At the end of my tether...

[Bunpoots]

I think you can ones on the wrist that are meant to self activate when the person falls, although not sure how well they work.

And these words were the minibus song on a university canoe club surf trip back when I was young "There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow; there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim. Analysis, Mr. Spock. It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it; it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, ..."


I was the only female, and got to drive the minibus as I was 'just' old enough - never driven a minibus, never towed, we had a trailer with 13 canoes, and off on a 5 hour drive to Cornwall - the driving was shared between 3 of us - fab memories of a fab trip - which is why any reference to Star Trek is spotted.

...only going forwards cos we can't find reverse...

So I won't say that some days it seems like we're living in a alternate universe...

I've been a massive fan of Star Trek since I was small child. I even had my hair cut like Spock's when I was 8. Happy days

 

[Bunpoots]

Just need to vent so feel free to ignore me.
GP has decided that dad's legs are swollen and he needs an extra water pill. The results have been predictable. This morning was the worst ever.. Dad decided to go to bed at 6.30 last night and nothing the carer said would dissuade him so when I arrived this morning dad was asleep on the sofa and the bed was saturated - thru the disposable pad which normally contains things, the sheets (top and bottom) the kylie pad and down to the waterproof mattress protector. Even the pillows were soaked!!!

So I've stripped the bed, put one load of washing in, left the second and third loads behind the garage door made his breakfast and will now be looking online for waterproof pillows cases that don't make a noise...

Suspect he forgot his pants again

 

[Kikki21]

Just need to vent so feel free to ignore me.
GP has decided that dad's legs are swollen and he needs an extra water pill. The results have been predictable. This morning was the worst ever.. Dad decided to go to bed at 6.30 last night and nothing the carer said would dissuade him so when I arrived this morning dad was asleep on the sofa and the bed was saturated - thru the disposable pad which normally contains things, the sheets (top and bottom) the kylie pad and down to the waterproof mattress protector. Even the pillows were soaked!!!

So I've stripped the bed, put one load of washing in, left the second and third loads behind the garage door made his breakfast and will now be looking online for waterproof pillows cases that don't make a noise...

Suspect he forgot his pants again

My mum has the swollen legs & feet & was on all sorts of water pills which didn’t work. She has been taken off them & still has swollen legs which they have now said is cellulitis & is still going to the toilet every half hour or so. It seems to be part of her dementia progression. I am still trying to see what sort of pants we’ll be going for. At the moment, she doesn’t want to change her clothes!

 

[Rolypoly]

I feel for you.

Did he know (a) that the bed was wet and (b) deny all knowledge of how it happened...must have been one huge drink that got spilt .

I’ve thought about waterproof pillows and duvet but not got any further than a brief look. Let me know how you get on.

 

[Bunpoots]

I don't think dad's water pills make any difference to his legs @Kikki21 but I think he needs them for heart failure too. They make him wee a lot but he just drinks more so I don't think any water is being pulled out of his tissues. He's got to see Dr again on 11th April. It'd be great if they could be stopped, or reduced.

Dad's been using pads but I think it's time for pull-ups .The lady at the continence clinic has applied for pull-ups but thinks we'll have a hard time getting any. Pads and nets would be useless to dad as he wouldn't be able to manage them by himself.

I didn't bother to tell him the bed was wet @Rolypoly although I expect the excuse would have been quite amusing...

Dad won't have a duvet so it's sheets and blankets. He's wet everything. I've been out to look for waterproof pillowcases but can't find any so I've ordered some from Amazon. I'll let you know if they're any good. Luckily I hadn't thrown my old pillows away yet so he can make do with those for now.

I've remade his bed like this:
Waterproof mattress cover, Kylie pad lengthwise, 2nd Kylie widthwise, 2 disposable pet pads side by side, sheet, disposable stick on inco pad lengthwise on the side he sleeps and another pet pad taped to the sheet next to it....(He has a 4ft bed just to be awkward!!)
Hopefully the mattress will be safe
And I'm thinking of wrapping a pet pad round the pillow - but it might be too noisy.

 

[fortune]

You can get an extending bar that goes floor to ceiling and acts as a perpendicular grab rail. We had the same problem of flimsy walls and Council OT arranged for this thing to be fitted and it worked really well for my mum.

 

[Bunpoots]

You can get an extending bar that goes floor to ceiling and acts as a perpendicular grab rail. We had the same problem of flimsy walls and Council OT arranged for this thing to be fitted and it worked really well for my mum.

That sounds perfect. I'll mention it to the OT when she comes again.

 

[Norfolk Cherry]

Hi @Primula1 it sounds like a mirror image of my life!! And I'm going to refuse the lifeline unless they've got one which can press its own button

Aaargh, this is my life too. Misguidedly I did accept the pendant alarm, knowing full well she wouldn't remember to press it. It's gone off many times as she's taken it off to have a shower? (it has a drop alarm) The paramedics came twice as she didn't answer the phone, and they couldn't get through to me. Now she's lost it and it's going to be £70 to replace! Great. (But I feel guilt tripped into getting another one-) Anyone else got this problem?

 

[Primula1]

Aaargh, this is my life too. Misguidedly I did accept the pendant alarm, knowing full well she wouldn't remember to press it. It's gone off many times as she's taken it off to have a shower? (it has a drop alarm) The paramedics came twice as she didn't answer the phone, and they couldn't get through to me. Now she's lost it and it's going to be £70 to replace! Great. (But I feel guilt tripped into getting another one-) Anyone else got this problem?

Hi I feel quite glad that I refused the alarm but the guilt that something might happen and she can’t contact anyone is enormous. I have a wireless press alarm on her bedside cabinet and the alarm goes off next dooor as her neighbours have been good enough to say that they will have it, but I am sure now that she doesn’t realise what it is for and will never press that either if she was in trouble! The neighbours say that it never goes off (on the other hand if she pressed it all the while I would have to remove it anyway as woken want to upset the neighbours). Sometimes you can’t win either way !

 

[Norfolk Cherry]

Hi I feel quite glad that I refused the alarm but the guilt that something might happen and she can’t contact anyone is enormous. I have a wireless press alarm on her bedside cabinet and the alarm goes off next dooor as her neighbours have been good enough to say that they will have it, but I am sure now that she doesn’t realise what it is for and will never press that either if she was in trouble! The neighbours say that it never goes off (on the other hand if she pressed it all the while I would have to remove it anyway as woken want to upset the neighbours). Sometimes you can’t win either way !

@Primula1 The one thing we can know is that we are most definitely not going to win this one.

 

[Kikki21]

I don't think dad's water pills make any difference to his legs @Kikki21 but I think he needs them for heart failure too. They make him wee a lot but he just drinks more so I don't think any water is being pulled out of his tissues. He's got to see Dr again on 11th April. It'd be great if they could be stopped, or reduced.

Dad's been using pads but I think it's time for pull-ups .The lady at the continence clinic has applied for pull-ups but thinks we'll have a hard time getting any. Pads and nets would be useless to dad as he wouldn't be able to manage them by himself.

I didn't bother to tell him the bed was wet @Rolypoly although I expect the excuse would have been quite amusing...

Dad won't have a duvet so it's sheets and blankets. He's wet everything. I've been out to look for waterproof pillowcases but can't find any so I've ordered some from Amazon. I'll let you know if they're any good. Luckily I hadn't thrown my old pillows away yet so he can make do with those for now.

I've remade his bed like this:
Waterproof mattress cover, Kylie pad lengthwise, 2nd Kylie widthwise, 2 disposable pet pads side by side, sheet, disposable stick on inco pad lengthwise on the side he sleeps and another pet pad taped to the sheet next to it....(He has a 4ft bed just to be awkward!!)
Hopefully the mattress will be safe
And I'm thinking of wrapping a pet pad round the pillow - but it might be too noisy.

Good lord that sounds like a lot of stuff on that bed!!
My mum has angina but at the moment just needs a spray if she has pain in her chest. I suspect as she has vascular dementia that she has some degree of heart disease too.

 

[Moggymad]

Aaargh, this is my life too. Misguidedly I did accept the pendant alarm, knowing full well she wouldn't remember to press it. It's gone off many times as she's taken it off to have a shower? (it has a drop alarm) The paramedics came twice as she didn't answer the phone, and they couldn't get through to me. Now she's lost it and it's going to be £70 to replace! Great. (But I feel guilt tripped into getting another one-) Anyone else got this problem?

All very familiar to me! Wasn't very successful getting mum to keep it on until she started having carers who tried to make sure she was wearing it on each visit. Had to take it off at bedtime though as it kept going off & I was called out numerous times only to find her fast asleep. One good thing about the system was that on some occasions if I was a bit worried when mum didn't answer her phone I would ring the callcare office & ask them to speak to mum to make sure she was OK which they happily did. Had to chuckle to myself at the thought of this disembodied voice speaking to mum & mum answering, having no idea where it was coming from! We also found one missing pendant when we cleared out mum's flat. They had replaced it with a warning that next time we'd be charged...

 

[Norfolk Cherry]

All very familiar to me! Wasn't very successful getting mum to keep it on until she started having carers who tried to make sure she was wearing it on each visit. Had to take it off at bedtime though as it kept going off & I was called out numerous times only to find her fast asleep. One good thing about the system was that on some occasions if I was a bit worried when mum didn't answer her phone I would ring the callcare office & ask them to speak to mum to make sure she was OK which they happily did. Had to chuckle to myself at the thought of this disembodied voice speaking to mum & mum answering, having no idea where it was coming from! We also found one missing pendant when we cleared out mum's flat. They had replaced it with a warning that next time we'd be charged...

Good point @Moggymad I hadn't thought of asking them to check on her. Or asking the carers to take it off as well as put it on to avoid it going off. This site is so good for sharing ideas, I've felt a lot more positive and happier about looking after my mum since I found it.

 

[Bunpoots]

Good lord that sounds like a lot of stuff on that bed!!
.

My logic is that if he has a good day I'll just change the top layer and if it's a really really bad one it shouldn't get through to the mattress...

Dad started with angina but forgot how to use the spray. Once I stopped him after he sprayed 5 squirts under his tongue Instead of the one he should have and the morning ended with a trip to A&E by ambulance after he collapsed with very low blood pressure. I think he intended to just keep spraying until he felt better!!

 

[Kikki21]

My logic is that if he has a good day I'll just change the top layer and if it's a really really bad one it shouldn't get through to the mattress...

Dad started with angina but forgot how to use the spray. Once I stopped him after he sprayed 5 squirts under his tongue Instead of the one he should have and the morning ended with a trip to A&E by ambulance after he collapsed with very low blood pressure. I think he intended to just keep spraying until he felt better!!

And that’s another reason why my mum is in a care home. I don’t think she would know what to do if she felt bad.

 

[Rolypoly]

That sounds perfect. I'll mention it to the OT when she comes again.

I know I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t resist a little smile at the thought of our pwd doing a bit of pole dancing!

 

[Bunpoots]

I know I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t resist a little smile at the thought of our pwd doing a bit of pole dancing!

 

[fortune]

We had trouble with the inertia fall alarm - constantly going off for no reason. Replaced it with an old-style red button push alarm and weeks of coaching on how to use it. Last two times mum fell she pushed the button and was rescued quickly. We also have a bed pressure alarm - if she's absent from the bed for more than an hour between 11 pm and 7 am it sends an alert to telecare.

 

[Malalie]

RolyPoly - exact thought going through my mind too - just didn't dare post it! (Naughty person.....)

We got MIL a pendant not long after FIL died, when she was well. She never pushed it when she was well, because she didn't want to be a bother, and she never pressed the button after she developed dementia, because she didn't remember what it was for! Because we encouraged her to wear it all the time after Dad died, she was in the habit, and wore it all the time, but it didn't help.

 

[Rolypoly]

RolyPoly - exact thought going through my mind too - just didn't dare post it! (Naughty person.....)

We got MIL a pendant not long after FIL died, when she was well. She never pushed it when she was well, because she didn't want to be a bother, and she never pressed the button after she developed dementia, because she didn't remember what it was for! Because we encouraged her to wear it all the time after Dad died, she was in the habit, and wore it all the time, but it didn't help.

Nice bit of costume jewellery.