Lack of mobility and lump in breast

Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
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USA
Thank you for your update, @susanandliam. I am so sorry to hear about your mother's cancer diagnosis.

I am also sorry that I have no personal experience of this situation and so can't offer personal advice. I can suggest a notebook. When I am going to take my mother to the doctor, or speak to them, I have to make a list of questions and take it with me, and take notes, because I can't seem to remember what I want to ask, and I can't seem to remember what they say!

It seems a hard issue to evaluate the risks and benefits of different treatments and medications, while making sure she is comfortable and has whatever pain control she needs. I hope the doctors can give you the information you need to make decisions. Best wishes.
 

susanandliam

Registered User
Dec 10, 2012
119
0
somerset
Went to see consultant re mums biopsy and the diagnosis is that my poor little mum has triple negative breast cancer grade 2 in both breasts!!! I can't get my head round how much worse things could be for her on top of this wretched alzheimers.

The only positive is that she won't have to take any further medication as it doesn't work with this aggressive cancer. She's 90 frail and getting weaker all the time so there's nothing to be done although the consultant did say it wouldn't be the cancer that kills her!

I can't get my head round whether mums sudden decline in mobility and now complete lack of appetite is the inevitable progression of this dreadful disease or the cancer or both!!

She's been complaining of pain in her right shoulder for months now (the larger tumour is in her right breast) but I kept being told there was nothing wrong was that just a coincidence?

I feel utterly bereft and angry how much more has my mum got to suffer. I'm working full time but I'm not sure how much more of this I can take, I feel like an emotional wreak I'm exhausted trying to do the best and watching my poor mum falling apart in front of me.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
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Midlands
Just wanted to offer a ((Hug))

Thats a hard one- as if dementia wasn't enough you have the Cancer to contend with.

How aware is Mum? Maybe the inability to understand is a good thing.
All you can wish for is that whatever time she has left, its pain free.
 

susanandliam

Registered User
Dec 10, 2012
119
0
somerset
Just wanted to offer a ((Hug))

Thats a hard one- as if dementia wasn't enough you have the Cancer to contend with.

How aware is Mum? Maybe the inability to understand is a good thing.
All you can wish for is that whatever time she has left, its pain free.
Thank you thankfully she is unaware that she has this due to her lack of capacity but there's definitely been a change in her recently and although the consultant said she isn't in any pain she is being given paracetamol for pain in her arm/shoulder. But I would think even if there's no pain she may be aware of it in some way as in it may be making her feel generally more rough
 

70smand

Registered User
Dec 4, 2011
269
0
Essex
You have such a lot to worry about - I really feel for you. It’s so hard to watch a loved one decline but your mum is so lucky you are fighting her corner. Whether your mums pain is caused by the cancer or not the dr needs to listen to you and acknowledge your mums pain, and treat it.
Hang on in there and I totally get that all encompassing feeling of gradually losing someone you love bit by bit and the anger you feel about this awful Alzheimer’s and so do most people on here. Sounds like you have a supportive husband too, which is always a blessing. My thoughts are with you, and, for what it’s worth there’s another virtual hug coming your way x
 

susanandliam

Registered User
Dec 10, 2012
119
0
somerset
You have such a lot to worry about - I really feel for you. It’s so hard to watch a loved one decline but your mum is so lucky you are fighting her corner. Whether your mums pain is caused by the cancer or not the dr needs to listen to you and acknowledge your mums pain, and treat it.
Hang on in there and I totally get that all encompassing feeling of gradually losing someone you love bit by bit and the anger you feel about this awful Alzheimer’s and so do most people on here. Sounds like you have a supportive husband too, which is always a blessing. My thoughts are with you, and, for what it’s worth there’s another virtual hug coming your way x
You have such a lot to worry about - I really feel for you. It’s so hard to watch a loved one decline but your mum is so lucky you are fighting her corner. Whether your mums pain is caused by the cancer or not the dr needs to listen to you and acknowledge your mums pain, and treat it.
Hang on in there and I totally get that all encompassing feeling of gradually losing someone you love bit by bit and the anger you feel about this awful Alzheimer’s and so do most people on here. Sounds like you have a supportive husband too, which is always a blessing. My thoughts are with you, and, for what it’s worth there’s another virtual hug coming your way x
Thank u xxx
 

Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
4,616
0
USA
I am not sure exactly what options you have in your area, but if it's possible to access something like hospice or palliative care for your mum, perhaps they could help with pain management as well as other aspects of care. I have seen Macmillan nurses mentioned here, as another possible option. You are right that your mother needs to be as comfortable and content and free of pain and discomfort, as possible. Best wishes.