So today my moms brother came to visit and we began talking about a support group that my mom has just started to attend. He then turns around and says make sure she enjoys it and doesn’t get too upset going there. Then turns around and says you’ll have to take her out more. I’m a single parent still living with my parents whilst working part time, how am I meant to do all of this and take my mom out more. I’m one person I can’t do everything. Sorry for the rant but just need to get it off my chest.
Other family members who do not understand Alzheimer’s
- Thread starter Sweettibbz
- Start date
This is very common in families when dealing with dementia. They are prepared to talk the talk but never to do the walk. They can give advise by the bucket load and won’t consider doing any of the caring.
It’s such a shame because when the care is shared or someone is prepared to step in from time to time to give the main Carer a break it would make caring so much easier.
It’s such a shame because when the care is shared or someone is prepared to step in from time to time to give the main Carer a break it would make caring so much easier.
Tell me about it, I just feel so tired all the time and would appreciate a little help from family.
Oh dear, sounds very familiar to me. You are going to have to get very tough if you want help from anyone because they will just leave you to do it all. It is amazing how selfish some people can be.
The brother does not sound like he is going to be helpful. Sounds like my brother in fact. I don't know what the answer is but it seems a lot of us are in the same boat. Such a shame.
The brother does not sound like he is going to be helpful. Sounds like my brother in fact. I don't know what the answer is but it seems a lot of us are in the same boat. Such a shame.
It does indeed. This new support group we go to seems good and it’s very helpful meeting other carers and being able to chat about things.
When OH was ill I got plenty of orders barked at me down the phone from her daughter on what I should do, she only lives n the other side of Bristol and can't manage to come over and help. I know exactly how you feel Sweettibbz.
I hope the new support group works for you and your mum, they can also be a good place to find out about other help and support in the area.
I hope the new support group works for you and your mum, they can also be a good place to find out about other help and support in the area.
We had tried to contact our own dementia advisor but that was about 5 weeks ago and heard nothing back, so when someone contacted us about this support group I thought it was worth giving it a try.
Hi there. I'm new to the forum. It's very easy for others to say what they think you should do but don't actually do anything themselves. I have 2 brothers, 1 who hasn't seen mum for 3 years and 1 not involved in her care. It sounds like you are doing all you can possibly do.
My brother works full time and is well paid. He also gets his father cared for for free.
I used to work but am unable to anymore as I look after dad everyday and I don't get paid at all anymore.
Not moaning as it is my dad and I feel responsible but it does get a bit tedious sometimes.
Just the way it is I suppose.
I used to work but am unable to anymore as I look after dad everyday and I don't get paid at all anymore.
Not moaning as it is my dad and I feel responsible but it does get a bit tedious sometimes.
Just the way it is I suppose.
It is a sad fact that siblings or family members, whilst perhaps meaning well, frankly have no real idea whatsoever, as to the reality of caring for a parent who is debilitated by dementia. It is an ongoing commitment and one which, eventually, evolves into total commitment in body and soul. On the two occasions when my siblings came face-to-face with the 'sharp end' of dementia manifested in my late dear mother, it was a genuine 'shock'. Even then, I do not think that they truly came to terms with the implications of just how this disease affects both parties - carer and the one being cared for. Nor did they really contemplate what it must be like to have a continuing association with dementia, for not just a day ... but for years. Your rant is an expression of frustration well understood and embraced sympathetically here.[/QUOTE]
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