My partner and I have been caring for my mother who has Alzheimer’s mixed dementia for 3 years
We are at a point where we can no longer care for her because of her hatred of my partner and her behaviour towards us and anyone who has a connection with her we have carers in 4 mornings a week and she also goes to day care 4 days a week the carers like us are starting to struggle with her behaviour we have had a mental capacity assesment less than a year ago and the social worker felt she was fine in her own home despite the fact she answers the door and has let strangers in the house we both work full time with our own businesses she refuses to go for rest bite and expects us to be looking after her 24/7 and would not even consider residential care 3 years ago my mother was living like a hermit and she would be dead or in a home by now without our care we have been through 3 care agency’s and we now use what is considered to be the best available in the area but in general the staff are very caring but unable to follow through with mothers care plan we do all meals and leave them a list of what needs doing but we have on numerous occasions come home to find down stairs windows left open when they have taken her to day care we notified the care agency that we were installing security cameras in my mothers room so that we can watch over her in the hours she is at home alone and there is a sign on the front of the house advising about security cams these cameras had also been suggested by my mothers insurance company otherwise we would not have been covered if a carer left windows open but now after 6 months the care agency have reported us to social services and social services want another mental assesment as they say the cameras are not in mothers best interest mother is self funding and social services have done little to support her or us in the past we had to wait over a year to get a case worker who has now left .
My partner is about to leave as she can no longer take the mental abuse from my mother I understand how she feels but unable to find a workable solution for us all it’s so sad because my mother could have such a good end of life if she would just accept the changes she is hurting herself and all those trying to care for her my mother is 92 and we are in our early sixties aproaching retirement age ourselves Help......
We are at a point where we can no longer care for her because of her hatred of my partner and her behaviour towards us and anyone who has a connection with her we have carers in 4 mornings a week and she also goes to day care 4 days a week the carers like us are starting to struggle with her behaviour we have had a mental capacity assesment less than a year ago and the social worker felt she was fine in her own home despite the fact she answers the door and has let strangers in the house we both work full time with our own businesses she refuses to go for rest bite and expects us to be looking after her 24/7 and would not even consider residential care 3 years ago my mother was living like a hermit and she would be dead or in a home by now without our care we have been through 3 care agency’s and we now use what is considered to be the best available in the area but in general the staff are very caring but unable to follow through with mothers care plan we do all meals and leave them a list of what needs doing but we have on numerous occasions come home to find down stairs windows left open when they have taken her to day care we notified the care agency that we were installing security cameras in my mothers room so that we can watch over her in the hours she is at home alone and there is a sign on the front of the house advising about security cams these cameras had also been suggested by my mothers insurance company otherwise we would not have been covered if a carer left windows open but now after 6 months the care agency have reported us to social services and social services want another mental assesment as they say the cameras are not in mothers best interest mother is self funding and social services have done little to support her or us in the past we had to wait over a year to get a case worker who has now left .
My partner is about to leave as she can no longer take the mental abuse from my mother I understand how she feels but unable to find a workable solution for us all it’s so sad because my mother could have such a good end of life if she would just accept the changes she is hurting herself and all those trying to care for her my mother is 92 and we are in our early sixties aproaching retirement age ourselves Help......
