. I suppose the vertical pillow would then have to be either fixed in position or removed after he gets into bed to prevent it falling over his face/head. As I said, may be a bit daft - I just thought it may be worth a try.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @tss502

When my husband had problems positioning himself in the bed I held his hands as he stood facing me, half way down the bed. I would then help him to back himself towards the bed until the back of his legs touched the bed. He would then sit on the bed and I would lift his legs onto the bed. He was then in a better position to sleep.

Sorry I can`t be any clearer . I hope it helps.

 

[archiebald]

My OH does exact same thing when he gets up during nite I just reposition him its easier altho he would just sleep upright against the headboard if I left him but he looks so uncomfortable I also have sensor lights in bedroom into hall to show way to and from toilet I have taken early retirement so dont have to like you get up to go to work so it is exhausting enough for me so will be more exhausting for you hope you get a better solution and better nites sleep

 

[imsoblue]

Thank you for writing this. My OH did/does(?) the same thing. I have never been sure which aspect of his disease (physical with Parkinsonism or mental with dementia) caused a host of his problems. Your description and other comments let me know it's the dementia. Of course all of it is his brain. My OH has moved into a CH so now I'm not aware of many of these issues anymore.

 

[tss502]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I will try these and let you know how we get on. I think there might be something in the suggestions around visual-spatial issues because I've noticed him also struggling with stairs recently, and if I point at something to point it out to him he doesn't look where I am pointing.

 

[DeMartin]

Hi all,

I wonder if anyone can help with this. I've noticed that when my OH gets into bed he can't seem to position himself properly, so he ends up with his head jammed up against the headboard. He can't seem to work out that he needs to move himself further down the bed so that his head is resting on his pillow. When he first gets into bed I have to get him out again and re-position him so that he lies down properly. But if he gets up in the night to go to the loo, he gets into bed in the wrong position again and it's very hard then in the middle of the night to get him to co-operate so I can move him. If I just leave him, he keeps getting up and down, presumably because he can't get comfortable. I can't remove the headboard or replace the bed so the option seems to be to consider moving him to another room where the bed doesn't have a headboard (but I wonder if he will just do the same with the wall instead). This also might lead to more confusion in the night over where the loo is etc. I really need to be able to have a good night of rest if possible, as I work full time and need to be fit for work, so any suggestions which minimise the disruption to me as well would be gratefully accepted!

A late thought, are your pillow cases the same colour as the sheets, a contrast colour may show OH the place to put his head.

 

[imsoblue]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I will try these and let you know how we get on. I think there might be something in the suggestions around visual-spatial issues because I've noticed him also struggling with stairs recently, and if I point at something to point it out to him he doesn't look where I am pointing.

Regarding Visual-spatial issues, I again thought it was the Parkinsonism. One of the first of so many problems I began to notice was his driving. When Son #2 was in the front seat with him, he noticed the same thing. Of course complaining to OH that he was going too far to the right side of the road only brought out anger. Another big item is that when he puts anything down, especially a glass, it it always, always one-third off the edge of the surface. I would ask him to overcompensate but that never worked.

 

[imsoblue]

A late thought, are your pillow cases the same colour as the sheets, a contrast colour may show OH the place to put his head.

That’s a great suggestion. Thank you!

 

[tss502]

So different coloured pillow cases didn't make a difference, and neither did the suggestion about propping the pillow up! However it seems to be intermittent and some nights he seems more able to move himself down the bed successfully if he gets in too high.