Our appoinment

olliebel

Registered User
May 1, 2017
19
0
Harlow Essex
Not been on here for a long time. My husband was diagnosed with young onset dementia in 2014 at 59. A couple of months ago the word 'Alzeimers' was used, not sure what the difference is!
Yesterday we went to his annual appt with the specialist (my husband hates going here as on the door in capitals it reads: Mental Health Centre. The specialist was assessing him with loads of questions and activities to do. My H kept looking at me and the S said Im asking you, I will ask your wife in a minute, must have said it 4 times. Then the S asked me if I felt my H was a burden to me, well..I was shocked this has never once entered my head and he certainly isnt. He then asked my H to fold a piece of paper in half and to give it to me. After an hour and half my H by now is getting frustrated and agitated I felt I wanted to walk us both out of there. My H didnt do the task..but just held his head and said I'm fed up! The S turned to me and said 'is he hard at hearing am i making myself clear..is this normal only I was so annoyed its played on my mind all night and today.
 

Bree

Registered User
Oct 16, 2013
246
0
No it's not normal, it's down right rude. Professional that person is not. If it happens again, both of you just walk out.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,534
0
N Ireland
Shocking.

Unfortunately too many 'professionals' are task rather than people focused. I have always been famous for my assertiveness and stand at my wife's side or back when she has to deal with people. I'm never slow to point out, in a polite but matter of fact way, that their questions are badly geared to dealing with Alzheimer's.
I find our local pharmacists the worst offenders, they'll put 4 different meds for Alzheimer's, depression and anxiety in a bag then try to give my wife a test followed by detailed instructions before handing over the meds. Being met by her silence and her glaikit smile doesn't seem to register. :rolleyes:
 

olliebel

Registered User
May 1, 2017
19
0
Harlow Essex
Thank you Bree. I didnt think this was right. He is seeing my H again next year..if we have the same response then we both will be walking out.
 

olliebel

Registered User
May 1, 2017
19
0
Harlow Essex
Our GP is no better, he talks to him like a 3 year old, speaking slowly in his face pronouncing every word. Don't think any of them understand the disease fully. I have told the GP that he doesn't have to talk to him like that, he understands what you say and can still answer you! He has had a brain scan which was lost and also an acupuncture that got lost, when asked to have another one my H said no way. Think we will just take one day at a time with my care.
 

olliebel

Registered User
May 1, 2017
19
0
Harlow Essex
Shocking.

Unfortunately too many 'professionals' are task rather than people focused. I have always been famous for my assertiveness and stand at my wife's side or back when she has to deal with people. I'm never slow to point out, in a polite but matter of fact way, that their questions are badly geared to dealing with Alzheimer's.
I find our local pharmacists the worst offenders, they'll put 4 different meds for Alzheimer's, depression and anxiety in a bag then try to give my wife a test followed by detailed instructions before handing over the meds. Being met by her silence and her glaikit smile doesn't seem to register. :rolleyes:
OMG what is wrong with them..this is not a new disease. My aunt had it for 12 years in 2003. Think they would know by now.
 

Laura40

Registered User
Dec 10, 2017
154
0
England
We had the nurse from the memory clinic around the other week, she did around an hour of questioning in which she told us my husband was absolutely fine, then when we said so why did the neurologist tell us he had Early Onset she responded with what neurologist and when!! When my husband left the room and I spoke to her about him polishing the Easter eggs and crashing the car and nearly setting the house on fire she took a step back and booked us a MRI and another consultant appointment and on the merry go round we go....