Can I ... Should I?

[Sam Luvit]

Thank you @Earthgirl72 just talking helps, hugs always appreciated

We are at 21* already, with a promise of rain later tonight. It was hot enough yesterday I nearly got the fan out in the garden for Mum. I think I’ll get it ready after breakfast

Ugg. Nothing worse than sitting around just dying for a cool shower, but having to wait. The crisis team give you a 2 hour window of ETA, so knowing my luck I’d be in the shower as they arrived if I tried before Mum

 

[Sam Luvit]

Morning @Slugsta

Mums GP has a letter saying they can discuss anything with me, so that’s not the issue, it’s their attitude to actually providing a decent service that I struggle with. No DN visit unless the person is permanently housebound. Getting a GP visit ... not managed that lol. We got the paramedic attached to the surgery as a “that’s the best we can do” after what turned out to be her stroke & sepsis, he was brilliant with her. In fact I’d take him over her GP any day of the week.

I was thinking the GP might be my point of call, so thank you for that. At least I have a starting point. I’m very practical so I like to have thought through all the scenarios, just in case.

The hospital talked of getting a community team sorted, as she’s not going in again, I guess I’ll ask the surgery about that. I can’t believe she’s onky been home 3 days, it feels like weeks

End of life drugs???? Who wouId be talking to me about this? They’ve said she will keep falling. They’ve said she’s operating at 50%, the discharge letter is pretty morbid, but maybe I’m just seeing things that aren’t there (clutching at straws now).

 

[Slugsta]

The end of life drugs would be the 'just in case' box that Canary mentioned. Just a pack of stuff that can be put to one side (but accessible) and forgotten about until/unless it is needed. Think of it as an insurance policy against needing to get these things in the middle of the night!

Mum was sent from hospital with these drugs, my MIL's Palliative Care team provided them (don't forget that Palliative Care is not just for people with cancer). Your Mum's GP should be able to sort them out (or get District Nurses to do so).

 

[Sam Luvit]

Phoned the chemist. No surprise they know nothing of meds changing. They offered to get a driver to pick up the discharge letter, copy it & return. That is service

Phoned the surgery. Whole mess of not visiting unless she is permanently house bound. Hmmm to that. I just cried. Can’t be bothered with arguing. They are coming out

I will pin down whoever comes & demand the facts in plain English. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have to take up offers

Mum has been snoozing in the garden all day, drinking water & in the shade. Lots of waking, looking around & settling again. She is now complaining of a sore bum :-(

S (ex cleaner as she’s too busy) popped in to say Hi, Mum needed prompting as to who she was, then remembered, but dozed off again.

Pooch is curled up under mums chair, keeping out the sun

 

[Marnie63]

Just saw your comments about end of life stuff and GPs @Sam Luvit . I realise that not everyone may have such a supportive GP as we have (yes, we are lucky, and I very much appreciate it), but hopefully you may find that they surprise you with some good support. I've had some very candid conversations with our GP about mum and asked some very difficult questions. He has been extremely helpful in running through exactly what I need to do if she dies 'unexpectedly' in the night, and also what can be done as and when the dementia reaches certain stages. It has reassured me that they will help me as and when mum reaches any uncomfortable or painful stage, or indeed when she dies. It's a really weird thing to talk about when someone is still living, but I found it helpful. He even signed an extra document, on top of the DNR we already have, to prevent any further hospitalisations. I don't think there's anyone else to go to on a medical front once you have care in place and are adamant that your PWD will be staying at home to the end (that's me!), so I thinking building up a good relationship with your/your mum's GP ahead of any major events can only help.

Of course not everyone is such a control freak as myself, but I do like to be prepared for everything, even the difficult stuff.

 

[Sam Luvit]

I’ve always said, “if you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question”. Well, I asked the question.

P the paramedic is going to talk it over with mums GP, make sure “no hospital admission” is added to her notes & discuss what happens now. I will get a call “soon”

With so many fractures, especially the pelvis one, there is a high risk of a clot. That could be in an hour or any time. With everything else going on, especially the “innumerable small micro bleeds” & “severe small vessel disease” this journey is coming to an end soon.

He said she isn’t palliative yet, but it’s soon, I need to be prepared for that.

So. Here I am. Mums snoozing in the lounge. Pooch is lying near her & I’m ignoring everything.

 

[2jays]

You asked the questions. You got answers. Even though we may have a suspicion of what some answers may be..... still a numbing shock

Squishy hugs xxxxx

 

[Izzy]

I'm sorry to hear this Sam.

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi @Marnie63

Unfortunately mums GP isn’t even reading the same book or in the same library as me, never mind on the same page. I was so relieved to see P the paramedic turn up. He’s kind, thorough & honest. He’s my kind of medic.

I need to organise what I can & plan for what I can’t, with all scenarios covered. I’m not cold hearted, I’m just very practical, hence wanting answers.

Now I have some answers, I need to get my head back on & carry on

 

[Sam Luvit]

I guess a tiny bit if me was hoping I was being melodramatic & she wouId be back to baseline in a few days, even though it’s pretty blooming obvious that ain’t gonna happen. I needed confirmation even if I didn’t really want to hear it.

Squishy hugs accepted @2jays , now off you trott & enjoy your break from life’s trials

 

[Sam Luvit]

I'm sorry to hear this Sam.

Thank you @Izzy

 

[canary]

Yes, you was reasonable to ask the questions and you have the answers.
At least you know that she is not yet at end of life and this stage can go on for some time

(((((hugs))))))

 

[2jays]

Wish I could @Sam Luvit Im looking after another grand kid bug. This time I’ve made it my own. Adult scarlet fever - aka Streptococcal A

And there was me thinking scarlet fever went down with titanic.... obviously not

 

[Slugsta]

Sam, it is not easy to hear this kind of thing - even more so as your mum is relatively young

2Js, sorry you are poorly. Scarlet Fever has reared its head again due to antibiotics being used less for tonsillitis - and I think that will only get worse in the future.

 

[rainbowcat]

Sam, re housebound - is your mum not actually housebound now? My father is classed as housebound, he doesn't (can't) ever go out anywhere, and IF there's something that cannot come to him (ie: recent appt for diabetic eye screening) he has to have carers in to wash, dress and prepare him for the journey and appt.

From what you've said here, it certainly sounds like your mum is now housebound (is she able to leave the house without intervention, motivate enough to get ready, understand what she's getting ready for?), and I would be telling the DN and GP etc exactly that.

 

[Batsue]

Unfortunately mums GP isn’t even reading the same book or in the same library as me, never mind on the same page. I was so relieved to see P the paramedic turn up. He’s kind, thorough & honest. He’s my kind of medic.

I need to organise what I can & plan for what I can’t, with all scenarios covered. I’m not cold hearted, I’m just very practical, hence wanting answers.

Now I have some answers, I need to get my head back on & carry on

There is nothing cold hearted about wanting to be prepared, sending you a hug.

 

[Earthgirl72]

I echo what the others have said. It's not cold hearted - it's for your sanity! I have had numerous little comments from health professionals regarding dad. One was the throwaway comment of the falls being down to the heart failure - wait what now? Then the Dr's remark that I knew he didn't have long - again - what? I have now taken to telling all the professionals that actually, I am a big girl, yes I can deal with the truth, so for the love of god just tell me what is actually going on!
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If it's bad, then for god's sake tell me, it's better to know surely? Trying dad with daycare again today. Cross everything

Oops, I rambled again! Hoping that you have a peaceful day. Sending hugs as always, and the offer to pour a large CM once the sun is over the yard arm. Surely it's always over the yard arm somewhere?

 

[Sam Luvit]

Wish I could @Sam Luvit Im looking after another grand kid bug. This time I’ve made it my own. Adult scarlet fever - aka Streptococcal A

And there was me thinking scarlet fever went down with titanic.... obviously not

Sorry @2jays that must be yuk, hope you feel better soon. I’ll gown n mask up fir a hug

 

[Sam Luvit]

Morning @Slugsta

No, not easy to hear, but I had a call this morning from ASC to arrange an assessment, so it seems the doctor got in touch immediately.... that’s a first for him

 

[Sam Luvit]

Morning @rainbowcat

Mum can’t dress herself without help, she furniture walks if she’s desperate for the loo & I've chosen that moment to leave the room, but stairs & steps are dangerous. She certainly couldn’t get out the house without help, so I’d say she is housebound. Her GP insists on “permanently”, not temporary...