placing mum inna home

[Mrs Badger]

Put my mum in a care home today, dreaded it didnt sleep last night anxious etcHad her over fir lunch gave her a lovely treat, she had a bathroom accident which was awfull in this heat. Took her back to her home town 17 miles away but to the care home i had booked her into she never said a word and went in sat down and accepted it all! Very excited in fact as lonely at home. Couldnt believe my luck she said i was the best daughter in law, i am actualy her daughter!
Returned to her room to unpack etc and she said “money” i said you have £30 and change she then changed and carer saw the difference in her really aggressive, we said that is enough she was not happy so i left. Watch this space.

 

[Bod]

Welcome
It can be hard to do what has to be done.

Bod

 

[SiJol]

Not easy, I hope it goes well.

 

[Kikki21]

Honestly I dreaded how my mum would react going into a home but she went in there from the small hospital she was in & has somehow settled in. It is still early days but somehow she accepts it as another type of hospital extension & has made a friend there plus she is socialising & doing activities.

It must be so much better for her than living at home on her own which she was struggling with.

 

[kindred]

Hi Mrs Badger
I'm sure you've done the right thing - and managed it very well. We always dreaded taking my aunt to a care home and couldn't imagine how we'd actually do it. In the event the (independent) social worker took her from hospital direct to the home. She was so glad to leave the hospital she went along with it - then got very angry when she realised it was a home. We're still grateful that we didn't have to do it. You've been so brave.

Yes, it does help to have this done. I wonder if this is something SS could help us with? The hospital discharged my Oh straight to the home and when I got there he had already made a friend ...I'm so glad you had a good experience with this, too.

 

[DeMartin]

Mum went straight from hospital to the care home, on hospital transport. She rationalised this into “I went to help keep the old men in their clothes “ Mum was a nurse and still thinks she is nursing in the care home, she complains about the hours and the low pay..

 

[Andyp101]

I can only sympathize. Putting Mum into a care home was something I had put off for months. Those months really took a toll on me. When finally I made the decision I felt like the worst son in the world. However Mum has settled well. As I've said before the walk from the dining room to her room should take two minutes but takes an extra twenty minutes because she stops at every staff member to give them a hug, a kiss and a 'I love you'. They are wonderful with her. They dance with her while getting her dressed, sing, sit on the bed and listen to her music.

I worry. I keep asking her 'Are you happy?' and all she is worried about is if I'm all right. The bottom line is that she is safe. They are there for her 24 hours a day. They have shift work and can spread the work load of looking after someone with dementia and they are distanced from the distress of a family connection. I am only now, some three or four months later, beginning to appreciate the stress Mum's condition put me under. It was not her fault and I don't think as a son I will ever not worry about her but she is comfortable and well and happy.