Partners ill health,my husband has alzheimers is worried sick abt my health
- Thread starter lena42
- Start date
Hello and welcome to TP. I hope you find this a friendly and supportive place.
My partner also gets worried about my health as I think she constantly worries about what will happen to her if I'm not around. It's tiring but I find that bucket loads of reassurance is required.
However, when all is said and done, I think they have a point as carers are prone to think of themselves last, when it should be the other way round to ensure they will be of use to both themselves and the person with dementia.
There is an AS Factsheet about the issue and, in case you haven't seen it yet, here's a link to it https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/sites...downloads/carers_-_looking_after_yourself.pdf
There is also a great thread about communication with the memory impaired and here's a link to it too https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/
My OH gets angry when I am ill or unable for some other reason to give him attention.
I think that deep down he knows that he needs me to look after him and is afraid about when will happen if I cant. Their world narrows so that they can only see their own wants, needs and comforts and their instinct for survival kicks in.
At the moment I have not been able to give OH my full attention for the last 3 weeks and my back is very painful, so I am having to get OH to do more. He is just not coping with me not putting him at the centre of my life and has come out with a massive eczema attack all over his back, which he is constantly scratching and making it bleed. Im having to put cream all over his back and there is lots more washing where he has got blood all over bedding, towels and clothing. Its almost as if he is forcing me to take more notice of him again (even though I know it is not deliberate).
He has lost empathy and is unable to understand that if he just didnt make so much fuss I would get better quicker
I think that deep down he knows that he needs me to look after him and is afraid about when will happen if I cant. Their world narrows so that they can only see their own wants, needs and comforts and their instinct for survival kicks in.
At the moment I have not been able to give OH my full attention for the last 3 weeks and my back is very painful, so I am having to get OH to do more. He is just not coping with me not putting him at the centre of my life and has come out with a massive eczema attack all over his back, which he is constantly scratching and making it bleed. Im having to put cream all over his back and there is lots more washing where he has got blood all over bedding, towels and clothing. Its almost as if he is forcing me to take more notice of him again (even though I know it is not deliberate).
He has lost empathy and is unable to understand that if he just didnt make so much fuss I would get better quicker
Oh my dear, I do hope you feel better soon I do know and understand this one. I was ill and trying to cope with his needs and mine and found myself begging him for mercy ...
Thank you all for your replies, my OH has always been my rock and now i have to be his, after 52 years its a hard reversal to learn. I have always been fit and well so to not be able to do the things ive always done is very upsetting and i guess im to proud to ask for help.thanks for listening. Lena
Unfortunately, with dementia we have to swallow our pride and grab every offer of help with both hands as eventually the disease becomes too much for one person to cope with on their own. I have to keep reminding myself that if I wasnt there OH would have to move into a care home, so I have to look after myself too.
