I would like to know if anyone knows anything about my mums symptoms......She had a progressive opera singing to her. First it was a 'young man' now referred to as 'lover boy' who no longer sings at her window but a woman has taken over with a young girl that she teaches who is out of tune. My dad and myself have tried every which way to get gp support, there are no other symptoms other than memory loss(STM) with a fantastic cover up...really good but it is driving my dad mad because is it so irrational in thought and she can be quite aggressive. I have some knowledge of dementia but this stumps me. Has any one had similar experiences or ideas ....I would love a chat cos I am at a loose end. thanks
daughter/new member
- Thread starter maddy01
- Start date
hi welcome to tp
sorry I can't help someone with more experiance than me will be along soon I just wanted to make you know someone is reading
sorry I can't help someone with more experiance than me will be along soon I just wanted to make you know someone is reading
I don't know for sure what your Mum's symptoms mean, but like heartbroken, just letting you know that someone is reading (this is a bad time of the day/night to get responses as the majority of members are in bed asleep).
However I can also tell you that it is not overly rare for dementia sufferers to 'see/hear/interact with' people/things that non-dementia sufferers can't so maybe that news will at least make you feel less alone/concerned.
My Dad who has dementia, used to talk about people in the room that we couldn't see, sometimes they were friendly people, sometimes they were people who were no longer alive, sometimes they were people/things that he thought were 'bad' or even seemed to scare him.
The thing we found, and I think others on hear have also often found that it is best not to argue with the dementia sufferer about this alternative reality that they have. They will get defensive if you tell them nothing is there, they will get hurt or they will get angry. I used to be able to compromise with my Dad to a certain extent however and tell him that even though I actually couldn't see them, I had no doubts that they were there for him - I used to use this tactic only when he was scared or angry at whatever he was seeing and I am not sure that it can work for other people, it may be that Dad was still in some ways able to rationalise. It helped him in these situations because I could show him that the person/thing wasn't scaring me or offending me, and that seemed to calm him.
I am not sure from your post however whether your mother has been diagnosed with dementia at this point, or whether you are suspecting it because of her symptoms? Maybe if you described more about what her short term memory loss was like (i.e. is she just forgetful or does she lose chunks of whole days?) and described more about her hallucinations (i.e. is she only hearing the singing or is she seeing the singers as well? Does she talk to the halluncinations?) someone might be able to help more.
Best wishes in finding the answers that you need.
However I can also tell you that it is not overly rare for dementia sufferers to 'see/hear/interact with' people/things that non-dementia sufferers can't so maybe that news will at least make you feel less alone/concerned.
My Dad who has dementia, used to talk about people in the room that we couldn't see, sometimes they were friendly people, sometimes they were people who were no longer alive, sometimes they were people/things that he thought were 'bad' or even seemed to scare him.
The thing we found, and I think others on hear have also often found that it is best not to argue with the dementia sufferer about this alternative reality that they have. They will get defensive if you tell them nothing is there, they will get hurt or they will get angry. I used to be able to compromise with my Dad to a certain extent however and tell him that even though I actually couldn't see them, I had no doubts that they were there for him - I used to use this tactic only when he was scared or angry at whatever he was seeing and I am not sure that it can work for other people, it may be that Dad was still in some ways able to rationalise. It helped him in these situations because I could show him that the person/thing wasn't scaring me or offending me, and that seemed to calm him.
I am not sure from your post however whether your mother has been diagnosed with dementia at this point, or whether you are suspecting it because of her symptoms? Maybe if you described more about what her short term memory loss was like (i.e. is she just forgetful or does she lose chunks of whole days?) and described more about her hallucinations (i.e. is she only hearing the singing or is she seeing the singers as well? Does she talk to the halluncinations?) someone might be able to help more.
Best wishes in finding the answers that you need.
singing
Hi My mother has the singing most days and all I say is if it is a good tune enjoy it, which she is content with. The people that are never there is a daily occurence but as she is never afraid of them ,she just chats to them and they disappear,in more lucid moments she admits she knows they are not there[it is rare].My personal theory is the brain is actually recalling past events because it can not deal with the present.Best wishes Suzy
Hi My mother has the singing most days and all I say is if it is a good tune enjoy it, which she is content with. The people that are never there is a daily occurence but as she is never afraid of them ,she just chats to them and they disappear,in more lucid moments she admits she knows they are not there[it is rare].My personal theory is the brain is actually recalling past events because it can not deal with the present.Best wishes Suzy
Hi Maddy, welcome to TP.
I've no experience of your mum's symptoms, but I'd suggest going along with her. Arguing, or telling her she's imagining the singing, will make her aggressive.
I don't know if you've tried this, perhaps that's not the cause of her aggression, but if not, it's worth a try.
The key thing will delusions/hallucinations is that they are not delusions to the person with dementia, they are reality, and you have to go along with that, and enter into their world.
All the best,
I've no experience of your mum's symptoms, but I'd suggest going along with her. Arguing, or telling her she's imagining the singing, will make her aggressive.
I don't know if you've tried this, perhaps that's not the cause of her aggression, but if not, it's worth a try.
The key thing will delusions/hallucinations is that they are not delusions to the person with dementia, they are reality, and you have to go along with that, and enter into their world.
All the best,
Hi Maddy
My Mum has voices, thats how her Alzheimers started. The voices took over her life for a while to her it was reality and nothing any one else said could make a difference. The consultant said she was having a psychotic episode they have treated her with anti psychotic medication the voices haven't gone completely, she still talks to other people that are not there. But it isn't as distressing as it was in the beginning and no where near as frequent. Her short term memory is awful.
just a thought about being something from the past. I was talking with an old friend whose mother in law, had AD and she told me how she would always go on about and orange sofa with a monkey sitting on it. Every one assumed it was part of the disease, after she passed away. When the family went through old photographs. There was a picture taken out in Africa many, many years ago and in it was the monkey and the orange sofa. Only then did it make sense.
Hope you find some answer that will help.
Lanie
My Mum has voices, thats how her Alzheimers started. The voices took over her life for a while to her it was reality and nothing any one else said could make a difference. The consultant said she was having a psychotic episode they have treated her with anti psychotic medication the voices haven't gone completely, she still talks to other people that are not there. But it isn't as distressing as it was in the beginning and no where near as frequent. Her short term memory is awful.
just a thought about being something from the past. I was talking with an old friend whose mother in law, had AD and she told me how she would always go on about and orange sofa with a monkey sitting on it. Every one assumed it was part of the disease, after she passed away. When the family went through old photographs. There was a picture taken out in Africa many, many years ago and in it was the monkey and the orange sofa. Only then did it make sense.
Hope you find some answer that will help.
Lanie
Hi Maddy, welcome and sorry to hear of your mum's problems. I'm assuming from your posts that your mum has not had any diagnosis. The first thing you need to do is go back to the GP. Go without your mum. Explain that your mum is having auditory hallucinations, short term memory loss, is irrational and sometimes aggressive. TELL the GP that he needs to refer your mum to a psychiatrist. Hallucinations are a sign that all is not well (it could be caused by many things and not necessarily dementia.)
My mam first reported that there were 'people living in the attic'. The GP said it was menopausal imbalance. She was 63 at the time! Turned out she has dementia (FTD) caused by motor neuron disease.
Don't be fobbed off. You know your mum best.
Wishing you the best of luck, and hoping your mum has a treatable/reversable problem, berni x
My mam first reported that there were 'people living in the attic'. The GP said it was menopausal imbalance. She was 63 at the time! Turned out she has dementia (FTD) caused by motor neuron disease.
Don't be fobbed off. You know your mum best.
Wishing you the best of luck, and hoping your mum has a treatable/reversable problem, berni x
opera singers
thankyou so much for replying, it is goodto know people are out there! what a godsend really.
I have phoned the GP when my mums singers were very prominant in march. He said that he could'nt do anything on my say so and because of confidentiality etc... that was it. If she was 'at risk' he could section. My dad and I have seriously tried to get her to the GP, she did go once with my dad but denied anything was wrong and my dad did'nt use the situation well to explain. Since then we (my dad and me) have really thought that maybe a diagnosis is not worthy, to put my mum through all the testing would increase her anxiety etc and since she'sin such denial? it would be a bit fruitless. but then is that the wrong desicion. Do I write to the doctor?
I have moved to be nearer to them to support. My dad has parkinsons too. What a mess. She does seem to get distressed quite frequently, usually in the morning but I never see this. Where do we go with this? I dont want her admitted to a psychiatric ward it would kill her literally.but i dont want my dad to get worn out either.They dont want help yet.
thankyou so much for replying, it is goodto know people are out there! what a godsend really.
I have phoned the GP when my mums singers were very prominant in march. He said that he could'nt do anything on my say so and because of confidentiality etc... that was it. If she was 'at risk' he could section. My dad and I have seriously tried to get her to the GP, she did go once with my dad but denied anything was wrong and my dad did'nt use the situation well to explain. Since then we (my dad and me) have really thought that maybe a diagnosis is not worthy, to put my mum through all the testing would increase her anxiety etc and since she'sin such denial? it would be a bit fruitless. but then is that the wrong desicion. Do I write to the doctor?
I have moved to be nearer to them to support. My dad has parkinsons too. What a mess. She does seem to get distressed quite frequently, usually in the morning but I never see this. Where do we go with this? I dont want her admitted to a psychiatric ward it would kill her literally.but i dont want my dad to get worn out either.They dont want help yet.
Perhaps you should try the GP again. I find my Mums GP very supportive and understanding. My Mum was given medication, unfortunately she has ended up in hospital while they assess her, it isn't a great place but she has received the right treatment and her delusions have improved.
My mum ended up in hospital because we were unable to cope she wouldn't, eat, drink take her medication or anything. But before she went in she was visited at home by a consultant psycharist and a community nurse. If she hadn't been so bad she wouldn't have gone in. So what I think I'm trying to say is don't feel she'll have to go to hospital. Also to have someone sectioned many people have to be involved and the person has to be at risk of harming themselves or others.
Lanie
My mum ended up in hospital because we were unable to cope she wouldn't, eat, drink take her medication or anything. But before she went in she was visited at home by a consultant psycharist and a community nurse. If she hadn't been so bad she wouldn't have gone in. So what I think I'm trying to say is don't feel she'll have to go to hospital. Also to have someone sectioned many people have to be involved and the person has to be at risk of harming themselves or others.
Lanie
