Mum won't Eat - inevitable consequence
- Thread starter Lynne
- Start date
Lynne - inexpert or not with those mouth swabs I think you're doing a wonderful job.
Incidentally - with regard to who to call: if you choose a cremation as opposed to a burial, two doctors have to examine the body. Normally the second doctor will attend at the funeral home, but it is something you may have to chase, as the second doctor has to come from a different practice from doctor number 1. This is a post Shipman requirement. Most practices have a sort of informal reciprocal agreement with another practice for just such eventualities, but it can take time.
Incidentally - with regard to who to call: if you choose a cremation as opposed to a burial, two doctors have to examine the body. Normally the second doctor will attend at the funeral home, but it is something you may have to chase, as the second doctor has to come from a different practice from doctor number 1. This is a post Shipman requirement. Most practices have a sort of informal reciprocal agreement with another practice for just such eventualities, but it can take time.
Hi Lynne
Just been reading your post. I too care for mum at home as you do and she is at a similar stage as your mum (and many others). If your commode is not on wheels ask the OT for a glide about commode.
Like your mum mine wouldnt have a commode at the side of the bed but with the glideabout your can wheel her to the toilet/bathroom
where she may be happier to use it. By the time you have taken the transport seat away from underneath her and sat her back down on the toilet seat part of the commode the she will feel as though she is on the toilet.If not - and she still insists on using the toilet, at least you can transport her there and back safely.
Hope this is helpful.
Regards
Casselle
Just been reading your post. I too care for mum at home as you do and she is at a similar stage as your mum (and many others). If your commode is not on wheels ask the OT for a glide about commode.
Like your mum mine wouldnt have a commode at the side of the bed but with the glideabout your can wheel her to the toilet/bathroom
where she may be happier to use it. By the time you have taken the transport seat away from underneath her and sat her back down on the toilet seat part of the commode the she will feel as though she is on the toilet.If not - and she still insists on using the toilet, at least you can transport her there and back safely.
Hope this is helpful.
Regards
Casselle
Bollox - have had an absolute s*itty day, got halfway through long moaning post telling you about it, and then lost it.
I was already as mad & bad-tempered as all hell, & this hasn't improved it one bit. You'll have to wait a day now.
Perhaps it's just as well, I would probably have said lots of things I might regret once/if I return to a saner state of mind
Like I said, Bollox.
I was already as mad & bad-tempered as all hell, & this hasn't improved it one bit. You'll have to wait a day now.
Perhaps it's just as well, I would probably have said lots of things I might regret once/if I return to a saner state of mind
Like I said, Bollox.
Attachments
Dear Lynne
Sorry about your sh-tty dayX
We had a sh-tty night
Your care for your mum, well, we send love to you both.
Barb & Ron XX
Sorry about your sh-tty dayX
We had a sh-tty night
Your care for your mum, well, we send love to you both.
Barb & Ron XX
Dear Lynne,
I admire you for what you are doing for your Mother.
I do hope that you are granted the strength to get you through each day.
Love from
Christine
I admire you for what you are doing for your Mother.
I do hope that you are granted the strength to get you through each day.
Love from
Christine
Hello Lynne....
You will return to a saner state of mind...I have no doubts about that....
And are we not here for you to rant and rave..?
Under the circumstances I'd expect it.
We're here...stay strong...
I'm certain the whole of TP is behind you.....
Love gigi xx
You will return to a saner state of mind...I have no doubts about that....
And are we not here for you to rant and rave..?
Under the circumstances I'd expect it.
We're here...stay strong...
I'm certain the whole of TP is behind you.....
Love gigi xx
Dear Lynne:
I am sorry you had such a bad day. I guess you are totally exhausted and then everything seems to go wrong. Please rant and let go here, everyone will support you.
I do hope you have a reasonable night - as they say 'tomorrow is another day'.
Thinking about you. Love Jan
I am sorry you had such a bad day. I guess you are totally exhausted and then everything seems to go wrong. Please rant and let go here, everyone will support you.
I do hope you have a reasonable night - as they say 'tomorrow is another day'.
Thinking about you. Love Jan
Lynne,
I'm really finding it hard to know what to write to you, there is so much to say. I can completely relate to what you have to say, my own mother stopped eating ( more or less )about 4 months ago, soon after my father passed away. From being very mobile she is now completely bedridden. She is much further down the road of Alzhiemers than your mother though.
The picture of your mother broke my heart, she's an angel. The twinkle in her eyes, her radiance......You must be heartbroken.
I am thinking of you daily and hoping you can find the strength to cope. You're doing such a great job and when the time comes you'll be at peace because you'll know you did the best for your mum. It will be a great comfort to you in years to come.
I send both you and your mum my love, god bless you both.
Jane xxxx
I'm really finding it hard to know what to write to you, there is so much to say. I can completely relate to what you have to say, my own mother stopped eating ( more or less )about 4 months ago, soon after my father passed away. From being very mobile she is now completely bedridden. She is much further down the road of Alzhiemers than your mother though.
The picture of your mother broke my heart, she's an angel. The twinkle in her eyes, her radiance......You must be heartbroken.
I am thinking of you daily and hoping you can find the strength to cope. You're doing such a great job and when the time comes you'll be at peace because you'll know you did the best for your mum. It will be a great comfort to you in years to come.
I send both you and your mum my love, god bless you both.
Jane xxxx
thickner
just quickly - you said your mum coughs a lot if drinking and that you find this distressing (obviously). I would ask for a speech therapist, who can come and see if some thickner in your mums drinks would help. just makes it easier for her to manage and therefore far less likely for it to go down the wrong way (either into lungs or out on to the neck!). Just that if she is coughing on it a lot she is at risk of developing pneumonia. I've put my mum on it and has made a massive difference.
just a thought.
Suzanna
speech therapist extrodinaire (apparently!!)
just quickly - you said your mum coughs a lot if drinking and that you find this distressing (obviously). I would ask for a speech therapist, who can come and see if some thickner in your mums drinks would help. just makes it easier for her to manage and therefore far less likely for it to go down the wrong way (either into lungs or out on to the neck!). Just that if she is coughing on it a lot she is at risk of developing pneumonia. I've put my mum on it and has made a massive difference.
just a thought.
Suzanna
speech therapist extrodinaire (apparently!!
)
Dear Lynne,
Just to let you know I'm thinking of you. I hope things are easing up for you.
Love,
Just to let you know I'm thinking of you. I hope things are easing up for you.
Love,
Hi All
Thanks for your good wishes, just had a couple of fractious days I would rather not remember (or put in black & white) but I'm back on track now.
Had a night-sitter in last night, so I have caught up on a bit of sleep, last night & from 7a.m. > 11a.m. this morning.
Mind you, the poor girl was suffering herself (migraine) so we did the night-shift between us. A quiet one as far as Mum was concerned,
until 05.15 when she suddenly awoke with an URGENT NEED to go to the loo, which turned into a major clean-up operation for us both.
Poor Sandra! She really didn't need that.
Mum has been sleeping deeply today, difficult to rouse (she's still drinking, so I wake her for that) but 'no trouble'.
She has lost ALL strength & control from her legs now, so far as weight-bearing is concerned, but can still move herself about in bed, setting off the alarm in the process!
Mum has always slept flat in her back, never on her side, but now I sometimes find her in a semi-foetal position. Significant? Who knows.
Thanks for your good wishes, just had a couple of fractious days I would rather not remember (or put in black & white) but I'm back on track now.
Had a night-sitter in last night, so I have caught up on a bit of sleep, last night & from 7a.m. > 11a.m. this morning.
Mind you, the poor girl was suffering herself (migraine) so we did the night-shift between us. A quiet one as far as Mum was concerned,
until 05.15 when she suddenly awoke with an URGENT NEED to go to the loo, which turned into a major clean-up operation for us both.
Poor Sandra! She really didn't need that.
Mum has been sleeping deeply today, difficult to rouse (she's still drinking, so I wake her for that) but 'no trouble'.
She has lost ALL strength & control from her legs now, so far as weight-bearing is concerned, but can still move herself about in bed, setting off the alarm in the process!
Mum has always slept flat in her back, never on her side, but now I sometimes find her in a semi-foetal position. Significant? Who knows.
Dear Lynne, I am lad that you managed to get some rest at least.
I think it is instinctive within us all to adopt the feotal position. Lionel has been this way for many months now, so much so that he cries in pain if the staff attempt to straighten his legs.
Sending love n'hugs.
I think it is instinctive within us all to adopt the feotal position. Lionel has been this way for many months now, so much so that he cries in pain if the staff attempt to straighten his legs.
Sending love n'hugs.
Hi Lynne, sorry your 'night off' wasn't entirely successful. Hopefully next time you'll get someone who's fit and well, and can cope with accidents.
Sorry your mum is losing her strength, that must be hard for you.
A lot of people with dementia do adopt the foetal position in the last stage, but that doesn't necessarily mean the end is near. One lady in John's unit has been in that position ever since he moved there a year ago, I don't know how long before.
I don't know if that's encouraging for you or not.
Are you managing to get any high-calorie drinks into your mum?
Love,
Sorry your mum is losing her strength, that must be hard for you.
A lot of people with dementia do adopt the foetal position in the last stage, but that doesn't necessarily mean the end is near. One lady in John's unit has been in that position ever since he moved there a year ago, I don't know how long before.
I don't know if that's encouraging for you or not.
Are you managing to get any high-calorie drinks into your mum?
Love,
