A small benefit.

[john1939]

Hello everyone. As I was clearing up the clothes which had been abandoned on the floor it came to me that an opportunity had arisen to get some long postponed work done in the house.
My wife had fiercely opposed decorating her room or the replacement of her bed, which has long outstayed it's usefulness.
However, her Alzheimers seems to have destroyed her ability to make any decision at all now, and when asked about anything her answer is "Do what you want"
I have thus ordered her a complete new bed and plans are in the pipeline to decorate her room, and just to finish off I have also ordered a new sofa for the tv room as the old one was worn out but PWD absolutely refused to consider a replacement.

 

[Grahamstown]

Hello everyone. As I was clearing up the clothes which had been abandoned on the floor it came to me that an opportunity had arisen to get some long postponed work done in the house.
My wife had fiercely opposed decorating her room or the replacement of her bed, which has long outstayed it's usefulness.
However, her Alzheimers seems to have destroyed her ability to make any decision at all now, and when asked about anything her answer is "Do what you want"
I have thus ordered her a complete new bed and plans are in the pipeline to decorate her room, and just to finish off I have also ordered a new sofa for the tv room as the old one was worn out but PWD absolutely refused to consider a replacement.

Well done you! I hope you enjoy your tv sofa.

 

[nellbelles]

I do like it when a long held plan comes to together, enjoy!

 

[GinnyJan]

Well done. I'm finding a similar attitude with my husband. He's suddenly leaving decisions to me after always being the decision-maker. It can become a little 'heady'

 

[marionq]

Before he was diagnosed my husband who had been a carpenter in the building trade for fifty years began making obvious mistakes. I went ahead and ordered a new bathroom and lighting and he made sure he was out when the workmen were in doing the work. This was totally unlike his old self and one of the signals that something was wrong.

I think decision making and judgement skills are the first to show up as a problem and certainly bothered me more than memory lapses. Now I decide everything but tell him what is happening as if it is a joint decision. He doesnt really take it in.

 

[Duggies-girl]

Before he was diagnosed my husband who had been a carpenter in the building trade for fifty years began making obvious mistakes. I went ahead and ordered a new bathroom and lighting and he made sure he was out when the workmen were in doing the work. This was totally unlike his old self and one of the signals that something was wrong.

I think decision making and judgement skills are the first to show up as a problem and certainly bothered me more than memory lapses. Now I decide everything but tell him what is happening as if it is a joint decision. He doesnt really take it in.

Yes decisions, 'tea or coffee dad' dithers 'what was the first one'. 'Tea dad' dithers again 'and the other one' 'would you like a cup of tea dad' I stopped choices long ago.

 

[maryjoan]

Yes decisions, 'tea or coffee dad' dithers 'what was the first one'. 'Tea dad' dithers again 'and the other one' 'would you like a cup of tea dad' I stopped choices long ago.

Yes - stopping choices does make life easier for the carer.I am struggling with the questions, when OH is watching TV - he keeps asking me to explain the adverts to him as he does not understand them..... I am totally unsure what he is making of the programmes. I am following England in the World Cup, as I am interested - but not fanatic. But yesterday Oh watched the same match twice once when it was happening , and again later on - too much of a good thing!!

 

[Duggies-girl]

Yes - stopping choices does make life easier for the carer.I am struggling with the questions, when OH is watching TV - he keeps asking me to explain the adverts to him as he does not understand them..... I am totally unsure what he is making of the programmes. I am following England in the World Cup, as I am interested - but not fanatic. But yesterday Oh watched the same match twice once when it was happening , and again later on - too much of a good thing!!

My dad will have seen it already, he's seen everything on TV even things that have never been on before. He never remembers the ending but he knows he has seen this bit before.

 

[john1939]

My dad will have seen it already, he's seen everything on TV even things that have never been on before. He never remembers the ending but he knows he has seen this bit before.

Thank You Duggies-girl. You have brightened my day. My wife constantly tells me that she has seen all TV programmes before. I thought she was the only one so confused.
After watching a recent film she would contend that she saw it years ago, even when I pointed out the date on the credits which is usually recent. Her reply? "Oh, they just change the dates on films so that people think that they are new"
As Morcambe and Wise used to say, "There's no answer to that"

 

[Duggies-girl]

Thank You Duggies-girl. You have brightened my day. My wife constantly tells me that she has seen all TV programmes before. I thought she was the only one so confused.
After watching a recent film she would contend that she saw it years ago, even when I pointed out the date on the credits which is usually recent. Her reply? "Oh, they just change the dates on films so that people think that they are new"
As Morcambe and Wise used to say, "There's no answer to that"

Dad has also been in every shop in Bargain Hunt (he recognises the display shelves) he has been everywhere, all when he was on a cruise and they missed a port so they had an extra port instead. Most recent new claims are Baghdad, Delhi and the Himalayas. I think maybe he sees a place or event on TV and he connects it with a previous programme that he has seen but cannot remember so his brain just tells him that he has seen it before and as it is abroad it must have been while on a cruise. Same with bargain Hunt, he has probably seen the programme before but his brain has forgotten and the only way he can make sense of it is that he has been there before.

As for the new stuff, that is odd but I think they recognise a small snippet of some thing that makes them think they have seen the whole programme before. It could be anything, a building, a car, a face or something as simple as a bit of scenery and because it is ordinary and looks like something they may have seen then they must have seen the whole thing. It's weird and I usually just nod and agree although I did ask him if Sadam Hussain was still in charge when he and mum went to Baghdad. He said he didn't know because they only had a day ashore.

I am truly amazed at times.

 

[teetoe]

Sound very familiar. Yes I think there are familiarities in everything therefore they think they have seen it, done it, or it is already theirs. My OH's standard response to everything is "Of course I have seen it/been there many times before" in a condescending tone. Points to the side of a cliff as I am driving and tells me how he has walked up it many times. In one way it is good because there is nothing on his bucket list, he has done it all. On the other hand it shoots down in flames any desperate attempt at conversation. Conversation is so limited as he is in his own la-la land most of the time.
Giving a choice is a no-no - and mostly I don't ask whether he would like something. He can't process that. I just give him food and drink and then see what happens.

 

[DaisyCat]

Sound very familiar. Yes I think there are familiarities in everything therefore they think they have seen it, done it, or it is already theirs. My OH's standard response to everything is "Of course I have seen it/been there many times before" in a condescending tone. Points to the side of a cliff as I am driving and tells me how he has walked up it many times. In one way it is good because there is nothing on his bucket list, he has done it all. On the other hand it shoots down in flames any desperate attempt at conversation. Conversation is so limited as he is in his own la-la land most of the time.
Giving a choice is a no-no - and mostly I don't ask whether he would like something. He can't process that. I just give him food and drink and then see what happens.

I'm trying to remember not to give choices! If I ask if he'd like this or that for supper, he just replies 'what are you having? I'll have the same.'

 

[teetoe]

I'm trying to remember not to give choices! If I ask if he'd like this or that for supper, he just replies 'what are you having? I'll have the same.'

Yes I think it is because they may recognise the nouns but can't remember what it is. If I ask my OH "Would you like a coffee?" he can't remember that coffee is a hot drink.

 

[kindred]

Thank You Duggies-girl. You have brightened my day. My wife constantly tells me that she has seen all TV programmes before. I thought she was the only one so confused.
After watching a recent film she would contend that she saw it years ago, even when I pointed out the date on the credits which is usually recent. Her reply? "Oh, they just change the dates on films so that people think that they are new"
As Morcambe and Wise used to say, "There's no answer to that"

ooo I wonder if that could be true??? Gx