Hi All
Haven't been on here for quite a while,mainly because i thought you just had to get on with the hand you are dealt.My wife was diagnosed with Dementia/Alzheimers unspecified in 2013.Since then she has gone downhill,even though she is on Donezipil,i believe this has done nothing for her.The psychiatrist said,if it is not doing her any harm,then carry on with it as,if she "fell off a cliff",then you cannot go back a stage,whatever.After you get the diagnosis,things become clearer,in that,a lot of the forgetfulness and strange behaviour starts to make sense.At first things were manageable,but now i have to deal with double incontinence and i have to do everything for her,including showering,teeth brushing,toiletting,washing,cooking,cleaning,dressing etc,etc.The big problem i face now is,her refusal to sit down and eat,i can spend an hour preparing and cooking a meal,only for her to look at it,and get up from the table.At times i have managed to spoonfeed her,or give her a forkful of food at a time,this can prolong mealtimes by up to 45 minutes before she has eaten a proper amount,sometimes she refuses to eat at all.
The strange thing is,she goes to a day centre for 4 hours per day,3 times a week,and she always eats there,and does it herself.I don't expect anyone to come up with a magic solution,but tips or hints might help.
She has also got into the habit of getting in bed fully dressed,coat,shoes,everything.Thankfully when she goes to bed she doesn't get up,but when she is up,she paces up and down all day.This in itself has caused problems,because she aggravates osteoarthritis in her hip,apart from that she is extremely mobile.When i go shopping i only have to turn my back for 5 seconds,and she's gone,leading to a hunt to find her.She has no proper conversation whatsoever,and just repeats the same phrase from the moment she gets up "have we got to go to bed now"until the moment she goes to bed.Without exaggeration she must repeat this 500+ times per day,it does get very wearing.I've always thought that i would just have to get on with it,but at times it is completely draining.I wonder at what stage do i say,i cannot cope with this anymore.I have been awarded 4 weeks respite per year,which is much appreciated,even so it leaves a lot of time for me to deal with.I'm unsure as to what would happen if she went into care,i don't think it would bother her,when she went into respite for a week,she seemed perfectly happy,and they said she was no problem whatsoever.We own our own home and have limited savings,but i worry about what i would have to pay,or if they would put a charge on our home.Sorry to ramble on,but if you have any words of wisdom to impart to me,please do.
Haven't been on here for quite a while,mainly because i thought you just had to get on with the hand you are dealt.My wife was diagnosed with Dementia/Alzheimers unspecified in 2013.Since then she has gone downhill,even though she is on Donezipil,i believe this has done nothing for her.The psychiatrist said,if it is not doing her any harm,then carry on with it as,if she "fell off a cliff",then you cannot go back a stage,whatever.After you get the diagnosis,things become clearer,in that,a lot of the forgetfulness and strange behaviour starts to make sense.At first things were manageable,but now i have to deal with double incontinence and i have to do everything for her,including showering,teeth brushing,toiletting,washing,cooking,cleaning,dressing etc,etc.The big problem i face now is,her refusal to sit down and eat,i can spend an hour preparing and cooking a meal,only for her to look at it,and get up from the table.At times i have managed to spoonfeed her,or give her a forkful of food at a time,this can prolong mealtimes by up to 45 minutes before she has eaten a proper amount,sometimes she refuses to eat at all.
The strange thing is,she goes to a day centre for 4 hours per day,3 times a week,and she always eats there,and does it herself.I don't expect anyone to come up with a magic solution,but tips or hints might help.
She has also got into the habit of getting in bed fully dressed,coat,shoes,everything.Thankfully when she goes to bed she doesn't get up,but when she is up,she paces up and down all day.This in itself has caused problems,because she aggravates osteoarthritis in her hip,apart from that she is extremely mobile.When i go shopping i only have to turn my back for 5 seconds,and she's gone,leading to a hunt to find her.She has no proper conversation whatsoever,and just repeats the same phrase from the moment she gets up "have we got to go to bed now"until the moment she goes to bed.Without exaggeration she must repeat this 500+ times per day,it does get very wearing.I've always thought that i would just have to get on with it,but at times it is completely draining.I wonder at what stage do i say,i cannot cope with this anymore.I have been awarded 4 weeks respite per year,which is much appreciated,even so it leaves a lot of time for me to deal with.I'm unsure as to what would happen if she went into care,i don't think it would bother her,when she went into respite for a week,she seemed perfectly happy,and they said she was no problem whatsoever.We own our own home and have limited savings,but i worry about what i would have to pay,or if they would put a charge on our home.Sorry to ramble on,but if you have any words of wisdom to impart to me,please do.
