My mum’s going to the care home tomorrow!

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
I was out & about this morning checking emails as I go when an email from the social worker pinged through saying yes care home all assessed & agreed & we can transfer your mum - tomorrow!!!

Yes thanks... less than 24 hrs notice so we swung round to my mum’s house & got her coat, scarf, gloves & hat as we had severe “coatgate” when she was moved last time.

I then had to ring the discharge person to give my permission for my mum to be discharged & then dropped off the coat etc. My mum wasn’t in a great mood. Yet again struggling with eating lunch & generally grumpy.

We then swung by the care home to check which room had been allocated to my mum , it is one with an ensuite toilet & sink & to check what we needed to bring for her. I have got her a new duvet cover set as she will have a single bed now plus more toiletries & a throw & I will get some photos & other stuff from her home to make it more homely for her.

I’ve asked for the care home to get her a comfy chair to sit in as well which they will sort out. I just need sticky labels now for her clothes & possessions so just about to sort that out.
I can’t believe that it is coming to this but it is for the best, I think she is going to kick off tomorrow but we will visit in the afternoon after lunch & hope she has calmed down by then. She seems very dubious about it all so I am worried.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Wishing you and your Mum good luck @Kikki21 and I hope moving in will go smoothly for you both. Her room sounds lovely and it will be such a relief to know that she will be looked after and hopefully then some of the stress and strain will be lifted from your shoulders. Have edited this because I forgot to say that I too, had been worried sick about moving my own Mum in to her care home just over a week ago, but it was not as bad as I had feared and I hope the same will be true for you too.

Thank you @Carmar - the rooms are all pretty standard really & we saw a few care homes so they are like a hotel room as such but not as fancy. My mum’s bungalow is pretty small too. I just hope my mum will integrate in there as she has proved very resistant to this in the past.
 

father ted

Registered User
Aug 16, 2010
734
0
London
Good Luck Kikki21,

I hope all goes well tomorrow. My Mum went into a home over 8 weeks ago, and similar to Carmar, it went far better than I had anticipated. I am sure you won't get much sleep tonight but by this time tomorrow it will have happened and the first hurdle over.
It's not a decision any of us want to make and much agonising before the decision is made.
As you say it is for the best. I hope your Mum settles quickly but if not she will settle in time. Let us know how it goes.
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,685
0
I was out & about this morning checking emails as I go when an email from the social worker pinged through saying yes care home all assessed & agreed & we can transfer your mum - tomorrow!!!

Yes thanks... less than 24 hrs notice so we swung round to my mum’s house & got her coat, scarf, gloves & hat as we had severe “coatgate” when she was moved last time.

I then had to ring the discharge person to give my permission for my mum to be discharged & then dropped off the coat etc. My mum wasn’t in a great mood. Yet again struggling with eating lunch & generally grumpy.

We then swung by the care home to check which room had been allocated to my mum , it is one with an ensuite toilet & sink & to check what we needed to bring for her. I have got her a new duvet cover set as she will have a single bed now plus more toiletries & a throw & I will get some photos & other stuff from her home to make it more homely for her.

I’ve asked for the care home to get her a comfy chair to sit in as well which they will sort out. I just need sticky labels now for her clothes & possessions so just about to sort that out.
I can’t believe that it is coming to this but it is for the best, I think she is going to kick off tomorrow but we will visit in the afternoon after lunch & hope she has calmed down by then. She seems very dubious about it all so I am worried.
I hope it all goes as well as it can. Sew in labels are much better than iron on ones, which don't last
 

SnowWhite

Registered User
Nov 18, 2016
699
0
These are the labels you need Kikki.

https://www.stikins.co.uk/

They process your order the same day. I received mine the next day. Someone on here recommended them so I ordered some and have been very impressed and have recommended them to others. They have extra strong adhesive and Mums have been through the wash countless times brilliantly. You just stick them on the care labels or brand labels of clothes. I would never sew in labels again and wish they had been around when my kids were at school.

I do hope your Mum settles well. i know you said you got her a new duvet set but does she have a throw or cover that she is familiar with. I put a big crochet throw on Mums bed that I made her ages ago and which she loves. Fingers crossed for you xx
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
These are the labels you need Kikki.

https://www.stikins.co.uk/

They process your order the same day. I received mine the next day. Someone on here recommended them so I ordered some and have been very impressed and have recommended them to others. They have extra strong adhesive and Mums have been through the wash countless times brilliantly. You just stick them on the care labels or brand labels of clothes. I would never sew in labels again and wish they had been around when my kids were at school.

I do hope your Mum settles well. i know you said you got her a new duvet set but does she have a throw or cover that she is familiar with. I put a big crochet throw on Mums bed that I made her ages ago and which she loves. Fingers crossed for you xx

I remembered the name of these & ordered them tonight for my mum - thank you!
My mum has a fleece poncho thing that I bought her which she loves & she has it with her at the moment so that will be with her. I think there are some blankets I can bring from her home too that should feel familiar for her too but she will complain of being cold I’m sure & I need to bring her some more shoes but her feet are so swollen that it is difficult to purchase new ones & she has child size shoes!
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Good Luck Kikki21,

I hope all goes well tomorrow. My Mum went into a home over 8 weeks ago, and similar to Carmar, it went far better than I had anticipated. I am sure you won't get much sleep tonight but by this time tomorrow it will have happened and the first hurdle over.
It's not a decision any of us want to make and much agonising before the decision is made.
As you say it is for the best. I hope your Mum settles quickly but if not she will settle in time. Let us know how it goes.

Thank you! I read of your tales with your mum & so pleased she has settled in well. My mum has a bit of a stomach ache tonight, well she has had it all day so she had some blood tests tonight. They think she is ok but just being careful so I hope she does move tomorrow.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Thank you for everyone’s comments & good luck for today. I do feel pretty blah & hope that my mum settles in well & doesn’t have a kick off!
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
So the hospital just rang & they have packed up her stuff & sent her to the care home. She wasn’t very happy about it this morning but we will be along this afternoon to visit her after lunch time!
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,962
0
Kent
So the hospital just rang & they have packed up her stuff & sent her to the care home. She wasn’t very happy about it this morning but we will be along this afternoon to visit her after lunch time!
In some ways for you it was probably better that they handled it all then they are the 'bad' person this morning not you and you can follow the lines of they arranged it for her to get better...obviously she will be staying there...when you go in later. Glad all the plans fell into place eventually
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
1,685
0
When you visit at first, can be handy to leave at a meal time, so that you can say "time for dinner" or whatever and leave your relative doing something so that they don't think too hard about your going. After a while I think Mummy was quite glad to be shot of me as they do a lot of activities which she enjoys.
 

Helly11

Registered User
Apr 24, 2017
49
0
Derby
Hi Kikk21, I hope everything goes well with your Mum settling in. I see there are a few of us going through the 'care home' move right now!

After my previous posts, I can now confirm that Dad also moved into his home on Friday. Needless to say, we are all still adjusting!! However, the staff seem lovely and it was nice to see Dad looking reasonably bright yesterday and engaging a little more with us than he did in hospital, where he had become very withdrawn. I was also delighted that he accepted my offer of a chocolate and then even asked for another given a) his recent lack of appetite and b) his disinclination ever to ask for anything he needs/wants!

Good luck to you, your mum, and all the other forum members who are in this position right now.
 

SnowWhite

Registered User
Nov 18, 2016
699
0
I remembered the name of these & ordered them tonight for my mum - thank you!
My mum has a fleece poncho thing that I bought her which she loves & she has it with her at the moment so that will be with her. I think there are some blankets I can bring from her home too that should feel familiar for her too but she will complain of being cold I’m sure & I need to bring her some more shoes but her feet are so swollen that it is difficult to purchase new ones & she has child size shoes!

Mums room is lovely and warm but she is always saying shes cold. Even when she was a young woman we would have cats tails on the doors and thick curtains as she could “feel a draught.” My husband and son both fell asleep within minutes in her room at the weekend as its so warm!

Anyway, yesterday I bought her some black thermal leggings to wear under her trousers and they are a big hit!! They were £6 from The Factory Shop and she loves them. They would also be OK for your Mum with her swollen feet.
 

Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
4,616
0
USA
Kikki, just want to say I'm so glad a place was finally found and hope this all goes as well as it possibly can. Best wishes and hang in there.
 

Georgina63

Registered User
Aug 11, 2014
973
0
Hi @Kikki21, just to add to the wishes that I hope all went well with your Mum's move to the care home. It's a difficult time, but I hope she settles well. Take care. Georgina X
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
In some ways for you it was probably better that they handled it all then they are the 'bad' person this morning not you and you can follow the lines of they arranged it for her to get better...obviously she will be staying there...when you go in later. Glad all the plans fell into place eventually

Thank you yes that makes us less of the “bad guy” but she has still not taken to it great. Particularly as there are other people at the care home who she says are “idiots” because they are shouting out a lot of the time. I told my mum that like her, they aren’t very well but in her mind, they are “idiots”
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
When you visit at first, can be handy to leave at a meal time, so that you can say "time for dinner" or whatever and leave your relative doing something so that they don't think too hard about your going. After a while I think Mummy was quite glad to be shot of me as they do a lot of activities which she enjoys.

We left just before dinner & my mum just asked as is standard of her when are you coming next & I replied soon.
They weren’t doing too much today, just sat in the lounge area watching TV. At least my mum was in there which was a start.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Hi Kikk21, I hope everything goes well with your Mum settling in. I see there are a few of us going through the 'care home' move right now!

After my previous posts, I can now confirm that Dad also moved into his home on Friday. Needless to say, we are all still adjusting!! However, the staff seem lovely and it was nice to see Dad looking reasonably bright yesterday and engaging a little more with us than he did in hospital, where he had become very withdrawn. I was also delighted that he accepted my offer of a chocolate and then even asked for another given a) his recent lack of appetite and b) his disinclination ever to ask for anything he needs/wants!

Good luck to you, your mum, and all the other forum members who are in this position right now.

Thank you & I hope your dad continues to settle in well. I have to say all the staff we have encountered are absolutely lovely at the care home but I am sat here thinking that I know I have made the right decision but a lot of the other pwd seem worse than my mum with them either not talking or shouting out & my mum isn’t at that stage.
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Mums room is lovely and warm but she is always saying shes cold. Even when she was a young woman we would have cats tails on the doors and thick curtains as she could “feel a draught.” My husband and son both fell asleep within minutes in her room at the weekend as its so warm!

Anyway, yesterday I bought her some black thermal leggings to wear under her trousers and they are a big hit!! They were £6 from The Factory Shop and she loves them. They would also be OK for your Mum with her swollen feet.

My mum feels the cold too something chronic, even when the room is baking hot, she is saying it’s too cold! Unfortunately my mum doesn’t wear trousers so there is no way she would wear leggings unless she wore a dress over them like I do but she is hugely old fashioned when it comes to clothing. Her labels should come tomorrow so we can go back to the care home & start popping them in.
 

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