At the end of my tether...

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
Nice bit of costume jewellery.

It wouldn't even be that for dad. My prediction is that he'll either:
1- continuously ask what the red button is for.
2- throw the red button away because there's nothing wrong with him
3- continuously press the red button (my mum did this in hospital so after the first few times they took it off her)
4- ignore the red button (best case scenario)
5- ask me why I've left my pendant...

But he won't understand it at all :rolleyes:
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
@Rolypoly . Re waterproof pillow covers I got some terry towelling zipped ones from Amazon which are not too crinkly. £8.95 for a pack of two by High living.
I've tried three times to post a link for them but I think my iPad is dying :(.

Today dad received his delivery of pull-ups from the continence clinic which I didn't think he'd get. Unfortunately he now seems to go commando quite often and there's no containing the constant dribble when he does that.

I've handed responsibility for dad over to my sister this week so it's been a nice change only having to clean up after bunnies and chickens.

I wonder if dad will be able to sustain host mode all week or if sister will see what he's really like by the end of of it...
 

Rolypoly

Registered User
Jan 15, 2018
2,319
0
@Rolypoly . Re waterproof pillow covers I got some terry towelling zipped ones from Amazon which are not too crinkly. £8.95 for a pack of two by High living.
I've tried three times to post a link for them but I think my iPad is dying :(.

Today dad received his delivery of pull-ups from the continence clinic which I didn't think he'd get. Unfortunately he now seems to go commando quite often and there's no containing the constant dribble when he does that.

I've handed responsibility for dad over to my sister this week so it's been a nice change only having to clean up after bunnies and chickens.

I wonder if dad will be able to sustain host mode all week or if sister will see what he's really like by the end of of it...


Funnily enough I’ve just been looking at waterproof bedding online!

Commando...doesn’t bear thinking about :confused:. At least mum hasn’t thought to do that yet. Sometimes she has to check to see if she’s wearing any if you ask!

Good for you to pass responsibility on, even if it’s only for a week. His host mask may well slip but it’s still not the same as continuous day in day out caring. Enjoy your week off :).
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
Been round to dads for first time after sister looked after him last week. The dustbin is full to the top with inco pads. Looks like she didn't put it out last week :eek: Won't be emptied until a week tomorrow :mad:

I've spent 2 hrs at dad's this morning while he's undergone an assessment by the community mental health nurse and OT. The conclusion of the meeting :-
We don't think we can do much to help but will refer to the social services and back to the memory clinic.

CPN did say dad would probably be taken off Donepezil. Can I contest this? Would he be given something else instead? I was told, by his memory doc, that if he stops taking Donepezil he'll deteriorate quickly...
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
After the polite argument I had at OH meds review last week it is always worth questioning anything like that Bunpoots.
Sorry your sister yet wad more of a hindrance than a help.
 

Elle3

Registered User
Jun 30, 2016
705
0
Hi Bunpoots, I've just been catching up with your post, it seems like you have your hands full. I'm just starting with my dad having a few issues with incontinence and I kind of chuckled when I read some of the excuses your dad uses for why he is wet as my dad uses the exact same reasons. I am no where near the stage you are though as my dad is not wetting the bed etc, I think he's just not quite getting to the toilet in time, but he insists that the wet is nothing and it doesn't smell. I use the excuse one of the earlier posters suggested and ignore the fact it could be urine and just tell him he's spilt his tea so we need to get his trousers changed. He does sometimes go along with this. My dad has also started to go commando, which is kind of disconcerting, especially as I saw the crotch seam in his trousers today was ripped and I saw more of dad than I wanted to.

My dad refuses to wash and shower when I ask him to, I've also discovered his electric shower has now stopped working, so I've now taken it on myself to just get a bowl of warm water, soap and a flannel and I wash him in the lounge. I don't ask, I don't warn, I just tell him we are going to remove his top half clothes and I wash him with the flannel, he always starts to complain but when I start to wash him he actually enjoys it and strangely its kind of nice bonding experience. When it comes to the bottom half, I just tell him to remove his trousers, I use a towel to shield his modesty and then I give him the wet soapy flannel and tell him to wash his own private bits (that does take some time getting him to understand, but we eventually get there).

With regards your health and wellbeing, this is really important. I was getting a bit like you last year, I had high blood pressure, I was stress eating, plus my dad likes to go out for lunch, so I was eating two large meals a day and the pounds were piling on, my hips and knees were aching too. My saviour was a bursary from the carers centre which I got in August last year, they suggested I put it towards a weekend away, but that wasn't possible with my dad, so I asked could I put this towards a leisure centre membership and they said yes, so I started off by going swimming early in the morning (7-7.30am) before I go to visit dad. The swimming just enabled me to relax and think about nothing but what length number I was doing, plus it has improved my fitness and I've lost weight. I now alternate between swimming and going the gym and this just sets me up for the day and helps me chill and deal with whatever is thrown at me by dad. So what I'm trying to say is, try putting yourself first occasionally, it really helps.

Take care.
Elle x
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
7,342
0
Nottinghamshire
After the polite argument I had at OH meds review last week it is always worth questioning anything like that Bunpoots.
Sorry your sister yet wad more of a hindrance than a help.

Thanks, I'll bear that in mind when I see him.

I was still glad of sisters help but I'm not sure what I'll do with dad's rubbish this week :confused:...
Next time I'll send her a reminder!!
 

JBK

Registered User
Feb 25, 2018
47
0
Hi Bunpoots, I've just been catching up with your post, it seems like you have your hands full. I'm just starting with my dad having a few issues with incontinence and I kind of chuckled when I read some of the excuses your dad uses for why he is wet as my dad uses the exact same reasons. I am no where near the stage you are though as my dad is not wetting the bed etc, I think he's just not quite getting to the toilet in time, but he insists that the wet is nothing and it doesn't smell. I use the excuse one of the earlier posters suggested and ignore the fact it could be urine and just tell him he's spilt his tea so we need to get his trousers changed. He does sometimes go along with this. My dad has also started to go commando, which is kind of disconcerting, especially as I saw the crotch seam in his trousers today was ripped and I saw more of dad than I wanted to.

My dad refuses to wash and shower when I ask him to, I've also discovered his electric shower has now stopped working, so I've now taken it on myself to just get a bowl of warm water, soap and a flannel and I wash him in the lounge. I don't ask, I don't warn, I just tell him we are going to remove his top half clothes and I wash him with the flannel, he always starts to complain but when I start to wash him he actually enjoys it and strangely its kind of nice bonding experience. When it comes to the bottom half, I just tell him to remove his trousers, I use a towel to shield his modesty and then I give him the wet soapy flannel and tell him to wash his own private bits (that does take some time getting him to understand, but we eventually get there).

With regards your health and wellbeing, this is really important. I was getting a bit like you last year, I had high blood pressure, I was stress eating, plus my dad likes to go out for lunch, so I was eating two large meals a day and the pounds were piling on, my hips and knees were aching too. My saviour was a bursary from the carers centre which I got in August last year, they suggested I put it towards a weekend away, but that wasn't possible with my dad, so I asked could I put this towards a leisure centre membership and they said yes, so I started off by going swimming early in the morning (7-7.30am) before I go to visit dad. The swimming just enabled me to relax and think about nothing but what length number I was doing, plus it has improved my fitness and I've lost weight. I now alternate between swimming and going the gym and this just sets me up for the day and helps me chill and deal with whatever is thrown at me by dad. So what I'm trying to say is, try putting yourself first occasionally, it really helps.

Take care.
Elle x
Hi Elle3
Like you I'm beginning to feel I really need some "me" time. Would you mind telling me how to go about getting a bursary from Carers Centre. Are they the same people who do carer's assessments ?
Thanks x
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
Hi Elle3
Like you I'm beginning to feel I really need some "me" time. Would you mind telling me how to go about getting a bursary from Carers Centre. Are they the same people who do carer's assessments ?
Thanks x
The carers centre will help you fill out carers assessment forms if you are self funding, but the bursary / grant comes from the local authority. I would speak to either your local social services or your local carers trust carer support centre to get the full picture. My £300 grant was spent on massage therapy, well worth it.