I am struggling, but I need to do this for many reasons.
How do others manage to work from home.... if they do at all?
How do others manage to work from home.... if they do at all?
Do any other 24/7 Carers of a PWD ( mid stage) try to work from Home?
- Thread starter maryjoan
- Start date
I struggle immensely- recently had my request to work from home 1 day per week denied, I work 30 hrs per week. This is from an employer with a huge research grant working in the field of Alzheimer's. I don't know what to do. It's clear husband needs more support. Yes I need to think about outside help, but will struggle financially due to cost involved. Also being a private person, the thought of having strangers in my home while I'm at work terrifies me. Been scanning internet for jobs at home, but pay is low. I'm exhausted and feel like I'm letting husband down.
When OH could no longer be left all day, I had to give up, although he came on a couple of 1 week courses I ran. I primed my second in command and she assisted as and when. But it was still stressful.
Please note that I was already past retirement age, and OH was walking well in those days ( as was I!)
I think I finally gave up in 2010 or 2011. He died in 2015.
Please note that I was already past retirement age, and OH was walking well in those days ( as was I!)
I think I finally gave up in 2010 or 2011. He died in 2015.
I tried to carry on working but became impossible. I left one job to start another with more convenient hours and left that one after a few months and now I am jobless. No option to work from home.
I still study and that is done at home but that also is suffering.
A year ago I worked and looked after dad and studied. I also went out sometimes but rarely now.
Oh well.
I used to do voluntary research and data processing for the NLS and various genealogical groups. I loved doing it and thank goodness got a good few years after retirement to concentrate on it but had to give up about four years ago as John just could not settle when I was absorbed in something else.
Two years ago I bought a new laptop with the intention of getting back to it but it languishes untouched. My iPad and iPhone don't look as threatening to him.
Two years ago I bought a new laptop with the intention of getting back to it but it languishes untouched. My iPad and iPhone don't look as threatening to him.
All sympathy, it is so hard to concentrate and keep a thought. What are you studying? Thank you for posting.
This is such an insight to me - I keep thinking it's me, that's getting it wrong - but I see it's the dementia that is spilling ever more into my life from his.
I try to work when he is asleep, he is dozing now, but I need to go and cut the lawn. We need the money my work brings in, but also I need the self respect as well.
What is retiring age in this country anyway? I will be 70 at Christmas, and had not planned on giving up work. But it is increasingly squashed in between everything else....
there we are !!
I try to work when he is asleep, he is dozing now, but I need to go and cut the lawn. We need the money my work brings in, but also I need the self respect as well.
What is retiring age in this country anyway? I will be 70 at Christmas, and had not planned on giving up work. But it is increasingly squashed in between everything else....
there we are !!
I think it's 66 o 67 at the moment. Check it out on google. Yes, dementia is a hungry beast and will take all our time. It's not you getting it wrong, not at all. Yes, I so understand about your self respect. We need to keep areas that are not about dementia. It must not be the only story we have to tell, although of course it is very hard for it not to be. Lovely to hear from you, thank you.This is such an insight to me - I keep thinking it's me, that's getting it wrong - but I see it's the dementia that is spilling ever more into my life from his.
I try to work when he is asleep, he is dozing now, but I need to go and cut the lawn. We need the money my work brings in, but also I need the self respect as well.
What is retiring age in this country anyway? I will be 70 at Christmas, and had not planned on giving up work. But it is increasingly squashed in between everything else....
there we are !!
I have another 11 years before I qualify for state pension. How do people manage financially? It's frightening.
Yes it is, especially with the long wait for state pension. My OH is now in care home and I am self-financing using £60k his mother left him. After that there will be a financial assessment and the LA will have to contribute. They cannot kick him out in the street or send him home.
Meanwhile, I have no car, no pets, no travel expenses, no drink, no meals out, no holidays, no garden centre trips, etc etc. All a bit dull ...
My friend is 65 next April and she picks up her state pension on the 6th November 2019 which makes her sixty five and a half. She was born April 1954.
https://www.which.co.uk/money/pensi...ion/state-pension-age-calculator-asfz43c0xp8q
Retirement calculator
https://www.which.co.uk/money/pensi...ion/state-pension-age-calculator-asfz43c0xp8q
Retirement calculator
I did get my State Pension - but have no other Pensions as my former OH's new wife benefits from his career that I supported him hugely to attain.
My present OH and I have no savings, no home of our own, and are fractionally financially above any benefits.
I have been told by Social Services that they will send carers in up to 4 times a day, once the dementia progresses to later stages.
They have said that putting him in a home is the very, very final thing they will consider.
Geology with the open university. It is my life saver.
I will be 62 in October and have another 4 and a half years until pension. I get nothing, not even carers allowance as I am still waiting for the DLA people to decide if dad should go up to the middle rate or not. I will have to top up my national insurance as well or pension will be short.
On the other hand I hardly need money as I have no opportunity to spend it. I buy nothing and my husband keeps me although I am only home for the afternoons.
Hi,
Ths is one of my personal fears. I love my work and couldn't imagine giving it up. I am 45 so how would I manage to put my children through Uni etc, fingers crossed my husbands stays independent for as long as possible for his, mine and the kids sake. I really feel for you and empathise.
Ths is one of my personal fears. I love my work and couldn't imagine giving it up. I am 45 so how would I manage to put my children through Uni etc, fingers crossed my husbands stays independent for as long as possible for his, mine and the kids sake. I really feel for you and empathise.
Im still working because im the only one bringing in a wage. My OH was suspended from his job at 55 (a really good job)..so no money or pension from him..i have to wait till i'm 67 for mine. My OH needs me at home but i cant give up my wage too. My mum who is 84 helps me out bless her and i feel guilty s hell..am so scared for all our futures
We certainly don't need this on top of our caring anxieties for our loved one with dementia, do we? Not only are we saving successive Governments BILLIONS, we are impoverishing ourselves at the same time, and leaving no financial security for our own older years. Heaven help us all!
Absolutely - wise words!
I start each day with the thought that I can and I will get through this day. I am still adjusting to the reality not being what we signed up for almost 8 years ago.
I am still shocked when I comment on the TV news, thinking he is understanding it, and I realise that he does not follow it, he is just looking at the pictures on the screen without any of it registering.
I also have a wee bit of unease creeping in, that I am the only one with any 'sense' in this household any more - it is a bit scary.
BUT
I have taken him his coffee in bed at 7am, and I have already done some work here on my computer so quiet breakfast in a moment, shower, and up and ready for what the day throws at me. I love my work, I need my work, but his constant interruptions got to a new level the other day, and resulted in my sending a client an email that was almost total rubbish!! I need to concentrate, and that is difficult.
Another thing - he watched the World Snooker absolutely avidly, and now it's finished, he is lost. He also hates the Saturday TV as it is not what he is used to...... this is the guy who would not have a TV in the house....... but give him Judge Rinder, Tipping Point, The Chase and Pointless and he is happy, after Home under the Hammer, and Housing Enforcers of course!
Sadly, I often find myself on the couch with him, watching mindless stuff.....it tends to be along the antique show line. Life is funny, when our kids were little I had a room I could lock where I kept the TV so I could make sure they did not just sit in front of the TV. But now I find myself there. Luckily not all the time.
