At the end of my tether...

[Rolypoly]

Well he was in bed wearing his pjs beforehand, so it sort of figures

 

[Bunpoots]

I've been trying to get in touch with dad's social worker since she promised to call and let me know what'shappening re his care plan. Over two weeks and I can't reach her and she's not calling me back.
Today I left another message and got a call from a man who didn't know who I was but I'd left him a message...he was from the cared for children department!!!!

What's going on???

 

[Rolypoly]

I have no experience of sw and from the sound of it I’m not missing anything!
Maybe, unlike most of us, she is lucky enough to be on holiday and forgot to mention it, or she might, like the rest of us, be snowed under with work, or she’s hopeless at organising and prioritising. Maybe she’s just hopeless.
Does a sw’s work load cover the full age range, hence no goes to a child’s department?
All I can suggest is could you call in at the offices and demand, sorry that should be ask politely, to see someone, anyone. Another option is to phone, for the zillionth time I know, and ask to speak to someone more senior otherwise you will put in a complaint and your dad will be at crisis point.

 

[Bunpoots]

Thanks @Rolypoly

It's not all the same department. I tried for "older adults" and ended up with "cared for children" The guy who called me didn't seem surprised that a wrong caller had been forwarded to him. So either it happens a lot - or he's Vulcan!!

I've been on the phone most of the afternoon and eventually managed to talk to a person. Couldn't get thru to complaints dept. So either everyone's complaining or they're on holiday too..

 

[Rolypoly]

As long as that person didn’t say “I’ll get someone to call you back” . Good luck, you’re goin* to need it!

 

[Bunpoots]

As long as that person didn’t say “I’ll get someone to call you back” . Good luck, you’re goin* to need it!

 

[Neston]

Thanks @canary . I'm in the process of removing all his cloth pants ASAP but he seems to have found some strays!! SS are coming to assess his care needs in 3 weeks so this will be going on the list of things he needs help with. Hopefully that will sort out the morning and evening dressing but the daytime change, which he needs now is more problematic..

I'm wondering if I can get away with a sneaky yank at the side of the pull-ups and "oh dear dad they've ripped. I'll get you a new pair..." Or wether to go with "The doctor says you need to wear these special pants to avoid pressure sores and you have to change them three times a day..." Because he doesn't wet himself...ever!!!!

Can't see him being thrilled with either

I know this is an awful problem and my heart really does bleed for you; however, I have to congratulate you on your so, so, amusing way of relating your cares and woes. Your 'derring do's' actually made me laugh out loud. That said, please don't think I'm trivialising them but your narrative is such a tonic in my bleak existence as a carer. x

 

[Bunpoots]

I know this is an awful problem and my heart really does bleed for you; however, I have to congratulate you on your so, so, amusing way of relating your cares and woes. Your 'derring do's' actually made me laugh out loud. That said, please don't think I'm trivialising them but your narrative is such a tonic in my bleak existence as a carer. x

Thank you .

I frequently have to sneak off to the kitchen to laugh at dad's shenanigans...

If I didn't laugh I'd cry - and where would that get me?

 

[Neston]

Thank you .

I frequently have to sneak off to the kitchen to laugh at dad's shenanigans...

If I didn't laugh I'd cry - and where would that get me?

Thank you .

I frequently have to sneak off to the kitchen to laugh at dad's shenanigans...

If I didn't laugh I'd cry - and where would that get me?

I so admire you. You are a shining example - I wish you lived next door!!

 

[Bunpoots]

I'm really fed up now. 2 loads of washing today. Stripped bed, remade it, dad sat on it and...had to do it all again. I'm going to lose my rag with him if he doesn't start wearing the pull-ups

Apparently there's someone coming into his house with a watering can and watering everywhere

I've emailed SS and told them I can't go on and they have a duty of care etc etc. Not holding my breath though...

And of course I won't really quit.

Got a visit from dad's CPN tomorrow. It'll be me that needs the psychiatric help soon ..

 

[kindred]

I'm really fed up now. 2 loads of washing today. Stripped bed, remade it, dad sat on it and...had to do it all again. I'm going to lose my rag with him if he doesn't start wearing the pull-ups

Apparently there's someone coming into his house with a watering can and watering everywhere

I've emailed SS and told them I can't go on and they have a duty of care etc etc. Not holding my breath though...

And of course I won't really quit.

Got a visit from dad's CPN tomorrow. It'll be me that needs the psychiatric help soon ..

Good to hear from you but so sorry it is so tough. I will be very interested to know the response of SS! I know, all this washing and making and remaking the bed. My OH used to pull the duvet off and carry it around with him all through the house, all down the stairs, bit like a child with a comforter. Does anyone else have experience of this? I so wish your dad would wear the pullups. with you all way.

 

[Rolypoly]

I’ve not had this excuse, we are still on spilt water! I’m with you on finding it very wearing.

Good luck with CPN visit tomorrow.

 

[Bunpoots]

I resisted the temptation to say that it wasn't a watering can - just his personal hose pipe

 

[Rolypoly]

Hilarious .

 

[Bunpoots]

I've just got home from visiting dad. The CPN come to see us so I've told her all about the trouble I've had with trying to get in touch with social services and she's made some calls for me. (Still not holding my breath!!). Apparently there is no file on my dad and his social worker has disappeared.

Maybe it's me that's got dementia and she was all in my imagination

I'm going to have to find an agency and set up something privately which should be interesting as dad definitely doesn't need any help and the only reason he doesn't feed himself etc etc is that he's too lazy. At least this is what he's told my daughter who is busy shampooing his carpets that don't smell because he never wets himself..

Now where's that person with the watering can...

At least he was wearing his pull-ups (but he had to check)

 

[Rolypoly]

Lol mum always has to check if I ask whether she has a pad! We have to clean the carpet to get rid of the stains from food she hasn’t dropped .

How about telling your dad that the carers are there to do his meals because he is too lazy?

 

[Bunpoots]

Daughter's back now from shampooing the carpets. Thank goodness for that machine! The water was yellow . Day said she had to use a hosepipe (not dad's - the one attached to to outside tap) to clean out my bissell as she didn't want to infect anything inside with the contents .

How about telling your dad that the carers are there to do his meals because he is too lazy?

I'll try that @Rolypoly

He was moaning to daughter, after I left, that the CPN did nothing, just "sat on her fat bum and squashed my cushion"

 

[Bunpoots]

Bring out the champagne - the social worker has finally called me back!!

So that's what the CPN achieved while she was squashing dad's cushion

Of course I was halfway up a really steep hill on my bike when she called . Still it gave me a good excuse to walk to the top

 

[kindred]

Bring out the champagne - the social worker has finally called me back!!

So that's what the CPN achieved while she was squashing dad's cushion

Of course I was halfway up a really steep hill on my bike when she called . Still it gave me a good excuse to walk to the top

WELL HOW GOOD IS THIS!!

 

[Rolypoly]

Yay, so sw really exists so you must be okay. Now for the hard part...are they actually doing anything?

I think your dad could do with a carer to plump up his cushions!