Just catching up on your thread Al - God love you - you've been really going through it. I hope all goes well for you today & praying that your wife settles down in her new surroundings
Two years to get this bad. What now?
- Thread starter AL60
- Start date
Hi. Thank you all for your kind words. It's done. And I don't feel anything, not yet anyway. The only emotion I feel up to now is relief. It's not been easy, especially these last couple of months. Now I just feel an emptiness, I suppose it's normal to feel this way. Tomorrow I'll call and ask about visiting times then go and see how she is. I know she's in the best place for help but it still feels so cruel like I've abandoned her there. I'll sign off now, get some sleep then wake refreshed. It's been a long day. I'm finding it hard to come to terms with the fact she may not be comingback home. I started by saying I don't feel anything, I think I do, it's impossible not to.
Goodnight Al.
Goodnight Al.
Hello AL60
I follow your thread although I don't comment. I have the utmost respect for you dealing with the chaos of dementia in your own home. It's something no-one should ever have to do if we lived in a truly compassionate society.
I hope your wife settles well and that you can find some kind of contentment in this new phase in your relationship.
Look after yourself.
I follow your thread although I don't comment. I have the utmost respect for you dealing with the chaos of dementia in your own home. It's something no-one should ever have to do if we lived in a truly compassionate society.
I hope your wife settles well and that you can find some kind of contentment in this new phase in your relationship.
Look after yourself.
All perfectly natural emotions @AL60. Some will stay some will go. It had to be. Give yourself time.
Through the ups and downs that may follow, hold onto the fact that you know she is in the right place. It has not been an easy decision for you, but one that had to be made. Sending good wishes to you and your wife, and a big squishy hug. May you now enjoy each other without the stress of constant caring.
Hi. A roller coaster of emotions, you're not kidding. Yesterday I felt nothing, today, im all over the place! I know it will get better over time but for now, it's hell.
Went to see her today, I've never known her so quiet. She looks so out of place there,,so sad. Yet I know it's the best place for her.
I'll give it time, I know how it works. One day I'll smile again and really mean it.
Al.
Went to see her today, I've never known her so quiet. She looks so out of place there,,so sad. Yet I know it's the best place for her.
I'll give it time, I know how it works. One day I'll smile again and really mean it.
Al.
One day at a time, Al.Hi. A roller coaster of emotions, you're not kidding. Yesterday I felt nothing, today, im all over the place! I know it will get better over time but for now, it's hell.
Went to see her today, I've never known her so quiet. She looks so out of place there,,so sad. Yet I know it's the best place for her.
I'll give it time, I know how it works. One day I'll smile again and really mean it.
Al.
Hope you are still sleeping and wake up reasonably refreshed.
I am cryng for you Al. I know how you feel and its so bad. But it will be ok. If only we could find a cure for this awful miserable illness. My husband came through it all and I believe is happy and seems to really like all of the staff that help him. I was advised not to visit for a couple of weeks. Maybe that would be best for you. I know you will think that your wife will think you have deserted her but I don't think the dementia mind works like that. I am sure that they don't know how many days have gone by. She settled in when it was respite so give it time again. Love to you.xxxHi. A roller coaster of emotions, you're not kidding. Yesterday I felt nothing, today, im all over the place! I know it will get better over time but for now, it's hell.
Went to see her today, I've never known her so quiet. She looks so out of place there,,so sad. Yet I know it's the best place for her.
I'll give it time, I know how it works. One day I'll smile again and really mean it.
Al.
I so agree with what you said about the dementia mind and time. One of the residents at OH home said to me yesterday, I haven't seen you for weeks and weeks and MONTHS. She saw me the day before ... with love and all thoughts, Geraldine aka kindred.
Oh Geraldine that is so interesting, what you and @Casbow say about time, I must remember it. My OH is still at home of course, well and truly, but he already gets these odd distortions about time. I was hardly taking any notice, I’ve got so much else to worry about that it seemed unimportant - but it is significant and will help me in due course I am sure, as I hope it’s helping @AL60 now.
So good to hear from you. Teaching children the time is one of the most tricky skills, along with tying shoelaces and it is the skill people with dementia often (not all) lose quickly. The resident was really saying, Geraldine, it seems a long time since I last saw you, but she expressed it in terms of days and months so from our point of view it's not accurate! It is interesting. Thank you so much for posting. Geraldinexx
Hi again. I know what you mean about the time thing. I heard the dr ask how long did she stay in the care home, she answered , about a week. Lost two weeks somewhere. I feel much better than yesterday. I went to visit again today. It's upsetting leaving her there when its time to go. The staff actually want me to go, they say they need to see how she reacts. All she talked about today was about putting her things in the car and going home. I was hoping to have aday off tomorrow but my sister in law asked me if she could go tomorrow afternoon. Oh well, looks like im going again tomorrow.
Time for sleep now, I'm so tired, no problem sleeping anyway, Al.
Time for sleep now, I'm so tired, no problem sleeping anyway, Al.
Hi Al, how are you doing today?
I do not have firsthand experience, but I have read here on TP that frequent visits do not help PWDs to settle in their care homes.
How is your wife? Quieter ? Is she eating more (and better) than when she was at home?
Hi. After visiting every day since last Tuesday I'm feeling inclined to agree. No good for me either, a forty miles round trip and sitting for two hours with nothing really to say. She's so quiet, I really don't think she'd worry too much if I called two or three times a week instead, she thinks I'm in a room upstairs anyway. As for eating, one day she says the food is awful, next day its ok. I've got a review meeting next Friday. Hopefully I'll get answers to any concerns then. The nursing staff at the unit are excellent. Hopefully her stay at this assessment unit shouldn't be too long then perhaps a move to somewhere closer to home. One thing's certain, today I'm having a day off,
. I won't visit until Tuesday. Two days off. All the family are here this weekend, should be good? All I really want is peace and quiet. Be careful what you wish for
I'll just try to enjoy the moment. Al.
Hi Al, you sound a bit better. No wonder you want peace and quiet, which you haven't had for a long time.Hi. After visiting every day since last Tuesday I'm feeling inclined to agree. No good for me either, a forty miles round trip and sitting for two hours with nothing really to say. She's so quiet, I really don't think she'd worry too much if I called two or three times a week instead, she thinks I'm in a room upstairs anyway. As for eating, one day she says the food is awful, next day its ok. I've got a review meeting next Friday. Hopefully I'll get answers to any concerns then. The nursing staff at the unit are excellent. Hopefully her stay at this assessment unit shouldn't be too long then perhaps a move to somewhere closer to home. One thing's certain, today I'm having a day off,
. I won't visit until Tuesday. Two days off. All the family are here this weekend, should be good? All I really want is peace and quiet. Be careful what you wish for
Hope you enjoyed the weekend with your family .
