Well here I am, 18 months on, starting to feel a bit more positive. I'ts terribly hard when you have no other family to share hopes and fears with. You don't want to burden your friends when you're struggling but those times, when you don't want to speak out, are exactly the times when you need extra input and support. I read all your opinions and decided that, for me, taking some time out would be for the best. I've now not been working for a year but I have achieved so much. The garage, shed, attic, 3 spare bedrooms and greenhouse have been cleared of 53 years worth of accumulated "stuff" from my hoarder of a DIY fanatic Father. Three old dead washing machine motors gone to the dump pretty much sums up all the rest I think, I could have opened a shop selling nothing but nuts, bolts and washers! I'm nearly finished with HMRC, boy are they slow!, and psyching myself up for putting my family home of my whole life on the market. Very scary times ahead. I,m going to be starting all over again, from scratch, all on my own. My best friend says it,s a fantastic opportunity but, OMG I,m terrified but also quite excited in a buttock clenching kind of way x
18 months on...
- Thread starter snorkmaiden
- Start date
You've got through all the hard stuff so now it's time for some adventures.
Time for some fun. Good luck!
Time for some fun. Good luck!
It' lovely to read your positive story for time afterwards, snorkmaiden, what a journey you have been on. Enjoy life and your future is your own to own now.
Even though I have family, they all seem so much more together so I don't feel I can really talk to them about feelings. Dad, bless him is on a mission to clear the house of mum (she died in December so still quite recent). Mum was the hoarder and dad has no sentimentality about him so he just sees it as junk. I expect it keeps him busy though and it gives him a reason to phone and say...'did you want'... Unfortunately I don't have much room so have to be quite selective about what I keep of mum's.
Thakyou for sharing.
Even though I have family, they all seem so much more together so I don't feel I can really talk to them about feelings. Dad, bless him is on a mission to clear the house of mum (she died in December so still quite recent). Mum was the hoarder and dad has no sentimentality about him so he just sees it as junk. I expect it keeps him busy though and it gives him a reason to phone and say...'did you want'... Unfortunately I don't have much room so have to be quite selective about what I keep of mum's.
Thakyou for sharing.
Oops! Hi malengwa, you must have replied just as I was deleting my soppy post of last night though I’m sorry I did now if you found it positive. I’m very sorry about the loss of your Mum, it’s still very early days for you yet. It took me a long long time to unscramble my feelings, the hurt, pain, anger, fear........ you will get there in your own way and in your own time though. Take comfort where it’s offered and be gentle with yourself xx
I think you've achieved a lot in the last year and I admire you.
I'm not working, I'm a part-time student, and have plenty of time to clear out the accumulated stuff I brought round here from my parents house 4 years ago but I still haven't got round to it all.
Good luck on selling the house. I still dream about my parents' house regularly, and it is comforting as it was sold years ago. I was looking out of the kitchen window yesterday morning in one of the dreams, it was so real!
I'm not working, I'm a part-time student, and have plenty of time to clear out the accumulated stuff I brought round here from my parents house 4 years ago but I still haven't got round to it all.
Good luck on selling the house. I still dream about my parents' house regularly, and it is comforting as it was sold years ago. I was looking out of the kitchen window yesterday morning in one of the dreams, it was so real!
Hi Snorkmaiden
I'm reading your post with interest as in similar situation as lost dad and now in sorting mode- only it's me that does the hoarding which makes sorting so much harder. Not yet made up mind if moving or not but trying to thin the herd . If I have to downsize and I would if I moved as only got half the house so a total nightmare. Trying to view things as an adventure but not that easy.
On the subject of garages, I have at least 4 huge old quality street tins of nuts, bolts and similar things that might be useful one day, mostly inherited from grandparents in the early 1970s.
Dementia may end at the point of passing on but the issues that go with it for carers cast long shadows.
I'm reading your post with interest as in similar situation as lost dad and now in sorting mode- only it's me that does the hoarding which makes sorting so much harder. Not yet made up mind if moving or not but trying to thin the herd . If I have to downsize and I would if I moved as only got half the house so a total nightmare. Trying to view things as an adventure but not that easy.
On the subject of garages, I have at least 4 huge old quality street tins of nuts, bolts and similar things that might be useful one day, mostly inherited from grandparents in the early 1970s.
Dementia may end at the point of passing on but the issues that go with it for carers cast long shadows.
