Still lost!

Clairezie

Registered User
Jan 17, 2014
2
0
Hi Carabosse,
I was also glad when Christmas and the New Year were behind me.
Although it was 2 years on from the death of my MUm on 29th Dec I still allowed myself to grieve, especially when I got next to a hearse in a funeral convoy at some traffic lights on the same date exactly 2 years ago since her funeral.

I hope there is a little shaft of light in your tunnel Carabosse. Glad the cat is still visiting you. have you thought about getting a cat of your own, maybe one from a local animal rescue shelter who needs lots of love . We have snow forecast for later, it is bitterly cold and frosty, and I worry about all the daffodils and other spring plants that have started to bloom here so early.
Take care,
Elizabet.

I have been touched by reading your posts, both of you (Carabosse and Elizabet). It's two years for me this Saturday since losing my Nanna (more of a Mum to me). Two years really is such a short amount of time when grieving. It sounded long to me until now. Thinking of both of you. December and January are difficult months.

Claire x
 

Carabosse

Registered User
Jan 10, 2013
1,699
0
Hello clairezie, that is why I started this thread so others may benefit from what myself and others have experienced since losing a loved one, you will find what you thought might be strange things, or say, are in fact perfectly normal and you are not the only one doing them.
I am finding January difficult as my dads birthday was in this month, in February I have mums birthday and the day she passed, so not a good couple of months.
The cat has retaken the sofa, she no longer wants to sit on the chair I usually use, she will only sit on my lap when she knows treats are around. I have thought about getting a cat or a dog of my own, but the one who has adopted me might not get on with them, so I will wait.
We have finally had some snow, its been lying for 2 days or so, we even had blizzards for a short time yesterday. Alas the forecast says we are going to get milder weather, what I want to know is where is the 'worst winter for 50 years' we were promised in December? Can we have what the East coast of the US had, please? :D
 

elizabet

Registered User
Mar 26, 2013
224
0
Southampton
Hi Carabosse, Hope you are getting through your month of February with all its memories -your Mum's birthday month and sadly also her passing anniversary.
Also now our shops are full of Mothering Sunday cards, another poignant reminder of our departed Mums.
However, there are signs of new life all around for Spring and the birds are getting paired up and territorial in my garden.
Thinking of you as you get through February. Are you any happier with your doctor?
best wishes,
Elizabeth.
 

Carabosse

Registered User
Jan 10, 2013
1,699
0
Thanks elizabet, I got through February with all its reminders of mum and her passing, it was difficult, mind you every day is difficult.
I don't know why the adverts have to be so early, I mean we started getting the Mothering Sunday cards in February, surely they could do them nearer to the time, it would be less heartache for those who have lost their mum. All I could think of was I need to get mum a card before realizing a split second later, she wasn't here.
I have got my seed potatoes chitting in the living room, the whole place is covered with them, just need the weather to be slightly warmer so I can plant them!
He is different from the last one, I doubt two Dr's are ever the same?
 

elizabet

Registered User
Mar 26, 2013
224
0
Southampton
Hello Carabosse,
wonder if you have got in your seed potatoes and other healthy vegetables seeds planted? Hope as the months pass you feel you are moving slowly out of your tunnel and you can see a flicker of light at the end . I am about to do something very out of my comfort zone. Along with my husband we are going out to teach medical basic care to some refugees out on the Thai Burmese border with a charity .As we are both over 60 we are pensioner back packers but then if we don't do something adventurous while we can we may never do such a adventure in the future. Never travelled when younger as when students we were short of money and then hard at work and then had family commitments.
Does the cat still come around or have you got a cat of your own?
Currently I am off cats.My back garden seems to be a cat's toilet- but I can never catch the culprit in action I spray with cat deterrent , tried orange peel scattered around but it still keeps leaving messes.
We will never forget our dear Mums .
 

Carabosse

Registered User
Jan 10, 2013
1,699
0
Hi elizabet, I am slowly getting my potatoes planted, I lost the first lot to some disease before they were planted. I have some carrots and turnips planted but no sign of them as yet, I need the weather to cooperate!
I am still in my tunnel, stuck I'm afraid. Seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist.
Sounds what you and your husband are going to be doing is fantastic, just be careful out there.
The cat still comes round, she is sitting on the windowsill as I type this. I haven't got one of my own as I don't think this cat would get on with it, I know what you mean about cats using the garden as their toilet, under my trees seems to be a favourite spot, like you I don't see which one does it!
I think of mum every day, the thought of forgetting her fills me with dread.
 

elizabet

Registered User
Mar 26, 2013
224
0
Southampton
fantastic trip but sad welcome back

Well Carabosse, back home for a very worthwhile trip , the 34 young people were so keen and receptive and were desperate to learn to get qualified as medical aid workers and then return to their communities. Thailand was very interesting too.
During our first week out there we received a message from sister in law to say that my Father in law( 91) was ad mitted to hospital with pneumonia. He actually started to respond to the antibiotics and on our return to UK last week end we visited him and he was very alert and talked for an hour. Sadly he died on Thursday so now my husband and I are both orphans in our early 60s!. The funeral will be in a fortnight leaving us time to get all the formalities done, a sad time .Unlike our Mums he was spared dementia and we can be thankful that he did not linger but death, even though he had a strong faith being a vicar is still hard to accept.
Hope you have been out in your garden our front grass( wouldn't call it a lawn) was like a meadow on our return.
Take care and hope you do get a chink of light at the end of your tunnel.
 

Carabosse

Registered User
Jan 10, 2013
1,699
0
Sounds like you were on a very interesting trip, never been to Thailand.

Sorry to hear about your father in law.

Yes I have been out in the garden, but its been a bit cold up here the past few days even with the sun shinning, so haven't been able to get out as much as I would have liked. I am hoping to get more of the weeds up before the snow arrives, apparently we are due for 4 months bad snow according to long range forecasts, I do hope they are right this time!

Still having up days and down days, more downs than up at the moment, still in my tunnel.
 

elizabet

Registered User
Mar 26, 2013
224
0
Southampton
Hi Carabosse.
Just to say thinking of you as Christmas approaches with all its memories of our departed loved ones.
Hope you are a little further out of your tunnel. I still miss and think of my MUm but little things have n't set me off crying as I remember her as was happening in past years since she went.
Take care,
best wishes,
Elizabeth.