My mum lives alone and has vascular dementia/Alzheimer's diagnosed 3 years ago, she also has a colostomy bag in situ. She struggles with her communication as she as asphasia which is very frustrating for her and makes her isolated and lonely.
I have been trying to get support from our local social care service and older person team since last summer. She has had one assessment which I did not agree with the outcome and asked for this to be carried out again. I have recently wrote a letter to social care, older person team, Gp and the Stoma nurses but we are still not getting anyone to take any notice of my mums issues.
I can no longer continue with this situation , I work full time and this is having a negative impact on my health. I do not know what else to do and feel that my mum is being punished for having dementia , as I feel is she had a medical condition her care would be much better.
Has anyone else had issues with their local council,??
Hi
I'm so sorry to hear about the problems you are having just to get support for your Mother. I have been on both sides of the coin having been a Community Carer for over 65's AND having to have carers in for myself to help me with personal care now that I am disabled.
When I was working we used to hear about the problems people were having to get more care, getting things for helping their loved ones to live fairly independently, etc. If you have gone down every avenue you can think of, including getting advice from Alzheimers Society or other charities, and are still no nearer to getting help & support from Social Services then you might have to be brave and just tell them that you cannot cope anymore and that if they do not help then you will turn your back on your Mother for the sake of your own health & well-being. I know this is the last thing you want to do and it will be extremely hard to do it but sometimes the Social need a kick up the proverbial before they take notice!! Make sure you tell them that you cannot cope anymore without some sort of support, I heard of some that when asked how they were coping they replied "Oh you know, we have to cope don't we" or similar and the Social were more than happy to LEAVE them coping alone!
When I was assessed for Care I did have to exaggerate my condition a bit because I knew that without me doing so I would receive no help at all. It was quite a nightmare dealing with the Social and my local Council were not much better when a couple of years later they did another financial assessment for me and I was told that I would have to pay nearly full cost of my care even though I live on Benefits due to being unable to work. Sadly for me the council were adamant about the payment and I had to cancel my care totally and have had to struggle since then but that doesn't mean YOU have to struggle, just grit your teeth and make sure you are insistent about needing help and don't let them try to fob you off in anyway...you deserve help!
By the way, your Mother DOES have a medical condition! Being fitted with a Stoma bag is not taken lightly and needs careful monitoring as you know well. The Council will not want the Stoma Nurses coming out to your Mother too often because it costs £100's for each visit (Back in approx 2005/6 I know that in my area a visit by a Stoma Nurse cost £250 per visit!) and Carers these days (social Service carers I mean) are being trained in all sorts of things that once upon a time nurses/OT's would come out to do (I was trained in how to fit a Stoma Bag along with all of my colleagues) and it will cost the Council less to send a carer than to send a nurse!
Good Luck, I hope you can get them to take notice this time
