Muddles with Medication

[ScarletPimple]

Hi, ScaretPimple here again.
Today mum (she has memory problems) rang Boots to get them to give her some more low dose aspirin which she takes every day.
She said she'd run out and got me to drive in to collect it.
If I'd known she'd "run out" I'd have hunted for them before she got as far as ringing the chemists. But she's so independent that she still thinks she can cope with everything herself.
So... I drove to Boots and picked it up. Turned out they'd made up ALL her pills. (She takes 3 different meds everyday.)
I got them to put the aspirin into a separate bag. And gave her just that one.
She then said "No, that's not the one. I've got that one."
Which worried me. I mean, how do I explain that I'd kept some back from her without thus putting her back up?

I was thinking, she'll be correct, I AM an interferring officious little busybody!
Sigh.
I needn't have worried...
Turned out that my first suspicion was correct and she hadn't run out of ANYTHING.
She had all 3 of her essential meds, just scattered between upstairs and downstairs.

Up to now, she's been just about okay taking the same things every morning.
One of each, once a day.
Now this is another thing to worry about.

So I've kept back the new lot of meds.
Managed to surreptitiously hang on to the new lot of aspirin too.
I can just give them all to her when she next runs out, as if I've just collected them.
That way her self esteem remains intact. (Hopefully).

She won't sign a paper so that the Doctor can talk to me about her health. Therefore I have no right to know.
So I just sit here in limbo worrying all the time.
She doesn't have the same number of each medication left... what if she takes more than a single tablet of one of them?
God I wish there was something I could do!!!!
I think I'll end up with a heart attack from all the worry and angst.
HAVE I done the right thing?

 

[Amy in the US]

Even if the doctor can't talk to you, you can tell the doctor anything you want. I would be sure to communicate to the GP that your mum isn't able to manage her meds as that can have serious consequences. (But I admit my bias on this issue, as my mother over- and underdosed on a vast array of OTC and prescription meds, with disastrous results.)

It's really hard when the PWD (person with dementia) needs help, but there are barriers, and there is no one method that works for everyone. Sometimes we can get help and support in place, sometimes we have to wait for the crisis, and it's hard either way.

I understand your distress, having been there myself, and only wish I could be of practical help. This is a terrible disease that does a lot of collateral damage. Best wishes.

 

[DeMartin]

Re doctor not talking to you, could you accompany your mum to an appointment and get the doctor to ask her if it’s alright to speak in front you Verbal concent can then be documented.
PS my father was seen by memory clinic because the doctor felt he was having problems with medication.

 

[karaokePete]

Do you use a pill organiser?
My wife could never manage her meds but gets on well with one of these. If you can chat to your mum and manage to get her to think it's her idea she may accept it without insult.
I use a small and simple thing that doesn't look in any way controlling and is also handy for carrying a days pills when out and about - there are many like this sort of thing and even ones that cover longer periods and are more secure:

 

[ScarletPimple]

Re doctor not talking to you, could you accompany your mum to an appointment and get the doctor to ask her if it’s alright to speak in front you Verbal concent can then be documented.
PS my father was seen by memory clinic because the doctor felt he was having problems with medication.

Mum has been to a Memory clinic as she had an op' to remove a cyst on her pituitary gland. But she was discharged from there as 'no change' or there was no further deterioration - which is absolute RUBBISH!
Those tests seem to have no relation to how people are at home.
She thought she was 'cured'.
Sadly.
I think that was about 3 years ago.
I do try and go in with her when she has an appointment, and so far she hasn't objected.
I find it helps as she just doesn't remember what the doctor says to her.
But I've not heard of a doctor asking that and verbal concent being registered.
Is that in the UK?

 

[ScarletPimple]

Do you use a pill organiser?
My wife could never manage her meds but gets on well with one of these. If you can chat to your mum and manage to get her to think it's her idea she may accept it without insult.
I use a small and simple thing that doesn't look in any way controlling and is also handy for carrying a days pills when out and about - there are many like this sort of thing and even ones that cover longer periods and are more secure:

I do for myself. Mum won't.
She just won't even talk about it.

 

[ScarletPimple]

Even if the doctor can't talk to you, you can tell the doctor anything you want. I would be sure to communicate to the GP that your mum isn't able to manage her meds as that can have serious consequences. (But I admit my bias on this issue, as my mother over- and underdosed on a vast array of OTC and prescription meds, with disastrous results.)

It's really hard when the PWD (person with dementia) needs help, but there are barriers, and there is no one method that works for everyone. Sometimes we can get help and support in place, sometimes we have to wait for the crisis, and it's hard either way.

I understand your distress, having been there myself, and only wish I could be of practical help. This is a terrible disease that does a lot of collateral damage. Best wishes.

Thank you.

 

[DeMartin]

Mum has been to a Memory clinic as she had an op' to remove a cyst on her pituitary gland. But she was discharged from there as 'no change' or there was no further deterioration - which is absolute RUBBISH!
Those tests seem to have no relation to how people are at home.
She thought she was 'cured'.
Sadly.
I think that was about 3 years ago.
I do try and go in with her when she has an appointment, and so far she hasn't objected.
I find it helps as she just doesn't remember what the doctor says to her.
But I've not heard of a doctor asking that and verbal concent being registered.
Is that in the UK?

I’m sure another poster said they used that method, the psychiatrist my dad saw merely said can your daughter stay, dad said yes, and the reports from the doctor were sent to me as well as dad. Nothing signed.

 

[ScarletPimple]

I’m sure another poster said they used that method, the psychiatrist my dad saw merely said can your daughter stay, dad said yes, and the reports from the doctor were sent to me as well as dad. Nothing signed.

Wow!