I always start with new posts as I get lost with the endless threads....I cannot keep track.
Went out with my son last night to hear Jeff Beck. It was very enjoyable. Jeff Beck had a young woman playing electric cello, integrated into his pieces. And he had a woman bass player. It was a good evening.
Good to be with my son.
But this morning, I am listening to a tried and true favorite Beethoven's 7th Sinfonie. I find I return to classical music, always. Particularly, symphonic music. Sadly, Nick has never had any interest in music. Many Alzheimers patients relate and enjoy music....but not my Nick. He was never very interested. He supported all my activities sweet man, with music but it was just not his thing. But a magnificent tree, an alpen landscape, a dense green forest....these things bring him intense pleasure and the physical activity which accompanies the opportunity to be part of the music of the spheres, this is where he finds joy.... long may it last..
Nelly, our old housekeeper, and her lovely little dog (Nick is a total dog lover) came to stay with Nick while I went out to the concert last night. She stayed with him part of the time I was in Greece. He was in bed when I came home from the concert. And she sat with me. She asked me how long I thought I could go on like this. She said he is so much worse than he was even a few months ago. so anxious, obsessive, confused and so unsettled. I am so used to it all, luckily, I am able to go with this flow most of the time. I told her as long as she is coming to help me and my other team of people I am able to go on. And it is so true, I am blessed that I have this team of supporters.
Nick quit taking his meds again about 3 or 4 weeks ago (as discussed here on TP) and Professor Leyhe (who helped me get Nick to keep taking the meds about 18 months ago, when I discovered he was just pocketing them or hiding them in an eyeglass case) has said to let it go, as the Aricept most probably has little effect now. But since returning from Greece I am so aware of his nervous and anxious behaviors....the eyeglass cases, the sock drawer and of course, his collection of pocket knives which he keeps in the bedroom.
I had to take Nick in to town on Wednesday to have his eyeglass fixed for the gegillionth time. I suggested he might have his eyes tested and get new sturdier frames. Of course, he objected and would not cooperate with the clerk. So dear Beni (our Eritrean walker/carer), took him in for the eye test on Thursday and got him to select some new plastic frames which I hope will be more durable. Bless Beni, I so appreciate all he does for me. Nick likes him and trusts him. But Nick does not like and trust me all the time...I also had to order him a new bank card as he could not remember his code and entered too many times....perhaps I should leave it. But then he forgot that the card was not working and is obsessed the the mobile phone which is working but he has not been able to operate it for a long time...it is a simple one with only four pads with four numbers, mine , our sons, our daughters and my dear friend. Drip drip drip....the slow drip of loss.
One day one day at a time. Today, its the grandbabies and fun in the garden....I receive so much pleasure observing their young developing minds as they make new discoveries and the excitement of simple things, which in my caring role, I so often overlook. Open my eyes today to joy and beauty, let me be aware. And of course, help me to practice patience, love and kindness to all those I encounter today.
Went out with my son last night to hear Jeff Beck. It was very enjoyable. Jeff Beck had a young woman playing electric cello, integrated into his pieces. And he had a woman bass player. It was a good evening.
Good to be with my son.
But this morning, I am listening to a tried and true favorite Beethoven's 7th Sinfonie. I find I return to classical music, always. Particularly, symphonic music. Sadly, Nick has never had any interest in music. Many Alzheimers patients relate and enjoy music....but not my Nick. He was never very interested. He supported all my activities sweet man, with music but it was just not his thing. But a magnificent tree, an alpen landscape, a dense green forest....these things bring him intense pleasure and the physical activity which accompanies the opportunity to be part of the music of the spheres, this is where he finds joy.... long may it last..
Nelly, our old housekeeper, and her lovely little dog (Nick is a total dog lover) came to stay with Nick while I went out to the concert last night. She stayed with him part of the time I was in Greece. He was in bed when I came home from the concert. And she sat with me. She asked me how long I thought I could go on like this. She said he is so much worse than he was even a few months ago. so anxious, obsessive, confused and so unsettled. I am so used to it all, luckily, I am able to go with this flow most of the time. I told her as long as she is coming to help me and my other team of people I am able to go on. And it is so true, I am blessed that I have this team of supporters.
Nick quit taking his meds again about 3 or 4 weeks ago (as discussed here on TP) and Professor Leyhe (who helped me get Nick to keep taking the meds about 18 months ago, when I discovered he was just pocketing them or hiding them in an eyeglass case) has said to let it go, as the Aricept most probably has little effect now. But since returning from Greece I am so aware of his nervous and anxious behaviors....the eyeglass cases, the sock drawer and of course, his collection of pocket knives which he keeps in the bedroom.
I had to take Nick in to town on Wednesday to have his eyeglass fixed for the gegillionth time. I suggested he might have his eyes tested and get new sturdier frames. Of course, he objected and would not cooperate with the clerk. So dear Beni (our Eritrean walker/carer), took him in for the eye test on Thursday and got him to select some new plastic frames which I hope will be more durable. Bless Beni, I so appreciate all he does for me. Nick likes him and trusts him. But Nick does not like and trust me all the time...I also had to order him a new bank card as he could not remember his code and entered too many times....perhaps I should leave it. But then he forgot that the card was not working and is obsessed the the mobile phone which is working but he has not been able to operate it for a long time...it is a simple one with only four pads with four numbers, mine , our sons, our daughters and my dear friend. Drip drip drip....the slow drip of loss.
One day one day at a time. Today, its the grandbabies and fun in the garden....I receive so much pleasure observing their young developing minds as they make new discoveries and the excitement of simple things, which in my caring role, I so often overlook. Open my eyes today to joy and beauty, let me be aware. And of course, help me to practice patience, love and kindness to all those I encounter today.
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