I feel my wife has lost/is losing cognitive skills. Once well able to handle home accounts she now struggles badly. She finds it hard to organise a weeks shopping in the supermarket. She forgets things even though they have been explained to her several times. She seems to take no interest in current affairs. I asked her to take money out of an ATM a couple of days ago and she struggled to so so. My question? What do I do about it? I don't want to tell her she needs to talk to a doctor as that will upset her and worry her. In any case I may be wrong and I don't want to accuse her unnecessarily. Perhaps I should just watch and see if it gets worse? This must be a worry that has concerned a lot of people. I love my wife very much and we have been married 55 years this year. She had a serious cancer 15 years ago from which she has recovered, but it has left her with problems she does well to overcome.
How do I broach the subject?
- Thread starter silkmiller
- Start date
Good morning and welcome to TP silkmiller. Sorry your wife has cognitive problems now after her battles will cancer, you will get plenty of good advice and support on here.
Can I suggest you maybe make a routine appointment with your wife's doctor just for a check up, as vitamin B12 deficiency and stress can also cause memory and cognitive problems. There may be something else easier to treat going on, My OH is not happy to go to the doctor or to have blood tests, but I always gently persuade her.
Can I suggest you maybe make a routine appointment with your wife's doctor just for a check up, as vitamin B12 deficiency and stress can also cause memory and cognitive problems. There may be something else easier to treat going on, My OH is not happy to go to the doctor or to have blood tests, but I always gently persuade her.
Thanks for your kind reply. Yes, she has a routine medical examination every year to check her levothyroxine dosage, due in the summer, so that will be a good time to mention it casually to the doctor. She does eat a balanced diet and doesn't appear to be anaemic though but, as you say, a check up will do no harm. Thank you again for your advice.
You might be better off mentioning to the GP before the appointment, so that it doesnt seem to come from you.
You could write a letter briefly outlining your concerns - putting it in bullet point makes it easier to read - so that the letter will go in your wifes file and will be there when the GP sees her.
You could write a letter briefly outlining your concerns - putting it in bullet point makes it easier to read - so that the letter will go in your wifes file and will be there when the GP sees her.
Hello @silkmiller, a warm welcome to TP from me too.
My own wife's symptoms first emerged in a similar fashion to your wife. I think that early diagnosis is important as, even for dementia caused by Alzheimer's useful medication can be prescribed and the earlier it is taken the better.
As I typed this reply you made a new post about a routine examination. Might I suggest you contact the GP, perhaps by letter, in advance of the examination and outline your concerns so that the GP can be prepared to look at the specific issues involved. They should be used to this as it is often suggested that one gets someone to the GP under the guise of a wellman/woman appointment
My own wife's symptoms first emerged in a similar fashion to your wife. I think that early diagnosis is important as, even for dementia caused by Alzheimer's useful medication can be prescribed and the earlier it is taken the better.
As I typed this reply you made a new post about a routine examination. Might I suggest you contact the GP, perhaps by letter, in advance of the examination and outline your concerns so that the GP can be prepared to look at the specific issues involved. They should be used to this as it is often suggested that one gets someone to the GP under the guise of a wellman/woman appointment
Hello silkmiller
I was in a similar situation with my mother and wrote down all the changes I had noticed and handed it in to the gp surgery days before my mother's appointment asking for the gp to read it whom will be seeing her, also stating that I may not get her to the appointment. It all worked to plan and the gp asked specific questions relating to things I'd mentioned. He didn't tell my mother about the letter but when needed to refer to it for my sake he gently tapped it as it was on his desk. That first contact came with mixed emotions, I felt like I was going behind her back, that she would be furious with me etc but I am so glad I did it. We are on the beginning of a long journey and I have no regrets stepping up for mum when she needed it.
I was in a similar situation with my mother and wrote down all the changes I had noticed and handed it in to the gp surgery days before my mother's appointment asking for the gp to read it whom will be seeing her, also stating that I may not get her to the appointment. It all worked to plan and the gp asked specific questions relating to things I'd mentioned. He didn't tell my mother about the letter but when needed to refer to it for my sake he gently tapped it as it was on his desk. That first contact came with mixed emotions, I felt like I was going behind her back, that she would be furious with me etc but I am so glad I did it. We are on the beginning of a long journey and I have no regrets stepping up for mum when she needed it.
Thank you for your replies, and for all the replies from concerned people here. I intend to take the advice you have given and hope the doctor will reassure me that what's happening is normal ageing and nothing more sinister. I hope your mother is doing well.
